The self awareness and introspection that comes with recovery work is a gift and a curse for me sometimes. I believe it’s critical for my change to understand what’s going on inside me, but I also read into my every mood when I probably don’t need to. It can get maddening sometimes and I’ll make a mountain out of a mole hill. I can have a few bad days and that can just be the end of it. It doesn’t mean that I’m rocketing towards a relapse or a mental breakdown. In fact, having that fear and concern around every “negative” emotion I have, has been making it worse lately.
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It’s a bit early, but goodnight all. I’m going to watch a bit of TV and then pack it in. Another long day of work ahead tomorrow, same as every day.
You know, sometimes I wish that I could still drink alcohol, and take what little miserable comfort I could get from being so drunk that I could hardly even remember myself.
And if any of you knew me, you would understand why NOT remembering me is probably a good thing.
Of course I know that getting drunk all the time doesn’t help anything, quite the opposite, in fact, but I do miss the sense of losing awareness of myself and my life, at least for a little while. Red wine was good for that… Of course, the fact of waking up with something of a headache and a pasty taste in my mouth just another layer on top of the disappointment of waking up alive, again.
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day 19… Happy sunday y’all 
the count down till santa arrives is on. 4 days till xmas 
today is a good day.
the count down till santa arrives is on. 4 days till xmas today is a good day.
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Congratulations!
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Idk man. I feel weird since taking my medicine this morning. I’m super sensitive to this shit, last time I tried paxil I went into a full blown panic attack. I feel kind of jittery right now, kind of agitated more then normal. Idk how else to desribe it. Yesterday I felt fine, I’m gonna give it two more days
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Day 346. Checking in before going to bed.
I almost made it to the 1 year marker… holy s***…
For all of us 2020 has been a horrible year. In so many ways…
But I do hope that 2021 will bring some better things in all of our lifes.
I will fight my demons and solve my problems every day of the new year.
Ever since I broke up with my ex I’ve been working on me. Also with therapy this time. What a good move that was!! Truly loving every session.
On the last one I told her about my alcohol problem and that I’m almost 1 year sober without any professional help. She admired and respected me so much for it. That made me feel really good.
Now I’m off to bed.
Goodnight!
Sending much love and positivity to all of you 
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Aww thank you Paul. You were one of the first people that reached out to me when I came on here and I’ll never forget how welcome you made me feel. You’re a huge part of my journey and success. 
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yeah true 
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Holy moly. 15 months is huge Lisa.
Super happy for you!
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Checking in Day 22 AF & still not smoking. It’s been a busy week & my daughter was accepted to college of Charleston. When we went out to eat for her birthday, I couldn’t help but to notice the 30 people crowded around the bar. I knew I couldn’t drink, but it didn’t stop the momentary feelings of missing alcohol and how that used to be me. I’m normally very shy until I get to know someone, but when drinking I would become a social butterfly 
. But I also know that I never went home after a few, and would be there at closing, which most of the time I only ended up making a fool of myself before the night was over bc I would always end up drunk. It just made me pause for moment, realizing how easily I romanticize drinking, but thankful now I can see it for what it was. Absolutely good for nothing. Even though I have no idea how to get out & meet new people without being timid & sober, I know now that meeting people in that way, I wasn’t making any real connections. Heck 90% of the time I never spoke to them again. So I still have a lot to learn, but I’m thankful at least now I am seeing things more clearly for what it is.
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That’s an awesome observation. It took me awhile too, thinking of the “fun” I’m missing. Good girl!
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@RosaCanDo I hope your time all together is special, I hope the conversation went well 
@anon79808082 congrats on your official 200
@MagicILY congrats on 3 weeks
@Lisa07 congrats on 15 months
@SoberWalker congrats on the diploma
@Desire2ChangeToday love this!
@Squirt so happy for you 
@Beastmode welcome and congrats on 5 days
99 days.
1 week no cigs or binge-eating.
Checking in late tonight, was at my friend’s most of the day, hadn’t seen her for 5.5 months, was nice to catch up and just relax with company.
My city has just gone into Tier 4 lockdown, so now I won’t be able to see my family over Xmas, apart from my Dad and step-family on Xmas day, I’m sad about that because I was really excited about seeing my niece, I haven’t seen her since 20th September, but I know it’s for the greater good that we have these restrictions so I’ll just pray for better days soon I will also video call my sister in law over Xmas so I can see my.niece atleast.
I’m vising the cemetery tomorrow, then again on the 22nd but that time will be in the dark as my brother wants to meet me there but he’s at work during daylight hours, so we’re going tomorrow to see all the ornaments I’ve repainted together again.
Someone reached out to me for support with getting sober, so I told her about this amazing community and told her which app it can be accessed through.
See you all tomorrow, after I’ve wrapped presents and written cards
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Thank you, Tyler!
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That’s great to hear Shay, I’m proud to know you and yes TS has also helped me some in that kind of way. I’m no longer a selfish achiever, I want to help others do and be better than even ME. TS is full of great, positive and inspiring bunch. Much love to y’all.
Blessings and sobriety!
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Checking in going out with wifey to a huge christmas lights show 
Things i couldnt do while on my DOC
Now that iam sober i get to enjoy things like this with her
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Just checking in real early to say have a great holiday season to everybody wherever you are. If you dont have a holiday this year, enjoy what free time you may have as well.
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Got out of the house today and went on a short hike around the lake. Felt good to get out there and be able to enjoy the day. Here’s a couple cool pics I took of the lake. I hope you all had a wonderful day, love you guys! 
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Beautiful snow!! I grew up in MA so saw plenty of it. Now I admire it from afar. What a great way to start your day. Can’t enjoy that level of exercise while hungover.
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