Day 139.
A good day, though some unexpected tightness in my chest…
This time of year brings so many mixed emotions already. Mostly it’s the expectations of the season compared to the reality. Really though, is anyone’s family, or life, a Norman Rockwell commemorative Christmas plate? Then you add my first sober Christmas and a tragic pandemic into the mix, and we’re in uncharted territory…
There are strong advantages to this circumstance (edit: no benefits to tragedy, to be sure): I don’t have to challenge my sobriety with endless functions – all the “obligatory revelry” of the season. I’ve had 4 and half months of bringing everything in my life – work, friendships, dreams and plans and goals – into alignment with my sober self. And now that includes christmas season during a pandemic.
Just another first in a year full of firsts. I raise my mug of tea to you all!
You put it so well! Thank you. I’m not sure if this is how it is for you, but sometimes when the tears spring up for me, I can almost tell if they’re still from “the backlog” - so many tears that just didn’t get their turn as I refilled my glass instead!
It’s a relief, actually, to feel sadness, and then to feel it lift too - entirely without the help of anything in a glass…
Thanks for the share.
Day 1~Havent posted in a while. Got to Day 23 and thought “I’ve got this” and then something got me upset and I turned to the bottle. UGH!!! I go another week sober and then did it again. I need to be more disciplined in my sobriety accountability. Alcohol serves absolutely NO positive purpose in my life. Its pure poison. I see so many of you who have stayed diligent in your sobriety and your days sober have really added up! Congrats!!! I want, need, and will be there too. You are all so inspiring. Stay strong and keep it going! I’m jumping on the sober train!
My one month cereal triumph came and went this last week but I was mostly too sick to care. I don’t have covid just a nasty cold and an uptick in some old pain issues that have flared up with the return of cold weather. And for these and other reasons I have mostly stayed to myself this week–with this forum and with friends and family.
But I suppose I go off the deep end I should reenter my life, so I’m jumping back into the TS life, by posting my cereal triumph
Day 97
Getting closer to triple digits😊. Back to face to face classes after a week online teaching at uni due to a cluster of Covid cases. Am a little concerned it is not two weeks, but when I am teaching at home I really get lazy. I wish I had more self-motivation.
Oh Brooke I am so sorry for your devastating news. Your poor boyfriend and you. I’m just so saddened by what you’ve told us. You and your boyfriend will be in my prayers. I’m so sorry.
Great way of putting it. You always have a great way with words. But out of all the years to be sober this shit show of a year seems to be helping me. I mean with with all the shit going on I cannot imagine being drunk this year. Because I would have been drunk ALL year. It’s unfortunate that some of us won’t have family gatherings or Christmas parties or vacations where drinking happens, has kind of been a benefit to my sobriety. This pandemic is the worst thing in the world. I cannot imagine all the suffering. But I’ve been fortunate to be able to hunker in since March and haven’t been tempted with a wine list or cocktails before going out to dinner. We use to eat out 3 or 4 times a week. Looking forward to our, there’s many of us on here, first sober Christmas. No hangovers and I won’t pass out watching my favorite Christmas movies.
I raise my glass or bottle of sparkling water to all of us working so hard at this.
My heart goes out to you and your boyfriend, my condolences on the passing of his mother as well. They are together again, may they Rest in Everlasting Peace.
Blessings and sobriety
Day 276~ I have to say thank you to everyone that reached out or had a kind word or advice to give me. It really helped me through the past couple days. This weekend was miserable. I’m completely drained. Things have calmed down a bit at home as they often do but I’m just still really hurt and harboring some ill feelings which I know I need to express. The problem is they won’t be received well and I’m dreading it. After last nights debacle things got even worse with my daughter. She basically said I was a psycho and I’m the worse boss she ever worked for. And if you knew her you’d know the girls had a million jobs… so it’s a bigger insult than you’d think. I know she was just trying to hurt me and hit below the belt… and she succeeded. It just sucks. I hate arguing and fighting with people especially my family. I decided today I would take a day off from the shop and give us each some needed space. I went and had lunch and got a manicure. It was a nice break but honestly kept thinking to myself how I wish my daughter was there with me. That’s usually something her and I would do. It’s sad because this could have all been cleared up if I just got an apology but like some others in this family… saying sorry isn’t in their vocabulary. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’m ready to start fresh.
With a healthy dose of aversion I’m going back to work. It’s OK. I’m sober and clean. Now I gotta run. Thanks you for being here. It helps. Have a good week all! Love from Amsterdam where Luna gets to sleep in.
poison. I see so many of you who have stayed diligent in your sobriety and your days sober have really added up! Congrats!!! 
I want, need, and will be there too. You are all so inspiring. Stay strong 
and keep it going! I’m jumping on the sober train! 
It really helped me through the past couple days. This weekend was miserable. I’m completely drained. Things have calmed down a bit at home as they often do but I’m just still really hurt and harboring some ill feelings which I know I need to express. The problem is they won’t be received well and I’m dreading it. After last nights debacle things got even worse with my daughter. She basically said I was a psycho and I’m the worse boss she ever worked for. And if you knew her you’d know the girls had a million jobs… so it’s a bigger insult than you’d think. 
I know she was just trying to hurt me and hit below the belt… and she succeeded. It just sucks. I hate arguing and fighting with people especially my family. I decided today I would take a day off from the shop and give us each some needed space. I went and had lunch and got a manicure. It was a nice break but honestly kept thinking to myself how I wish my daughter was there with me. That’s usually something her and I would do. It’s sad because this could have all been cleared up if I just got an apology but like some others in this family… saying sorry isn’t in their vocabulary. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’m ready to start fresh.
