Hey girl thinking of you 
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Thank you, that means so much!! 
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I’d throw them too, but mostly because of the smell!
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Day 2. I am back to two-a-day Dharma meetings. I am scheduling basically every minute of my day through the end of the year. Journaling, reading, bookwork - all of the things I was doing until I decided not to do them anymore.
Really poor sleep last night. I was so cold and didn’t want to get up and get an extra blanket, so I laid there miserable. Is that a metaphor for addiction, or what??
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I am. I’m sorry, just full of anxiety. Feel like I’m bugging everyone.
Mate, chill. This is just another one of those things that are sent to try us.
Remember
Peace and love mate
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I love seeing peoples projects. So cool!
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Day 52 and I’ve checked all my groups here. And now I’m frustrated and kind of angry. Not for me but for the people that were brave enough to start a thread. To put their interest out there. Etc.
Today I’m going to scroll here less. I feel like in each group I go to there’s someone in them trying to undermine peoples groups they have started. I know it’s just that person struggling but it’s just rude to go in and shit talk other peoples efforts at making a thread that is a way for them to find a human connection. A topic that makes them want to keep coming back here day after day. A place where they can talk about a thing that interests them more than their addiction.
If you see a group and don’t have anything to add to it but bile and negativity you CAN just avoid it you know instead of going in there and crapping all over someone else’s effort to find connection. Sheesh.
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Day 151 clean and sober today. Wow do I love being sober!!! I am so grateful to not be where I was 5 months ago homeless and suicidal. It is so special and means so much to me to be able to do simple things like take my girlfriend out to dinner. Last night Faith and I went out to dinner and celebrated my 5 months sober and our 1 month anniversary of getting back together. As I sat in the restaurant I was so grateful that I was where I was and what I have been blessed to do. Thank you all for your love and support, love you guys!!! 
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Excellent job you! 
I’m so happy for you.
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Thank you so much!!!
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Check in too send love and to share my journey day 109 herion free down to 20 ml from 70 ml on methadone (nearly there) and 6 n half’s weeks smoke free. Not too bad for an ex junkie who’s life consist of prison and prostitution. Theres hope for us all we just need to keep believing in ourselves. Xx
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Proud of you. Well done. 
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Nice one Emm!
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Atta girl Emm. Way to go!! That’s really great to read. Keep at it. You’re so worth it
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Checking in on a cold 
one this morning.
Hey you Laplanders @Milele and @Olivia
And there are a lot of people don’t think it gets this cold in Arizona. I use to be one of them.
I think that’s about -12 c
But at least it will be sunny all day and warm up a bit.
Y’all stay sober/clean.
Because y’all are worth it
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Checking in.
Mixed associations with addictions.
New season for me means new reminders of alcohol related events, feelings and vibes. Autumn blues just hit. Hour switching. Earlier dark hours. Less sun. Training with less energy. Stress of work, stress of projects, stress hit more than usual. More sleep, less production. Anxiety. Huge week in terms of emotional events. Fatigue. Off-season training started more seriously which means recovery adaptation (more sleep, food macros intake different). In resume, lots of changes.
Lot of changes means lot of adaptation necessity. Gotta remember that as human we have the potential to choose to adapt instead of just acting passively or repeat the same old same old. That’s why humans have conquered the world. So let’s conquer our own world by adapt and stay sober during these changes that occurs in this world full of incertitudes. Change the world by changing our own world and actions. Start small. Start precise, but with a big sens of purpose. Write down that purpose, that why we keep going everyday, and read that often. Make this why flexible but your intention about it strong.
That bottle called me a lot of times in the past week. But I’m off of it. So it’s not even the bottle that is calling me, it’s some leftover cells and neutron’s connexions in my brain that are still there and still remember that the bottle was my way to cope with everything that’s happening outside and inside of me. This part of me is stimulated by all the things I feel and see towards my autumns days. This part of me remember all these years of coping with alcohol and are looking for it by starting with projections of images of booze that attracts them and eventually (usually) makes the behaviours follows the path of drinking. And as I know all this I still feel it and see it going behind my eyes. Poor part of me, I see you. But now as I see you, you just remember me that every time I start to think about alcohol, it only means that I am right where I need to be, that I am being and discovering my true self without using. If I think of using, it is exactly because I have no need of using for being.
As I pity that part of myself and of my brain who still want to drink and use and escape, I am grateful and thankful for it to still be there so I can remember, each time the images and craving comes, that I am finally being and not under the joug of alcohol anymore. I am not escaping. I am recovering.
Hope everyone is having a good day.
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Well hello there Arizona 
It’s much colder over there than here (23F / -5C). I hope you have woolsocks big enough to keep your canoes warm 
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 72
Our new teen hade another if her infamous breakdowns yesterday. But somehow I seem to always get through and make her talk to us adults. It’s a nice feeling and I hope it lasts, my husband starts to work again next week only 06-18 shifts so he’ll be home everyday but I’m still going to be alone with the kids.
Also we’ve got new directions from the University again now they’re saying that it’s upto the instutitions to choose if they’re going completely digital for next term or not. This far mine decided that the first course is going to be via zoom which gives me until February. It makes me nervous, if things ain’t going smoothly with the teen I might have to drop out if next term won’t be online. I know, I know it’s in the future, but I can’t help worrying anyway.
Had a hair cut and a change of hair color today. It feels so nice to finally being able to cut of the outgrown pixie shag and still have some length to it. Next time I consider a shaved pixie please talk me out of it.
Besides that the cravings to drink or doing anything else haven’t been here lately, that’s a really nice feeling, but also a scary one. Because I’m in the “Wonder when it hits next time” mode. Hopefully I can go through that too and land in “I’m fine not drinking and don’t need to think about it” mode.
Wishing y’all an amazing week 
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Didn’t feel a thing mate. Carry on as you are 