Day 172 clean and sober today. Great job @zzz for pouring out the booze that’s awesome, proud of you!!! I got a call yesterday about surgery and they said that they had the 10th available which is next Thursday. The next opening would be in January. I went ahead and took the 10th to just get it over with. I know it’s going to be ok but there’s part of me that feels like this is going to be the end for me idk it’s just weird. I hope everyone has a great day today love guys!!! 
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Checking in sober, Day 329 (47 Weeks!).
The sun is out after days of clouds and rain so I hope to get in a long walk or hike today. Gotta get out doors for some air and exercise. Wishing everyone a great day!!
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It’s just after midnight, so have made it to the end of day 122. Went for a wander tonight. Lovely to be in the night air. Sober and sleepy…goodnight everyone 
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Oh wow, man, I said the exact same thing yesterday with my outpatient counsellor. We used a lot the comparison between sprinting and endurance… I’ve been doing stretches of sprint all my life and never really passed those 6 months line either, and even after a couple of weeks, months, I just feel that I can’t longer keep going - because I don’t know that i can.
We’re use to those stretches of up and down, but not much of those plateaus. Changing, in those up-down times, we’re use to it. So changing our habits when we’re getting out of the hole is nothing new to us - we all know the drill. But real change is to be met in discomfort. This is right where you are right now. You know the path of benders and the path to get you out of it; but you don’t know much further after. I bet you see that pre-discovered road almost ending, like when you walk in a forest and see that, soon, the road that you’ve been following will end. Thing is, it’s true: there is no more road. Everyday pass the 6 months mark will be another day walking into discovering foreign places.
It’s no more about fighting the strange world outside of you, it’s about knowing the strangeness was always inside you.
Let’s put one foot in front of the other.
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I’m sorry you have to deal with all that man, but It’s great they were able to get you in so soon. I’m sure everything will go just fine. Keep us posted 
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Day 61. Thanks for all the wishes on my days yesterday, how lovely to read them. Such great support here. Today the snow storm is here; winds were wicked last night and this morning, covering windows with snow so you can’t see out. Glad I opted to keep little guy at home. I just got a great deal on a TV so we’ve started a tidy in the basement which was previously a bit of a messy storage area but now it’s all set for cozy movie-watching. Bought the newer Grinch for little man yesterday in anticipation of storm, so I am in basement with him working from home while he is watching it. So cozy. Normally I’d be committed to driving through the poor weather so I am grateful to have opportunity to work from home today. Maybe we’ll sneak out if wind dies down to play in snow. But currently it’s the “peel your face off” type snow blowing sideways 
Oh, and I even did my first reading in a recovery meeting this morning! Have a lovely day, all 
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168 days. Slept a bit better last night but still found myself reaching out for my man. Hopefully today goes smoothly 
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Sorry you are “broke” but glad it kept you from the poison!!! You got it!
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Haha right?! If I had money I honestly dont know what would’ve happened last night. So im grateful for being broke. I dont mind being broke as long as I have food (which I do). Thanks for your encouragement. Today is a new day! Hoping for a more chill day today 
hope your day is good as well!
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Day 1
Yay!!! Made it to day 1! Honestly though if I would’ve had money, I dont know how last night would’ve played out. But Creator was watching over me and had different plans for me (to stay clean and sober). I had a better sleep last night and now I am at work. I definitly have a “food hangover” from eating SO much last night to distract me from using. Need to definitly find healthier solutions. Normally I would work out but I have no equipment at home and the gym in my building is closed due to covid. Anyway, I have 1 more day of work after today then I’m going to be productive on my days off… Christmas shopping, baking, grocery shopping, and maybe a workout or two. And of course checking in/reading on TS.
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Thanks man. You are killing it yourself. Good luck on your surgery,I’m glad you chose the one closer. Keep your head up this to shall pass, good things coming
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Can you walk? I always try to get my energy and mind up for working out. I hate working out. And it use to bug me that I didn’t “work out” But I love to walk. Power walk. Plug in my ear buds or whatever and power walk to some hard rock or some gangsta rap or whatever you like. Sometimes I walk for an hour. Or more. And after I always feel really good. Don’t forget to stretch after.
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Woot woot!
Try some no equipment videos on YouTube! They are free! And helped me a lot after my gym closed! Or there’s tons of “programs” on pinterest etc… Or just something like this body weight one -https://www.purewow.com/wellness/no-equipment-workout
Both these sites have YouTube channels too:
Blender fitness https://www.fitnessblender.com/videos
Melissa bender fitness
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Well done on double digits, seems a long way away at the start so it feels great doesn’t it.
@Conor689908 proud of you for being open… I’m glad you spoke to your doctor again :)…
Day 122…
I have a new addictions well its not new I’m just admitting I have a fucking problem with tiktok… I end up watching fucking hours of vids it has become an issue!
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@Olivia congrats on 60 
@anon28001181 I have the same days with alcohol, a bit behind for cocaine, but my headspace is very much the same at the moment, out of nowhere I’m suddenly really struggling, hoping we both break through the other side of this wall 
@Salty Congrats and stay safe out there, I’m in the UK and to me that sounds like a whole lot of snow 
@Hazy congrats on your sober week
@Jamie3 congrats on double digits
@Joby congrats on 4 months
@RetainKing good luck in court
@Andrea4971 welcome and congrats on your 16 days
@Butterflymoonwoman well done getting that first 24 hours behind you, keep going it gets better
81 days.
I did the interview. I think it definitely could have gone a lot worse, but I’m still not confident at all, not that I ever am I also found out that if I am shortlisted, I have to have a 2nd interview on Friday, which would be a VBI Values Based Interview, don’t think I’ve had one of those before.
It’s been a difficult day again. I’ve definitely hit a wall. I’ve been craving a cigarette, a drink, cocaine, you name it. I won’t, but it doesn’t stop the wanting/craving, and it truly does suck. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life at the moment and I’m conscious that that is always a trigger for me and my mental illnesses, there is nothing I can do about any of those uncertainties, but I can control my actions, so I’m doing my meditations, atleast 3 times a day, I’m sticking to my diet as best I can, and I’m getting atleast 1 walk in per day. I feel there is something missing though, the inner peace of earlier sobriety, the calm I felt after finally breaking free, isn’t there at the moment. I’m sure it will return, so I’m focusing on not catastrophizing, but I’m also terrified because I relapsed on day 88 last time, and the fear is suffocating.
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Fabulous picture! Love the contrast and the colors!
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yeah reward yourself for nothing bc that’s exactly all we have to do, doesn’t matter what we think or how we feel. The only thing we don’t have to do is pick one up,simple, don’t pick one up nothing happens, great reward. 
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