From my experience I can share that until I started recovering from my many addictions I never had any dreams I remembered. It can be very unsettling for certain. It is as far as I have heard and experienced completely normal. Give yourself a break and Yes to lots of self care.
God bless you all. 
&
3 Likes
Checking in on almost 124 days sober from alcohol. Feeling really calm and balanced the last couple of days. I feel like I’m starting to change as I’ve gotten more days under my belt, like my mindset is finally shifting - it’s hard to describe… apart from the internal change, I noticed I have a hightened sense of smell … did anyone else get that? So random! 
I notice many different smells I never did before, really weird! Like I sniffed out a dirty pair of shoes under the stairs that must have been there for at least a year. Also, I need to air out the room several times a day, which I never did before 
@IcanIwill congrats on getting into nursing school and having the courage to take leap of faith 
I work very closely with nurses and I admire them a lot. It’s such a selfless, challenging and rewarding profession. It’s the nurses who keep the hospital running. They know the patients best and can provide insights that are very valuable for their treatment. You go girl!
22 Likes
@anon27760155 u are dealing with the crap life is throwing at u so well! And congrats on ur graduation. Be proud.
@CATMANCAM Congratulations on triple digits!
5 Likes
Day 132
This week is the last week of classes before Christmas, so have mostly easy Christmas activities for the students to do. Should be a chilled and fun week.
25 Likes
Day 85. Max and I had a quiet day at home. The arthritis in my hands and wrists was pretty bad, so no knitting today. I combed through my new baking book and found some recipes to attempt once my break from work starts on Thursday.
@IcanIwill congratulations on getting into nursing school! It’s a very challenging but rewarding profession. I’m sure you’ll do great!
@CATMANCAM congrats on triple digits! Your progress inspires me on a daily basis.
@RosaCanDo I’m sorry you’re having a rough day. Vivid dreams can really mess with all of us. I hope you’re being kind to yourself, and I am glad to hear that you and your husband came up with a plan to mutually care for the dogs.
@FeelingBetter you captured the pink cloud on film? Amazing! Your ski trip sounds like it was fun, and I’m glad you successfully negotiated your way through dinner with your friends sober.
@M-be-free49, as always, it seems like you’re dealing with a lot of complicated, emotional things, and handling them with grace. I’m glad you got to see your mom, and I hope your upcoming break will give you the chance to rest and relax a bit.
23 Likes
@Penguin @TSan @Penguin @anon28001181 thank you guys so much for your words of encouragement and support. I’m beyond excited but I know I need to keep myself together to get through it. I’m thankful to say I’ve made it through this weekend sober. I’m in bed now reading a book 
14 Likes
Good job!! Congrats on 2 weeks, keep up the hard work 
1 Like
Day 702 and have really needed to stay connected today. Worst day in a long time… do not want to carry these feelings into Christmas. Doing my best to stay in the day
23 Likes
It’s hard sometimes. i see you just passed a milestone, do they fuck with you like they fuck with me? Shit’s rough for a week or two for me around them. Congratulations on 702 btw that’s a whole lot of 24’s
4 Likes
Yip… my last relapse was 2 yrs ago this time. Binged from week before Christmas until New years. Started recovery in 2011… got 4yrs up and then holidays were the worst. But I was a full blown addict so it didn’t matter when it was… I’ll find any excuse to use and manipulate my way to get it done.
Got through 2020 new years okay. Not really triggered around holidays now but I’m going through alot right now and its bringing back old thoughts and feelings, which can potentially place me in a vulnerable state.
Thanks for the kind words brother.
12 Likes
I hope your path gets easier very soon. Reach out if you need to chat, sending strength
1 Like
Back to Day 1. I hadn’t checked in on here for 7 days. I came everyday but didn’t check in.
Finals week, quit my job because they didn’t pay me for the time I was out for quarantine. At least that was the final straw. The job has been dragging me down for awhile for all types of reason. It’s not looking good for my parents marriage.
None of that is an excuse. I had intent, the same intent as always, to disappear. Funny thing, it wasn’t effective, the “going away” didn’t work. I don’t mean like usual, like the problems are still there in the morning. There was NO relief. I know too much how it feels to not do that, I guess.
Anyway, I drank for 40 years. Over the last three I have been sober more days than not. It ain’t over till it’s over.
Now I have the next few weeks without school, without a job, just to take care of myself and the kids. Financially, I am fine through at least April, so it’s time to dig even deeper, do all the meetings, read all the books, do all the journaling and definitely find a counselor.
29 Likes
I’m glad you back. I missed you. I hope you learned something. 40 years of drinking huh 
I was at 45 years of drinking. And I just got tired of it. It was exhausting. I pray you can make it work this time. No offense but we ain’t getting any younger.
Bless you heart.
12 Likes
Eric, I am definitely tired of it. I haven’t had any of the pleasure effects for so long. I can still fantasize about that crisp glass of white wine in the summer, an ice cold beer after a long day, but I have too much evidence to the contrary. As a mom, I’d say to my kids, “So, that dumb ass idea you thought would work out differently, didn’t? What did you learn from that?”
I re-learned not to follow through on dumb ass ideas. 
9 Likes
Sorry to hear that @EarnIt. Our addict mind can be very persuasive. Definitely time to emmerse urself in recovery to make it stick.
2 Likes
Glad you’re back and it sounds like you have a solid plan for the next few months
1 Like
Checking in nearing the end of day 27 nicotine, day 338 drugs and 484 alcohol.
Got my regular things accomplished today, prayers, readings, self care. It’s Sunday so even got in some relaxing time and football. Lots of healthy communication with family and friends on Sundays its so good for me. I went to my home NA group in person that was good. I got a beautiful woman’s number which some people will deem inappropriate but I’m not new and neither is she. Walked with her part way home a few times now. Watching some t.v. with my housemate and enjoying some food and catching up on here. Facebook reminded me that’s it been 15 months today since my back surgery.
God bless you all. &
22 Likes
Checking in day 30. I am so so excited that I’ve made it this far. Celebrating with a cup of tea and board games with some friends.
22 Likes
You know for months in my recovery I would romanticize about that nice bottle of Red. Or the big trip I’m going to take someday 
. And it would drive me nuts. I even wanted to start a topic about when do those thoughts ever go away? I don’t know if they do go away. But it’s happening less and less. And all I can say is “I’m not drinking today! And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.” It’s getting a little better.
See you tomorrow 
11 Likes