So happy to see you back here! Get some good rest!
2 years and 2 months today. Feeling good despite all the loss and chaos.
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Donāt listen to the what-ifs. What-ifs are not real!
I have tattoos as a reminder. Just think of the hassle and money involved in removing them if I were to pick up again.
Use these earrings in the same way, to be positive and say āI earned these, thatās why they are beautifulā
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@Hotic yay! Congratulations!
@Sanuk Same, get cravings AFTER a time when I was strong. Like I used up all my will-power, or the act of resisting just brought drinking to the forefront of my mind again.
@CATMANCAM i understand, iāve relapsed twice between 4 and 5 months, it is definitely playing on my mind. Gotta remember itās just a number and keep plugging away.
@Conor689908 glad to hear it, and nice the dr is doing more than just doling out meds.
@Cler Is that a pic from the walk? Amazing!
@Rockstar24777 Fingers crossed for the surgery!
@Andrea4971 welcome! Keep reading and posting. Look forward to hearing more from you.
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Day 23. I have no energy. I havenāt had any energy. I am sleepy and feel ready for bed at 5p but get a second wind around 9p.
I havenāt been very good about my supplements. Lacking the B Complex isnāt doing me any favors. I will put that on my schedule - the one I have planned to do for the last week. If I get nothing else done today, dammit, I am going to do that schedule!
I did check some things off of my mini-list today, so thatās good. I also made my meeting this morning and will make the womenās meeting tonight. The evening meetings are probably where that second wind comes from.
I am sober. The rest will fall into place.
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Day 11 and going strong. 
Spending the evening buying new pants for my son who always manages to rip the knees out of them.
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Day 605. Hanging out with the little guy, watching old samurai dramas. The sun is shining, and while I can complain, I am choosing not to! Best to everybody 
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8 days sober,to bed to bed, Iām a sleepy head!
ā¦Iām erratic with the children after school, which Iām working on,yet weāve been spending the evenings this week playing board gamesā¦itās been nice,full attention I try to give them when Iām not studyingā¦even if itās shouting at them not to be mean to each other!..the relentless horribleness they say to each other,grrrrā¦Iāll find a through thisā¦I think I should be a lot calmer, and maybe smile and laugh more, might put them at ease more.
Grateful I am free from alcohol 
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Thank you Fleur!!!
@Misokatsu I live in a beautiful part of the world. Not all of the paddocks have been filled with houses yet! Walking at night is part of my recovery, it is so peaceful 
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18 days
Read this quote: āIf life isnāt going right, go leftā
On a Dove chocolate wrapper
What can I say?! Stressful day! Lol
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I gave this a read. Thank you.
I do like the idea that self doubt is good to a point. It does cause me to be more cautious and prepared. It also allows me to be more introspective, instead of being overly confident and never questioning myself.
I listened to a talk recently with a similar view, but geared towards anxiety. I donāt know about chronic anxiety, but I do get anxiety around certain tasks or especially around projects at work. The idea was that the anxiety isnāt all bad. It lets me know that something is important and needs to be addressed as such. But after the initial recognition, the anxiety isnāt all that useful, especially if it affects my ability to perform said task. Thatās where Iāve messed up before. Iād allow the anxiety to discourage me to the point where Iād walk away from things that I deemed too stressful.
Seems like the same concept. Itās useful until itās not and begins impacting actual progress.
I also really like the idea speaking to myself in the second or third person to gain some objectivity. Iām going to try that out.
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Progress hasnāt been smooth or pretty the last few days, but itās still progress.
I appreciate everyoneās support here.
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DaY 4 cHeCk In! This time around Iām finding these first few days more manageable than other times in the past. Maybe I just know how to cope now. My body is feeling pretty much back to normal after my relapse, which is a really, really good feeling. Today I worked (finished a big task!), made some art, baked bread (I am a novice and this loaf came out great), practices yoga, made dinner with my boyfriend, and watched about five episodes of Nurse Jackie. My new favorite show, I love Edie Falco!!
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Iāve been thinking about this for a while, too. I think what you said about āitā being helpful until itās not is true, but also that by recognizing how self-doubt/anxiety/whatever āitā is can be helpful, we can then channel those feelings toward the useful aspects and derail when it stops being useful using whatever coping mechanism we choose to assist. This, for me, is what Iāve tried to do rather than recognizing the feeling only for it to trigger that feeling even more (recognizing Iām feeling anxious and then triggering more anxiety, for example).
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I agree. I think that by changing the outlook from āitās all badā, to recognizing the usefulness also helps take away the āscarinessā that can compound on itself.
At least it all sounds good in theory. Iāll have to actually give it a try IRL.
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Congratulations 
that is amazing!!! 
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3rd check in of the day (and probably the last one of the night). Go, go, goā¦ thats all I seem to do lately. Today has been super hectic! Work went well but was busy. I work as a complex needs specialist with adults who have mental health and intellectual disabilities so it can be mentally exhausting at times. Got home to cook supper and tidy up. Didnāt get to laundry but I might get around to that tomorrow after work. Showered and then now to do dishes and kitchen clean up. My hubby is currently ei (covid is making it very difficult for him to find work). I went from working 1 day a week as a relief staff (due to having to take care of someone close to me full time) to working a full time job and then coming home to my 2nd job as a housewife lol. I try not to get upset or resentful when I get home (which just triggers me wanting to use drugs) and see dishes and basic tidying not done when he has been home all day. I mumble to myself which is passive aggressive. I am trying to learn better communication skills so that I can express myself without it being fueled by anger. Anywayā¦ I had some thoughts of using. But because I was so damn busy, time got away from me and I am now too tired to think about it anymore 
Maybe there is a reason why I am where I am. Have a goodnight friends 
Hope everyone continues to do well in their recovery
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In really proud of you for getting through another day. I know how hard it is. Checking in here multiple times helped today. Consider doing the same tomorrow.
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