D 897
Just when I was feeling good about my back again (after that slight aggravation of it at the end of Sept), it’s gone out again. Worse this time. I didn’t even do anything. My last 3 workout cycles have been 6 weeks on, 1 week off. Just wrapped up week 6, and I finally felt I was ready to get back to 8-12 week cycles…lifts were going great, run times were actually moving back in the right direction. I’ve actually been really pleased with my fitness for once, I’m usually very self-critical. I’ve been in some of my best form in years. Today was going to be the start of week 7. Guess not.
Yesterday morning, woke up fine, felt great actually. Usually I stretch first thing. Scheduled day off from working out. Because of the time, I decided to take Chief to play ball first and then stretch when I got home. Pretty minimal activity needed on my part – I use one of those ball chuckers, so no bending over and it’s pretty much no effort to throw it. But, about a third of the way through, I knew I had done something. Progressively worse since. Have the dreaded lateral shift since everything on the left side of my lower back and pelvis is locked up. The muscles are so spasmed that I can’t even get the lacrosse ball in there on the SI joint, which is one thing that helps.
Its just so frustrating. I’ve moaned about it here before, but its been 3 years dealing with this and I feel like its taken such a toll on my mental health and quality of life. I spend HOURS tending to it each day, preventative stuff. Chronic injury really weighs on you after a while and the thought of having to live my life with this is daunting, especially if its progressive. The worst thing is that I get so irritable when its bothering me. I hate being that person. It already took away my speed, my ability to play soccer (my passion). I feel it just takes another chunk off me every time. I’m only 32, and my health is literally the number 1 priority in my life - I make NO sacrifices at the expense of my health. And yet, this is the hand I’ve been dealt.
Unrelated visit to my doctor next week, may ask for a new MRI since its been 2 years. Maybe focus more on the SI area instead of the lumbar, idk, I’m just trying anything.
I’ve taken a full month off from exercise before, once, but it didnt solve it. Its always just been a week or two otherwise. Part of me wants to try 3 months off, which is scary but who knows. Might be a good time since the gyms will probably be closing soon anyhow, running in the frigid cold sucks, and in the winter you can cover up so losing a bit of form isn’t as obvious. It’ll just be hard to do it, psychologically. I rely on my fitness stuff in so many ways, so going 3 months is really scary for me.
Anyhow. Could be worse. Just tired of it constantly beating me down, mentally and physically. I’m still relatively young, and like I said, I cut no corners on my physical health - so why am I unable to get back to normal, full health? Why can’t I get better?
’s last radiation appointment.
