Day 45. I just want to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me yesterday when I was struggling over boundaries, emotions, and, well, everything. It was a crazy day at work yesterday and I didn’t have a chance to come back here and say thank you.
I’m feeling a lot calmer today, which made a hectic day at work go more smoothly than yesterday. After a couple of days of intense emotional interactions with family, the ex, and even some people at work, I am exhausted tonight and think going to bed now is the best idea ever. I’m grateful that I’m sober, and I’m grateful to have you all in my life. Sleep well, all!
I don’t really understand. I always struggled to admit I had a drinking problem. I have now some difficulties to take ‘I am an addict’ and that’s why I drunk as a valuable excuse. At the moment I cannot figure any reason, excuse, circumstances that alcohol would improve. And that is because I know I had the tendency to ‘solve’ my problems drinking. I guess it’s part of recovery to fall and get up. But this falling will only help me when I think about why the f** again did I think alcohol would make anything different. I had to dig deeper. For me addiction is a coping strategy and I have to built and establish new ones.
@anon79808082@Clarity@Misokatsu@RosaCanDo Thanks ladies it’s so hard sometimes but I know I just have to keep being me and doing what I know is right and continue living my best life. appreciate the support I can always count on my TS fam. and @Dolse71 I feel like that too sometimes!
Heck yeah man. I think it’s awesome, it’s something you love and enjoy and helps you just be you. Eventually with time you will only keep getting better.
I said I’m sorry a million times in active addiction and then I didn’t change a goddamn thing in my life. It got to the point where the words ‘I’m sorry’ meant nothing coming from my mouth. Only through many months and years of taking action and staying sober was I able to show people that I was truly repentant.
Again, not sure why you continue to bring this up, but whatever. You do you.
Damned I’m running a fever for the first time in I don’t know how many years. I better get tested. Although I got the feeling this is something else, an old problem with my ass from cycling a lot is literally coming up right now. My GP won’t see me before I get tested though. Here I go. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.
Good morning
Checking in day 110 alcohol, day 23 pills
Baby slept all night. Made breakfast bright and early for the family. Now to work.
Have a good day everyone
Day 24, not a lot to report, no crazy dreams, no cravings. I’ve just been learning, and gathering my spark for music production again while my working world sits still. Hope you all have a great day today.
@Charlie_C and @anon35096624 I love hearing you guys are working with sponsors. It will do more for your longterm sobriety to work the program than meetings alone. It’s worked for me and I’m over 7 months. Remember honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. That’s HOW we get sobriety and the best part is we don’t have to do it alone. Stay focused and the promises will come fast!!
Day 73
Got a lot to read today. Kids are in the after school club until 16.00 so I’ve got plenty of time. Seminar again tomorrow, and I just learned that the tradition of dispute in your papers is only a tradition in Sweden and France nowdays. Which you do if you’re getting something higher than a PhD here. How does it work in other countries how do you get your Master or Dr Degrees do you have like a big exam instead?
I do plan to make my last term abroad if the Coronavirus isn’t this living so I’m honestly curious on how it works.
Had a small argument with our new teen today obviously I’m “Oldfashion with ancient values and a bad taste for clothing” because I didn’t think it was appropriate to go to school in a small white Tanktop with a black braletette showing through and with straps 3x winder than the tank straps. I’ve already forbidden tank tops or T-shirts showing the stomach. She’s 12 it’s insane. Well I mean it’s insane if you’re like 15 too but I’m not arguing about that kind of fashion with a kid. Times like this I wish we had school uniforms or at least clothing guidelines in schools here. It would save some unnecessary arguments,at the same time I’m glad schools here are having the mindset that clothes doesn’t matter.
&
appreciate the support I can always count on my TS fam. 
and 
I feel like that too sometimes! 
all is ok, I was just being a sensitive baby this morning