Waking up with 15 days done and behind me. Each day is now the longest I’ve been sober in three years. I feel free. Wondering about what steps I need to take to ensure it stays this way. One of them is telling my wife. My goal is to tell her today. I don’t know why I’m so scared to talk about it with her, but today it’s happening.
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Opening up is always hard to do because you feel vulnerable and afraid to be hurt, and you may also had some period in your life when being hurt meant that other’s opinion/action/reaction kinda destroyed you, you were hit in the very inside and it made you insecure about the core of your self and nothing is more scary than the possibility of loosing the certainty in our deepest selves. But now, if you think about it, you have a lot of tools to cope with this discomfort - even if she doesn’t take it so well, you can handle it. It wouldn’t destroy you, you two could talk about it, you could work on it. Her reaction cannot endanger your deep self. Unknown is scary but you don’t go there unprotected.
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- Had a drinking dream last night. Cannot remember when the last time I had one was. Very weird how realistic it was. I was absolutely confused when I woke up this morning.
Coincidentally, day 987 today. 987 was also the hull number of the last ship I served on.
All is well, think I will add another sober day
today!.
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Btw probably the reason of it is that if a child (or baby animal) is vulnerable physically it’s a matter of life and death, and if we experience psychic vulnerability as a kid we also take it as a danger of destruction because we have no protection against it, cause we don’t have a developed self. So if we have a lot of situations like that in our childhood, we tend to be instinctively afraid of these situations in the adulthood imo.
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Thats the spirit M! Love waking up to this!! 
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12 days and 14 hours…pretty moody today…tired physically from day back in salon yesterday…it’s a very big very busy place. 50 staff… social distancing is pretty nonexistent 
. Of course there’s masks etc,I choose not too…I hate them. I wear a visor like and 80s tennis player cos I hate being obstructed in vision aswell. Did some good work but it’s tiring talking non stop and being the character that you have to stage in salon work,and standing up all day is not what I’m used to ,even tho I done it full time for 2 years and part-time for 20!
.
So moody today, my eldest is pretty lazy and wouldn’t wash up for me , doesn’t matter really. But I feel like saying I’m not cooking tonight .
Anyway just chilling for a bit, looks like I’m going to be unproductive in studying so writing that off today and just gonna do random things around the house.
I was gonna get a 
tree 
today but I ain’t in the f++king mood ,so I’ll leave that one til I got a better head on rather than upset my kids by being a moody (probably menstrual) cow 
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Day 8 just checking in
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Checking in on day 175. Everything is going well; I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
It pains me to read through this thread and see some of my TS friends struggling but I know we will all pull through it and use our sobriety tools to help us cope. Stay safe and healthy everyone 
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Thanks for the welcome 
Definitly changed me for the better
Hey thanks Eric
Tell me about it its going by so quick
i will 
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Woke up at 4am, never got back to sleep. Though this has not been unusual in my life, I really thought that giving up the booze would help. I am only on day 23. Early, I know. But it is just… so… annoying. Doing so many things to help my sleep patterns. I thought. Can anyone show me the light at the end of the tunnel, or is my insomnia likely not even alcohol related?!
Going skiing again today. Wish me luck my exhaustion doesn’t lead to a broken bone lol.
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I’ve struggled with sleep most of my life, but it was particularly bad when I was drinking. Once I stopped drinking, it took about a month for things to really even out. A few things that helped with that? I started a really strict bedtime routine, which helps my body know that it’s time to shut down. For me that means a bath, a cup of sleepytime tea, writing in my journal, reading for about 20 minutes, and then lights out. Also, I go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day. These things have really helped my insomnia. Good luck! You’re doing so well with your sobriety, and you will be at day 30 before you know it!
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Those flowers are gorgeous! I hope you have a great day!
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I appreciate it like i was telling Eric these days are going by so fast 
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Emm thank you so much and of course
It feels great to be here sharing every step of the way
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400 Alcohol .
340 Tobacco.
735 Marijuana.
Checking in December 6 2020.
I feel like a clean sleight like i get a 2nd chance in life like i can make things right now the way it should have been and will be and i promise to myself new relationships to my family that they will get 110% everytime. This is me now .
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@Briella, I’m so happy that you’re feeling good. I think staying off of social media is a good idea. When I decided I was serious about getting sober this time, I deleted all of my social media: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. I figured it would be easier not to see all the pictures and updates from my “friends” at parties, etc. I figured I’d give it 30 days and see where I landed. Well, it turns out I have hours more a day to do what I’d like, and I don’t feel so negative, so they remain deleted. I hope you have a lovely Sunday!
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About point 1-2. Sadly this is totally normal. You cope differently with feelings, which means your brain has to adapt. Changing your ways for sobriety means a lot of great things will come out of this change. But at first, change equal difference, which equal strangeness, which means discomfort in your life experience. I can’t tell you how long it will last because true thing is that it depends of a lot of things. I encourage you to go to sometime go to the bottom of the feeling to see what is your need under it; and sometime to just deal with it with new coping skills that you should have a list of (when sad I can do… to change my mind or make me feel better). As for the suicidal thought I would approach it the same way feelings hit you, being all ear to the need expressed by this thought. Of course if you have any plan of concrete action in this direction I would recommend to reach for help at this moment.
Maybe try to approach those feelings as a new experience ? See how you can deal with them differently that you used to deal with.
Fuck alcohol. So much trouble it has bring in our life.
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Day 177 clean and sober today. Not sure which way things are going to go today as far as my relationship. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers today it’s a very painful subject for me to deal with thank you guys. 
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