Oh, I can see progress ahead, or solutions of a kind.
We have some great associations (and laws for that matter) here…
Dignitas
Exit Suisse
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It’s totally ok to be exhausted emotionally. Cry it out and try to take a rest, eat a bit of chocolate or whatever you like the most. You deserve to be treated well by others and by yourself as well.
I don’t know what happened, but I do know, that you’re feelings are valid, they cannot be “too much” or “not proper”. There is a reason you feel this way, it’s not you’re fault to have these emotions.
You have chaotic feelings right now, but they will settle down and you will see them clearer.
Check in here anytime you feel lost!
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Aww Mel, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I had a good long cry myself last night. Life really sucks at the moment.
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What’s the health problem? I think it’s great she’s interested in knowing you.
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Hugs sweetie. 
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Day 183 clean and sober today. Just got home from the hospital and I feel pretty amazing. Not physically but I feel really proud of myself that I was able to walk through the fear along with all of the emotional challenges that have gone on this week. I woke up in the hospital this morning with such a feeling of serenity and peace, peace with everything that’s happened and I’m ok. I’m more than ok I’m blessed, loving, loyal, compassionate, brave, honest, and stronger than I ever thought I was. From my wife dying I’m my arms the day before our anniversary, to losing my 11 year old little boy, to my uncle stabbing my grandfather 27 times and stabbing my little boy Corey (who’s 22 now) to dating a narcissistic for 2 years that verbally, physically and emotionally every day, to losing everything I owned because she promised to destroy me and she did. My company destroyed my house destroyed and then being homeless as a result of what these horrible people did. To Faith breaking up with me 6 months ago and surviving a suicide attempt as a result of the horrible way she treated me and ignored me to staying sober every day for the last 6 months because I never wanted to ever feel that pain again to Faith doing the exact same thing and acting the exact same way recently like she had when she had left me the first time she left me for another guy. Dealing with all of that pain, the anxiety and fear of my first surgery ever with nothing from her to waking up today and realizing how many incisions are all over my body and the pain I’m enduring with knowing Faith hasn’t even asked if I was ok (which I’m sure she’s back together with her ex) and realizing that all of the experiences I’ve endured and with all the fear and pain and emotional pain I’ve been going through that I’m one badass mother fucker. I have been through so much and yet I’m here sober and with good people like you all. I don’t know if it’s a fluke that I feel no loss by Faith leaving I feel powerful and strong and I respect that I have walked this life and I’m stil here. It helped me put things in perspective that if I can go through everything I have and still be loving, kind, honest and brave, it makes what Faiths done seem like nothing in comparison and I realized I’m a really good fuckiing person and she is not what I would want, I have lost all respect for her. I love you guys so much, I’m not trying to bash her I have been givin the gift of clarity in this situation. I’m kinda loopy from the meds and I hope it made sense. Love you!!! 
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Oh Mel I can definitely relate. There is a lot of sadness everywhere I turn. I had a “fuck it” day the other day. And it seems like it’s turning into a “fuck it” week. The only thing I’m feeling good about is me not drinking. We walked the dogs in the freezing cold this morning and I just made myself go out again. Like an idiot I put on Christmas songs and started crying. I guess I’ll let these feelings keep coming in until they don’t. I been sitting in the house watching Christmas movies and they making me cry too. We’ll get through this. Thanks for posting. You helped me posting cuz I wasn’t going to either. And there’s a vaccine now and there is HOPE.
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Thank you 
Today has been ok, let’s see what tomorrow brings!
@Rockstar24777 Yeah, you definitely are. You’re one of the greatest, toughest, strongest fighters. I’m honestly glad to have you here.
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- Starting step 8, I’m ready to make my ammends. They say this is where the real power starts, I was trying to go around before making my ammends, and I’m sure through my sobriety I’m making ammends. But I’m ready to actually go make these to who I need to, I pray my higher power shows me where I may of forgotten a mend that I need to make. Have a good night…
And as I typed this out, I already see one I need to make. Last night I did something stupid and went and hung out with a girl, we do get along great, but I don’t want a relationship I don’t want to be with anyone. My motives were for my own selfish needs and now today she messaged me again wanting to hang out. I said yes I’d hang out, but I need to stop bc I don’t want to be with anyone
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It doesn’t solve any problems, but…
For you too @liv_m and anyone else who just needed to see some pandas going down a slide!
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I’m sorry that you’re hurting. Sending hugs
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Holy Shit, Rob. That’s a lot to go through. It’s incredible to see you still putting your sobriety first and I hope you continue to find some kind of peace around everything. Super glad you’re here.
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Was interested… it’s moot now.
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#18, replanted a dead tree. Husband actually wanted to go look at furniture… So score on that! Didn’t get what our goal was, but saw some good options to replace our “moving every few years” stuff. evening coming… Have a dinner plan. Who knows after. but i have my soda water & cranberry if my husband wants to go visit with friends. Easy walk home if i have to.
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Thank you @anon28001181 I appreciate that and I feel like this is a new chapter in my life. Thank you so much
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Dude… damn you’ve been through the ringer. Your strength is admirable
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Rockstar man this was inspiring motivating and also very sad to read you have been through so much shit and your still with a kickass attitude man thats incredible 
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Thank you @Dan531 and @Truckinmonster21 for the support I appreciate it! Yeah it gave me a lot of strength to be able to look at the challenges I’ve faced and overcome and this first surgery felt good to make it through the fear and push through it. I think I’m starting to like myself and respect myself and it feels really good. Thanks again you guys I’m glad we’re all doing this together!
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