Great to see you @Bootz. Wow what an adventurous life you have lead this year.
Great to know you are safe now.
I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 77
Starts the morning with another tweenie argument, this time she was mad at me because she didn’t want to take her meds. I’m not the one who decided that she needs them, and I’m not the one to tell her she can skip them either. I just said that I’m not the doctor here, and that the medicin or no medicin argument ain’t something I’m going to fight about. Neither me or her father or her have the knowledge to get her on or off her medication. And until the doctor says something else she’s going to take them. Because there’s somethings in life you have to do without argumentation. Like brushing your teeth, taking medication or going to school. And I’m not arguing with a kid about those things. So now I’m the mean one once again.
I’m starting to get a bit tired of this, and I can’t get out of the feeling that we had a really good life before she moved back to here. Can’t talk with my husband about it either because I was the major force behind getting her back here, and I kinda knew it was going to be hard. Also I don’t want her to be anywhere else either, but today I’m just tired of all the conflicts.
Going to eat some late breakfast and take a walk. Happy Sunday everyone 
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Its Sunday I didn’t feed the Gremlin after 12… Yahooo not slept since Thursday 
… But you know what I’m feeling happy I’m here, I’m doing it, I’m getting through a day clean.
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Checking in - Day 27. Still marching along the sober path and facing some trials and tribulations along the way. Noticing my brain trying to get me to eat more, spend more, or do anything MORE to find a rush or an escape. Keeping that in check. I am however capitalizing on more exercise and more resting when life feels too heavy. Still super exhausted… not sure if it’s depression, my body continuing to heal, or both 
Happy Sober Sunday everyone 
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I can identify with that.
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I guess you should think about what doesn’t work with your current approach and how to make it work. What have or haven’t you done to avoid to drink that one beer. If you don’t change your attitude your life won’t change either. Something has to be done, and it’s usually starts with honestly facing the person you really are. For e.g. would you admit to yourself if your main feeling about sober life would be fear or feeling weak? Would you admit if these would be your current feelings while being not sober as well?
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Thank you all for the love and support it’s appreciated more than you know. I think we are all just stressed. I know this is a just a bump in the road and will get better. I’m gonna take the day off today and maybe get a pedicure and just relax. Much love 
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Making last arrangements…
You say your done and you’ve have that drink… Have you ever thought how triggering it is for others as you just say you had a beer with lunch… You do accept your an addict?
Because even if you only need that one beer on one day I feel your not wanting to admit something…
Because some of us struggle daily not to pick up we fight that little thing inside that tells us we need that poison to function…
Dig deep and find that fight you want to make the change, don’t brush it off as that what this feels like when you say making last arrangements over and over.
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Thanks so much @anon60334405, @CapriciousCapricorn and @Dragonflygirl82! Sorry I got super busy yesterday and haven’t signed on in a while so I just saw your posts.
@Dragonflygirl82 I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time with the business and the family. It sounds like you have the right attitude to fix it though and I hope you have a great day off today.
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Checking in sober. 
and that’s how I’ll stay today:blush:
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Day 50. I have a bit of a head cold, so I spent most of yesterday sleeping and didn’t get a chance to check in yesterday. I can’t believe it’s been six weeks since my last drink. This is definitely one of the most difficult/most rewarding things I’ve ever done. Mostly, right now, I just wish that I hadn’t started up drinking again back in 2011. I’d been sober for seven years at that point, and I suppose I’d let myself be lulled into a belief that my drinking had never been so bad, and that I’d be able to handle it. Instead, I took a nine year detour into blackout drinking, a nightmare relationship, and becoming a void of selfishness and negativity. I guess I’m writing all of this down because I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget that my drinking has never been healthy for me, and has always done more harm than good, first to myself, but also to those around me.
@Dragonflygirl82, congratulations on 9 months! That’s so awesome! I’m sorry you’re struggling so much with your husband and daughter at the moment. My therapist told me something last week that reminds me of your situation. “When you change something about yourself, the people around you will also change in response. Sometimes those changes will mean that your relationships get better, and sometimes they will get worse. When someone has relied on you to be the endlessly giving person who supports them no matter what, they can get upset when you start erecting boundaries, when you’re not so focused on their problems, wants, and needs.” I needed to hear this because I’ve been incredibly codependent all of my life, often caring more about the people I love than myself. It’s okay to love yourself and take good care of you, first.
Okay, now that I’ve written this novella, it’s time for more decongestants and more sleep. Happy sober Sunday, everyone!
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Well first of all you aren’t supposed to post here when you have been drinking.
“So sorry. One beer. What you gonna do.” Do you know how that phrase can be triggering and harmful to a lot of people here? Do you know how many people are trying to avoid that first and only one beer that really count because when we have one it can mean so much harm to ourself and our family?
I’d like to give you advices but it seems you just not take any of them or at the very least you do not take any of them into action.
Seriously as I am alone at home all day until late night today for the first time in weeks because my girlfriend is doing an overtime day, I felt afraid this morning because that’s usually the kind of day I would be drinking early in the day so I could try to sober up for the night before she sees me in bed or I’d just be faking that I’m sleeping but actually drunk.
Well guess what, I came on this forum to make sure I do NOT drink, to see my folks who are working their asses to keep their sobriety and by doing so changing or even saving their lives.
Yes there are days where they slip too. Everybody does. But do they come here every day to normalize the fact that they are drinking and that it is ok? No. They don’t because they respect the people on here and they also respect the rule. But most of all, they know that it’s all bullshit. If they are here it’s because they know drinking is a problem for them and the people here.
So no, one beer is not ok to be on here and posting like if it was alright right after having drinking it.
Sing up to the optional section that’s called “Seeking help” in which you can post if you’re under the influence.
Because right now as I see it you are the representation of the part of me that want to drink “just one beer” that I keep fighting every day, but you are in my safe place which is supposed to be a sober place for people in recovery.
Come back when you’ll be in recovery.
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Congratulations on 50 days! Don’t think about ‘what if’. I’m sure that period has taught you a lot, and what is life if not learning?! Get better and don’t forget to celebrate your milestone!
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Happy Sober Sunday, all! Today is my sober Day 313 (a palindrome!)
Congrats @TSan on 50 Days!! And thank you for your “novella”. We all need to keep reminding ourselves of how bad our low was so we don’t fall victim to romanticizing or minimizing our drinking/using. I went back out after 4 years sober, and with 1 year on my horizon I now am catching myself thinking 1 drink won’t be bad or maybe I’m “cured” 
We must lead a life of eternal vigilance. Keep your novella close to your heart!
Hang in there, @Charlie_C! You’re in the right place and we’re here for you!
CONGRATS, @Dragonflygirl82 on 
Months 
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Day 7. One week. I have so many assignments due today, and yet I will sit in on three meetings today. My brain is all over the place.
My second interview subject backed out and I find myself on my due date with no expat living in the U.S. to interview for my paper. 
See, life happens. My quote today on the app is, “Happiness is not an accident, nor something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.” Yes!
I will design a happy and productive life that I do not need to run away from. I will face every obstacle, bad thought, nagging doubt, and discomfort. It may be exhausting - but people, if I slip, I don’t think I have another quit left in me. I have been battling this bull for over 1/2 of my 51 years. You help. Quit Lit helps. Recovery Dharma helps.
@Dragonflygirl82 - Courtney, I worked with my parents for 3 years. I got out of the Air Force to “run” their company and they ran me. It was a tough time. We found things not to like about each other that we’d never considered. I wish you peace. In the end, 9/11 crushed our business and gave us all the out I think we wanted. I hope you can make it work. If for nothing else, for the ice cream. 
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Checking in on day 312.
I forced myself to do a check in and face the thoughts running throug my head.
I am craving big big big time right now!
No real reason I think. Just wanna get buzed…
I imagned myself opening a bottle of cheap white wine and drinking all of it.
Don’t know for how long I’d feel ‘good’ or ‘better’. But it wouldn’t be for very long.
Especially tomorrow morning at 5am when my alarm goes for work.
I can’t drink. I don’t really want to. It’s just a bad thought.
I’m gonna get some sparkling water or something else to get hydrated. Maybe those feelings will go away.
Anyway. Have good sunday!
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Hope you are feeling better, Menno? Glad to hear the painting progress comes along. Please post pics of your soup (and triggering cheese board ) on the foodies thread! 
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Day 451
This last week has been rough. Ive been really thinking about drinking lately and i dont know why. Havent had much to keep myself busy is my guess, my mind is always my worse enemy. I have people inviting me back to our meetings but i just think of a excuse not to go. Before all of this bs covid stuff happened i was on a good schedule with meetings and going to our local fitness center but since its all back open i cant get back on track. Anyway im just in a funk still hopefully be out of it soon.
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Hmm, again, hmmm. I don’t get it. Even though it doesn’t trigger me a bit as what you are doing is your business and what I do is my mine.
Anyways, sounds a little bit like a small kid: and you know what, iiiiiii can drink, and I don’t even regret it. 
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