Yeah you have a diese called alcoholism…
You dont want to accept it…
You can go analyse all you like but if you can’t walk away from that one drink your an addict…
Just as much as I can’t pick up one pain med, smoke one joint of weed or even drink a glass of whiskey because I accept I’m an addict…
You can go without a drink prove it because my counter is over 100 days now because I accept I have an issue.
You think you can succeed I’m sorry but you can’t with the attitude of I had a drink at lunch on a talking sober app.
I’ll just start the sober clock again.
I was going to say something similar. @zzz I don’t know how old you are or where you are in your journey. I do know that I have been fighting “having just ONE beer” for over two decades. I don’t think your “Ha Has” are cute or funny.
If you truly want to quit and want help, we are absolutely here for you. This spoiled brat sh*t you are pulling, though? Get over yourself. Or like Wcan said, start a thread of your own, instead of coming in here raining on this one.
Thank you, zzz, but I am referring to your “Day 1 guy” post - posted less than an hour ago.
I really do suggest, as others have, that you start your own thread where you can continue to dialogue with others about the approach you are taking to your sobriety.
This thread is for people to check in to maintain focus, not to be challenged.
Recently started unsubscribing from junk emails to make my inbox more manageable and it has meant I am reading what is left, cos I’m actually interested in it. I had an email from Commune (their weekly ‘Commusings’) with an article on ‘Urgent Kindness’ which I absolutely love. Wasn’t really sure where to post this, so leaving it here, I think lots of you will appreciate it
It is about this moment in time, the political and historical context we find ourselves in (particularly in relation to the US, but I think it’s relevant more broadly). I think there is a lot in it we can apply to our personal situations too, this bit particularly felt like it could be perfectly applied to recovery:
"We know that the destruction of the old is a precondition for any healing. And if we are to cultivate a culture of true respect, we begin with the most personal, intimate details: the study of the self. This is when we are tasked to create a sense of solidarity within, where all bravery is born, the kind of courage that yields the patient listening we desperately need now.
“The moment we begin to go deeper within, the first and most perfect casualties are the attachments, the filters, the dualities. The beliefs that keep us separate. The perpetuation of the hierarchical narrative. When we lose those, we begin to sense… an experiential unity, where we do our best to take care of each other, all across the interwebs, offering comfort. Presence. And for ourselves, self-empathy.”
@Dragonflygirl82 Congrats on 9 months I really hope things improve with working with your family @TSan Congrats on 50 days!
65 days.
Got my walks in today. Did a little bit of decluttering but ran out of motivation. Will just do a bit each day I think. Did some tests as part of a job application. Meeting my recovery worker tomorrow afternoon to make another phone call, should also receive a letter from the solicitor who’s overseeing the sale of my flat. The plantar fasciitis is now in both of my feet, my doctor should be calling me tomorrow to discuss.
Can’t believe it’s the end of another weekend. I hope it’s been relaxing for all of you
What a roller coaster few days as my physical and spiritual wellness,
or lack of, had my mental wellness in full panic mode. I’ve been thinking alot about what I share lately(for months) whether it be on here, at meetings, with counsellors. Is it too much, am I making it all about me. Will it help others, will it help me. Do I have to give a fuck? Yes I guess I do otherwise I might develop another case of the fuck it’s and that leads to scary places for this addict and alcoholic. I feel a touch stuck. I don’t have a sponsor since moving. Can’t go back to work. Scared to apply to school or work, partly due to covid, partly a fear of change? Is it still paws related approching ten months clean(possibly)excuses? So many factors, it’s a delicate balance and can become so overwhelming. I know I can fight through it one day at a time.
Literally fell off my toilet and crawled back to bed the other day with a sore back and that started alot of thoughts churning. Remembering being on bathroom floors hugging the porclean or passed out. Thinking about the self inflicted damage from poor work habits and addiction weakening my back.
Awww poor me.
So now to get it out I vented here. Some of this I shared at a meeting last night, however I can compile more in a message that I’m trying and failing to not over-edit in an attempt to keep it real and not all fucking polished Lol
I prayed today, did my gratitude. Video chatted with Mom. Read my daily readings. Ate some food and watching some sports.
Business and regular in person NA meeting tonight. We’ll see what I share there🤔
I’m thinking just listen you might learn something you over ranting, know it all…ahhhh love yourself Brian.
Thanks to all of you here at TS .
Keep kicking ass. &
My boyfriends mom died today from covid. Today also would have been his dads 81st birthday. Both of his parents lost in 2 weeks due to covid. His mom never knew her husband passed as she was sedated the entire time and they kept her sedated as she passed - probably a good thing she didn’t know. Their wedding anniversary is Tuesday, some 60+ years I think. Just sad. Trying to stay strong and work through all of this.
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry for you and your boyfriend. Sending big hugs for you two…
They’re together in peace now. I am choked up thinking of you and the family.
I really hope things improve with working with your family 
&
🤦 Ill be checking in in the morning, on my day 1 yet again. Good night TS. 
