Checking in Daily to Maintain Focus #22

[CATMANCAM]

@anon28001181 & @Misokatsu we all hit 100 Congrats to you both
@Ceeds Happy 30th Birthday to you! So pleased to hear you are happy now, congrats on your sobriety too, a great way to start a new decade
@Nicole_Brame_Weaver Congrats on 90!
@Clarity your post just really made me smile, love the sound of your ‘who dis???’ morning

Thank you to everyone who congratulated me on the 100 days of no alcohol, it is the longest I’ve ever been without it. I had a stupid dream that I’d drank one drink, and in the dream I remember thinking ‘ah it’s only one, might as well finish it’, and then, still in the dream, I woke up and felt mortified to tears that I’d lost my streak, so it was a great start to the day to actually wake up on day 101

69 days no cocaine.

The pain saga continues, but I did manage to get out for 2 slow walks today, and I feel so much better for it, it doesn’t matter how much it hurts, the benefits to my mental health are so worthwhile, so going to keep pushing through it.

I skipped on my Tuesday support group, and almost didn’t go to today’s group either, but I did, and I’m so glad about it, this one is every fortnight and a different group to the weekly Tuesday one, and I prefer this one, it’s also long term as opposed to only coinciding with the DBT course. I shared about getting the interviews and received much support. I hope I can share good news with them in 2 weeks time

I think depression is trying to destroy the hard work I’ve been doing on my development. It wants me to just stay in bed and not even read or listen to audiobooks, eat junk, and not do any exercise or access the support groups, just isolate and be miserable and hate myself. Now that I’ve recognised that I feel determined to fight to stay ahead of it.

I can’t believe we are nearing another weekend!

[anon79808082]

I definitely did that too! I still will not be rid of my M&M’s, lol

[FeelingBetter]

Awesome! Hoping to find that benefit someday
Dove chocolates, tho…

[Dazercat]

I love M&Ms. I got a good bag of peanuts and raisins and M&Ms I’m working on. I keep loosing weight. and I’m not trying to anymore. Congrats on your weight loss.

Fun story about M&Ms. My sister, RIP, even during our pot smoking drinking days a million years ago, could make one of those small bags of M&Ms last 2 or 3 days. She’d take out the bag. Eat one and put the bag back. My bag of M&Ms was gone in like 5 minutes. WTAF who does that?

[Dan531]

Congratulating you and @anon28001181 on 100 well fought days! Amazing job both of you, well done!

[Dan531]

Congratulations on 90 days! Amazing

[Mno]

Most things are out of our control Danni. Including our emotions. We’ve drowned that reality in booze and drugs and now we’re sober we have to face the truth. Scary shit. It’s OK not be OK all the time too. A spinal tab is scary shit too. All I can say is I had a few, they weren’t fun but they didn’t kill or maim me and they weren’t too much of torture. You will have this. Hugs.

[Dan531]

Happy birthday @Ceeds. i hope your day is wonderful. Cheers to starting your 30’s in sobriety (wish i would’ve).

[Mno]

@Tommo @Dazercat. Get it out. Spill your guts. It helps.You. Us. Sharing is a huge part of recovery. I’m a bit of a narcissist I guess, because I’ve shared both my good and bad times here, really not thinking how it would go down or if I’d help anybody with it. I did it for me. And still by enlarge I do. I was a bit surprised to get some very positive feedback at times. It seems I actually help some folks with my little stories about my life. Which makes me happy in turn.
It’s our shared experiences that bond us. It’s sharing our experiences, our emotions, our feelings, our thoughts that mkes it possible to build and nurture that bond, the bond that helps us all to live better sober and clean lives and become better people in the process. Thanks for being here and sharing friends. It helps so much. Love.

[EarnIt]

11 Paul. Heading to 12.

[Dolse71]

That’s bordering on genius

[Mbwoman]

@WCan I shouldn’t laugh, because our issues, problems, etc. aren’t funny. But you stating having drinking thoughts pissed you off resonated with me, and made me chuckle. I mean, who, other than an alcoholic would even have to say that!!! I have said those exact words to my counselor. She is recovering so gets it. But nobody in my close circle does. Because I’m the only one of my kind in my family. My SO is a teetotaler and has been his whole life. Maybe I’ll announce that over Thanksgiving dinner as a conversation starter…“Hey, everyone, doesn’t it piss you off when out of nowhere you get drinking thoughts? Please pass the gravy”. I can only imagine the blank stares I would get. Maybe I’ll do that…just for fun.

[Olivia]

Vent! Vent anyway you can that doesn’t violate your sobriety or the safety of others. You have so much shit on your plate right now that obviously you’re on the edge. I know saying that won’t help much right now but know this that you’re not a loser for struggling! This is a really hard place to learn new ways of dealing with anger, fear and propelling shit. Like Mike said, you can do this and I’m rooting for you!!!

Thank you for telling us, for letting us know. We’re here for you pet Every minute you plough thru will make you stronger eventually.

[MrsOdh]

I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 81.

Water leak in the kitchen, the entire floor and all the tiles was filled with water, from a pipe under the floor when I woke up this morning.

Called the insurance company, found the leak myself and fixed it temporarily. Now waiting for the insurance people to come and look at it at Monday.

Tweenie is causing havoc, skipping school, lies, steal things and uses her phone in inappropriate ways. That kid is going to give me grey hair. We had another serious talk yesterday and at the moment I’m more like a probation officer than some kind of parent.

And I had an urge to drink and once again go back to my drug of choice multiple times the last days.

Tonight my husband was going to sit on our bed after having a bad day at work. I heard a loud noise and the bedframe broke. It just splitted in two parts. And shortly after that my soon to be 18 y/o called and said that she and her boyfriend is coming to stay for at least a month. They fight constantly over at his place so I guess it’s better for them to be here.

Besides that the tweenie and our 10 y/o is constantly fighting, they can’t even be in the same room without being mean to each other or almost physically fighting.

I seriously don’t know how much longer this is going to last. I just can’t take it anymore. There’s not even time to breath before something happens that just flips everything over, and over, and over.

My friend tried to cheer me up and sent a video where Sadhguru talks about the goid things of being sober and have a clear mind. Unfortunately all it did was making me feel bad because I once again is on the edge of breaking my sobriety.

It sucks.

I hope y’all are having a much better day than me. And that your Thanksgiving will be lovely.

[apes2020]

this came on my TV now and I thought of you

[anon12657779]

This is solid growth bro! You’ve recognised a problem, you’re setting yourself up to deal with it. Without hitting the bottle.
Most excellent dude!

[anon12657779]

Even now Tom, two years down the line. I’m slowly working on it, but I’m sober so … meh!

[anon12657779]

I hear you Eric. We are human, and we would be wrong to not feel for the unfortunate mate.
Sometimes it’s just good to know that others care as well!

[apes2020]

so yesterday our building had a fire evacuation and all the tenants we gathered down stairs. I bumped into someone I know that is a tenant and he was cooked…my instincts were to walk away and don’t continue conversation while the sexy fire men cleared the fire alarm situ… But my monkey mind kept talking to him and before I knew it I was walking out of there apartment with gear… He did offer so I just caved Coz id been asleep all week n felt like death warmed up n I didn’t even think twice about letting him give it to me… This was 1pm yesterday. I went through it In no time. Then went back n bought more… That’s all gone now. It’s 7am… I’m going to try sleep now and hopefully my Monday in 3 days, il begin to feel human and begin to find the strength in Me that I know is there… I think it took a vacation with out me lol . It better be back by Monday or il be filing a missing strength report to the police lol … FML. I’m so over this bullshit. I wish there was a magic medicine for this cunt of an addiction. I actually wish there was a magic medicine that wipes our memories of choice lol… Now that would be something wouldn’t it lol… … I don’t even have any benzos left now for today to rest uhhhhhh I just only realised. FML

[Rockstar24777]

Awesome thanks Geoff I appreciate the support!!!