Day 103 check in.
My heart hurts so much this morning. I havent been checking in just because I dont have anything good to say.
I dont want to live in a world without my best friend and I dont want to move on and leave her behind. I love her so much. Why did she have to leave me!? I can still hear her voice like it was yesterday. I miss her so bad.
In addiction not only do we hurt ourselves but we hurt everyone around us who loves us. I cant stop the pain, it hurts so much everday. A piece of me is gone forever.
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Checking in Insallah. Life is good for now.
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Man @Clarity I can feel your pain all the way from here and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have lost many people in my life (my wife, my 11 year old son, my grandfather who was murdered by my uncle and my mom and grandmother) all of that being said it still is different from the pain you are feeling as every death effects people differently so I don’t have an advice but I am sending you a lot of love, prayers and hope that you will get through this I promise. I’m so proud of you for walking through this clean and sober, you definitely are a badass and an inspiration to me and I’m sure many others. Stay strong and keep posting what you’re feeling and going through, you’re doing amazing!!! Love you my friend 
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The Middle East gave me PTSD. But it also taught me the power of stories. I seek stories now.
checking in.
I"m in the US and I find it hard today. It’s hard for me to know that the President is, predictably, promoting actual lies about the democratic process, and that there’s real threat to the principle that everyone’s vote gets counted – even setting aside the fact that we have the ridiculousness of the Electoral College, so winning the popular vote isn’t nearly enough to win the presidency. I think there need to be a whole lot of changes to make this country more fair to more people who are really struggling, and I worry we’re going in totally the wrong direction. I know there are many different opinions on this forum, as is right, and I don’t want to offend anyone; I’m just sharing my feelings, which are overwhelmingly about all this now. I also know that there’s nothing I can do today, beyond take care of my own self, and my own family. staying sober is a good thing to do, even if I can’t do much else.
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You have been through so much pain in your life, that makes me so sad!! Im so proud of you and all your accomplishments after everything you have been though… Losing a child too is my biggest nightmare. You are a survivor.
Knowing my friend died from drugs and probably alcohol too makes it easier to stay sober but my mind does try to tell me she would want me to cheers to her like old times but I know thats not true. She would want me to stay sober. Thanks for your sweet responses, they make my day. 
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Day 754. Today has a lot of anxiety and heartache. For those also struggling with emotions today, I am holding space for you and praying for all of us 
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Thank you all for you kind wishes. I am grateful having found this community.
I just got an invitation for a job interview this Friday morning. Wooooh, I have enough time to prepare and not enough to panic over the weekend as she also proposed to me Monday. 
We will see. No pressure for me.
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54 days.
I feel so sad today. Stronger and less emotional than yesterday but just sad. I feel like I’m depriving my cats by not being allowed to give their dry food, and although I know it’s for Prince’s best chance of healing, it just feels horrible. My other cat is able to jump to the kitchen worktop, so I’ve left some dry food up there for him, but it made me extra sad because as soon as Prince heard the crunching he came through and was just sat there looking up expectantly. I really can’t wait for this next month to pass. I’m also super on edge about the wire protruding from his chin, I keep wincing at the thought of it getting caught on something. He’s doing okay though, and he doesn’t seem to hate me.
I did both of my walks today. I almost didn’t do the afternoon one, but I was craving pizza so I made myself to it on the promise of pizza. Now that craving can finally stop because I’ve had it now. I feel regret and bloated. I will reset my take away counter and start again.
I started a film but only managed 5 mins of it, going to attempt to watch a bit more now and then get ready for bed.
I want to be positive, but I guess we all get sad sometimes. My animals are my world so I’m finding this difficult. No desire at all for drugs or alcohol though, can’t think of anything worse!
Sending strength to everyone in America, it sounds like a really stressful time, though I know nothing at all about politics, even here in the UK.
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Big congrats on your 60, I’m right behind you. I read your post last night about the relapse looming idea, and I want to say you’re doing really well to be so self-aware and to put it out there to get feedback from others.
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Congrats🥳 I love that statement at the bottom that came with it for you today, too.
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Great work there with your 10 sober days. Well done 
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Sorry, I hope I can just leave it here. I texted an old close friend of mine. We were somehow too close for some months but that’s okay now. He just sent me a pic of their new 2 kittens. Sooooooo cute. What’s their names? - whiskey and gin. 
I don’t think it’s funny. I answered him that I found this strange a name as I celebrated my 2nd year of sobriety. I know it’s none of my business but for me it somehow reflects the oh sooo funny, careless use /presence of that shit in our society. Thanks for sharing. 
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That post really helped me today as I’m struggling. Thank you.
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Checking in on day 52. Still sober, I distract myself as much as I can, yesterday evening I went for a run to the hills, today evening worked out, this seems to be the most effective asset against cravings at the moment.
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Ahh, I’ve been having a crappy day. It felt good to open this app up and see those words of encouragement!! Thank you 
We definitely can!
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Look at that kitty looking at you Tyler! He loves you! It’s all for him right. I understand it’s hard for you but cats take so much in their stride. He will too. You are there for him. That’s most important for Prince.
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Yes yes yes. But it turns into passion, keep doing what your doing. Much love
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