Good morning everyone, I am not a morning person usually, but I am finding in long term recovery that I need less sleep and I am waking up energetic and motivated to do something. So it is either the effects of recovery or possibly hypomania from my bipolar disorder. Either way I will take it. Looking forward to another clean and sober day.
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171 days. Had another restless night & minimal sleep. Woke up with a headache and just not ready to face the day yet. Will get the oldest started on her online learning, put a movie on for the lil one & then Iām heading back to bed. On a positive note, this morning was my manās last shift for a week and Iām looking forward to bedtime tonight more than anything else.
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13 days behind me. Feeling so great and free. Started the day at the gym with my new gym partner. Slept well. Looking forward to a great day ā¦ except weāre taking all four kids to the doc for their vaccinations 
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Made it past my second 1st week sober. Piece of cake. Honestly, itās easier for me if I DONāT think about my sobriety and just go about my business as a non-drinker. I wonder if that means I should back off here. I DO love reading everyoneās stories and developments, though. Speaking of whichā¦ @anon60334405 I hear you about the non-magic of sobriety. I think itās called normalcy. I just want you to know that you are doing a really great job and maybe magic is at work behind the scenes. Iāve lived long enough to have learned (that hard way) that the last phonecall I wasnāt going to make, the last turn I wasnāt going to take, the moment right before I was about to give up - but didnāt - were keys to life transformations. Thirty-two years ago I didnāt want to go to see a band play with my friends. I was tired and out of sorts. Done with love and socialization. But I went and met my future husband. Still together. (I was also strictly sober at the time.)
It all changes that fast. Have faith.
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I was in therapy a number of times, but my heart never was in it before. Previously I got in therapy after a lot of begging because I never was sober and clean and most therapists didnāt see the point and looking back they were 100% right. So in a way this is my first true therapy. With a proper diagnostic interview before. And indeed this is a therapy group that is designed to last 60 weekly sessions, so the better part of one and a halve years. Success with your new therapist too Olivia.
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Day 405ā¦ started out with a good lifting session. Now doing some remodel stuff on the house. Have a good sober weekend all.
@cwak i see youāre also hitting up the gym i donāt think i wouldāve made it without my gymā¦ working out was huge for me in the earlier days, keep it up man and congrats on 13 those early days can be tough.
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Congratulations to all of the great achievements, everyone!
Iām still in the early stages, but gosh, it feels great to be past most of the withdrawals.
Hitting 10 days tomorrow night. Double digits!!! Itās been years since I did that. Itās crazy to think about. After that, next stop, 30 days for Christmas 
Be well and stay strong, everyone!
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10 days was seriously one of my proudest milestonesā¦ those early days can be hell but i promise you that itās gonna get soooooo much better. Keep on ODAAT.
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Hi Emm,
Yeah, I tried to understand. She talked about her fears. Especially of our history in Germany. But hey, we live in an active democracy. She can vote next year for extreme right who are part of the conspiracy movement,kind of.
Concerning my shoulder. To sum up as I am always immediately searching for psychological causes. So I wrote my HR business partner in Friday. Left office. Pain started overnight to Saturday and got worse. I went to the doc Wednesday, talked to my boss and decided to take this somewhat bad offer, since then I came to peace and feel better. Since yesterday my shoulder gets better and better. Can almost close my bra painless and did a short kettlebell workout. I am 
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Thanks, man! I really appreciate that. Iām very excited for it. Hope things are going well!
Holy cow. Thatās an accomplishment right there. Way to be one of those that act as a beacon for the rest of us. Keep on keeping on!
Twelve days. Iāve been doing a bit of reading about alcoholism. Itās a real disease, so that makes me sick, right? Tough pill to swallow. Alcoholism took my fatherās life just over a year ago. He just couldnāt quit and he died way too young (57). This will no doubt be my destiny as well if I donāt stay away from the booze. Easy enough, right? Just donāt drink (canāt remember who said this here but it stuck).
Idk why I just wrote a conversation to myself lol. Iām just always trying to put things in perspective.
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John, it also took my sonās father 5 years ago. I know you can do it, itās tough but worth it. 
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For years I would enter into my journal my intense desire to quit smoking. And, for years, every day I would have to record my daily failures.
I now know that they were not āfailuresā, rather they were deposits. What I am saving is more than my life, bigger than myself. I am now available in ways (emotionally, mentally, and spiritually) where others can make a withdrawal from my Bank and it will not bankrupt me.
Blessed be!
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Itās a good thing to pay attention to the effects of stress on our bodies. There can absolutely be a psychological component, but even the simpler explanation that when we are stressed our bodies tense up can explain some of the pain and stiffness that results. Iām glad youāre feeling better!
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@Beachy , @Hazy , & @Briella congrats to you all on double digits 
84 days.
DBT first thing this morning, I am finding being in the group more and more awkward and uncomfortable. I will persist with it though, as itās the only support Iāve got in place currently.
It has been snowing/raining all day. I did get out for one walk but as expected I got absolutely drenched. Mentally I could have done with a 2nd one but my clothes were still completely soaked when I checked them, so I did my cleaning instead. I feel good about that because itās the first time Iāve done the cleaning solely for my own benefit, or not for a viewing or guests, in years.
Iāve managed to get through today without any binge-eating or trips to the garage for junk food, wish I felt better about it than I do, hoping this will be the start of a healthier few weeks so I can lose a bit more weight before Xmas.
I havenāt checked the news, but Iāve seen a few posts on social media about a new lockdown thatās even worse than the one weāve just had (UK), so Iām going to have a look what the latest guidelines are now, and then read some more of the book Iāve started reading again.
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Day 175 clean and sober today. Going through a really deep depression episode right now but I know this will pass. Iām trying not to act on my thoughts right now because I know theyāre skewed at the moment. Just trying to figure things out. Personally Iāve stepped back and looked at my relationship objectively and I noticed that itās incredibly one sided and that 98% of the time Iām feeling like shit and that I hold on for the 2% because itās amazing. Iāve found that when I bring up how Iām feeling itās usually met with being told that Iām making her uncomfortable and she implies that Iām needy. She never sees her side of it so I just stopped talking about how I feel. I stopped responding to her because I didnt know what to say and she texted that it feels like somethings off and she doesnāt like the feeling. Wellā¦ thatās the feeling I have to live with on a daily basis with her and it sucks. Iām not in a position with my mental health to deal with being treated like this right now but Iām scared to break it off because I donāt know if it could be my mental health issues and then when it passes Iāll regret the decision I made. I donāt know, maybe pray for me to have clarity and courage. Thanks everyone love you guys. 
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How can a lockdown get any worse?!..going back to work at the salon Saturdayā¦hate looking at masked people.its very hard to understand people aswell.
Hopefully things get better. One thing Iāll say, is throw that texting out the window, if you all need to talk try and do it in person. Itās to hard to speak through txt, to many different interpretations on each end and itās just gonna make things harder.
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Try to look at it from another perspective; what would you tell me if I wrote that here, asking for advice? Taking a break to figure out your feelings isnāt just breaking it off, itās for your health.
Just my 2 cents.
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