Lol! It wasn’t just you. We both showed up a little early to @Dazercat 's party! 
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@EarnIt I don’t think I sent condolences, Jene, on your daughter’s pet rat passing away. It doesn’t matter what species, I think all these furry or not furry beings that care for us do a better job of being people than us humans!
Good job on being there for your daughter and recognizing her loss. 
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Day 27 checking in.
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Lol, good one! 
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Great job sweetie!!
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Pretty powerful stuff for coming up on one year of sobriety. Thank you for sharing. This is super motivating!
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Day 125
It’s the same chaos here as usual,with the tweenie. My husband starts working again on Monday and I’ve got severe anxiety because of that. And zero energy to actually do something at all. I just had enough of it all, I’m even more determined that If he can’t get it together and make tweenie to behave so we all can live together they’re going to have to move to another place. They’ve got until Easter. I refuse to take shit from a horrible tweenie and O refuse to let my boys live in the chaos she creates. They deserve a normal nice and calm life.
It’s a shame after 10 years together, but I feel like I’ve done everything I can and it still doesn’t help.
Yesterday I helped my 18 y/o cutting her hair (Ywp I know how to, once upon a time I had plans one being a hairdresser) tweenie asked her Pa (aka my husband) if I could help her with a haircut as well. She didn’t want to ask me because I’m always mad. That statement is probably based on the fact that I’m the only one who actually tries to keep some kind of rules around her. She had really long hair and wanted a short bob. I kindly refused and told her that I could make a long bob cut instead so she wouldn’t regret it later. She’s got really thick hair so it took mr about an hour to cut it. Before I did the cut I asked several times if she was sure she wanted to cut it. And during the haircut too. She assured me that she was. After she was done and saw her hair in the mirror she had a complete meltdown because it was to short. She even called her mother raging about her ugly hair. She didn’t say Thank you or anything and she’s still mad because it’s to short. I told her that she demanded it shorter from the beginning, but she’s still mad.
We had Beans and rice for dinner yesterday, tweenie refused to eat because she didn’t like beans. Last week when we had chili she ate like three bowls, beans and all. Today when it was Taco soup (same beans in the soup) she had two bowls.
I empty the upstairs laundry two days ago washed all if tweenies clothes. Today it was full again and she blamed my 18 y/o and her boyfriend for all the laundry. I counted the clothes amd showed her that everything was her clothes. My 18 y/o and her boyfriend shares the upstairs bathroom with tweenie but they do their own laundry. Tweenies only answer was that I’m the parent so I’m obligated to wash. I told her that I’m not her parent and then I told her and my husband that they are on their own from now on. I refuse to do anything to help tweenie or do anything for her until she changes her behavior.
I know I’m an adult, and that I definitely should be the bigger adult person here. But I’m totally out of ideas and energy. I’ve tried, and tried again but it doesn’t help. For Christmas we got her an expensive necklace with matching bracelets she’s been wishing for a few years. It took her four days until she broke it because it wasn’t a “perfect fit” she’s having a birthday at February 13 same day as my 18 y/o (My 18 y/o actually turns 18 on that day) I don’t even want to give her a birthday gift. It’s sad and I’m just as lost as I was before Christmas.
But I’m still sober.
I hope each one of you had a wonderful new years celebration 
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Hi! I’m new to all this and am on day 10…made it through both holidays!!! May not seem like a big deal to others, but it feels like one to me 
I’m trying, day by day. Afraid to think ahead and get overwhelmed. Grateful for forums like this to talk and read supportive understanding messages. Good job, everyone!
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Day 98. Got up early and got the laundry done. Max’s new auto feeder came today, and of course he barked at the poor delivery woman like she was coming to kill us both. I got it set up, and Max doesn’t know exactly how to feel about this new food robot. Neither do I, but the vet recommended splitting his two meals into four smaller ones, and I can’t really make that happen in the middle of the day when I’m at work. I suppose we’ll both get used to the new food overlord in the house.
@Dazercat, congratulations on one year sober, Eric! That is so great! 
@Squirt, 200 days! I’m so happy for you!
@Tommo I really appreciate your post today. You said a lot of things I’ve been thinking about recently. Congrats on 120 days!
@Girlinterrupted, your Svetlana is a real cutie! I’m so glad you’re doing well and have such an awesome companion in sobriety.
@Lisa07 and @M-be-free49, just a few years ago, my dad would have told you it was possible for me to burn water, I was so bad in the kitchen! Some health challenges forced me to finally learn to cook so I could prepare my own food. Baking is just the next step in that journey. Thanks for checking out the blog!
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Well done on 120! You’re like me, and thinking a lot about how you want to be better. I think it sounds like you’re in the right direction to continue in your recovery.
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Felicidades, Eric! You’re a swell guy, you know that? Thanks for being here.
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I’m so sorry your still going through this and she is still acting up causing you stress… Are you able to sit down with her for a one on one and have a calm talk with her , ask her why she is behaving that way etc? Can you maybe take her out for an afternoon just the two of you away from the house and everyone, make her feel a bit special and noticed/seen/heard etc , I know you live very remote and far from things, but even if you were to take her for a nice walk just the two of you and really let her talk to you etc?.. I don’t have kids so I cant speak from experience, but I myself was a nightmare brat child. I rebelled from my parents because our home environment was questionable. They were alcoholic gamblers and neglected to care about raising me with intrest , attention, basic parental wants for a child etc … I was shown zero affection or interest, they just let me run muck from the age of 12 not caring about how my life evolved etc… I was ignored… So in saying this, I just thought maybe your step daughter, does she have a name? Maybe she is behaving this way because she is still hurting from her past… Just love her. Show her intrest and care and love. Talk to her calmy one on one. Show her your not going to abandon her. She is feeling abandoned and not wanted. These experiences will effect her for the rest of her life… Help her feel loved. I guarantee deep down that is all she wants. To feel loved and wanted
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This is great! You’re so close to your personal best, and I know how good that feels. Keep doing the work, it’s really paying off for you!!! Thanks for being here.
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day 33… Had a sleep in this morning till 8am. Its a Sunday so I enjoy laying in on Sundays… Woke up to grey skys and rain… Love that on a Sunday… Made my coffee. Going to skip my 10k steps today coz I’m sore from yesterdays bike ride. I took my bike out for a spin yesterday and ended up riding for hours. Very sore tooshy this morning lol! I had a very broken sleep , I woke up at least 4 times last night doing night ninja fights with my comforter lol. It was a humid summers night and apparently that is when my best night ninja comforter fighting skills are displayed … I’m going to make a coffee, start some prolific epic journaling and let the day flow… First weekend of 2021 
I had a very broken sleep , I woke up at least 4 times last night doing night ninja fights with my comforter lol. It was a humid summers night and apparently that is when my best night ninja comforter fighting skills are displayed … I’m going to make a coffee, start some prolific epic journaling and let the day flow… First weekend of 2021
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Hi Lynn.
Your sober date is on Christmas Eve 
And you haven’t had a drink since ?
That is a HELLOVA BIG DEAL in my books. I’m really happy for ya.
And that’s a great attitude not looking to far in advance. ODAAT. That’s all we got. And that’s all we got to do.
God Bless, that is great!!
Good for you.
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Love this!!! Try to do it first thing when you wake up. And try to fill 3 full pages. Your consciousness streams out best and clearest at this time
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Believe me, I tried it all. Talking, taking her out. Everything. It doesn’t help. This far she crashed every place she’s gotten in to, two foster care homes and one youth facility center refused to have her because of her behavior. Back at her mothers place she’s used to have whatever she wants or just choose where she wants to live. With her Ma, with relatives, in a foster care home. She basically had the social services wrapped around her finger. They closed the case when she moved here. And unfortunately we do have rules here. When I ask she simply says
“Well that’s how I am”
Once again I know she’s just a child. I was about her age when I started to get into trouble myself. And I do want the best for her, I just don’t have more energy to put in. And I don’t know where to find it. I can take a lot, we have all special need kids. I know everyone is different, I just can’t handle when you’re plain mean with purpose, steals, lies, manipulates and are all selfish. We have to hide our things and our food, serve food to the kids to make sure they boys are getting any at all because she takes it all, without considering that there’s more people living here.
At first I thought the same way as you do. I fought to get her here, because my idea was that she needed her parents and a secure place to stay. A place to call home, a family. But I’m not so sure that it was a good idea, and I’m starting to get more and more certain that I’m not the one to help her. Especially not at the cost of my boys welfare.
I’m greatful for all the input and advice I can get. Thank you for answering, I hope everything is good with you.
Tweenie does have a name, It’s actually a little funny my soon to be 18 y/o and tweenie is as I previously wrote, born at the same day. Tweenie ia named Isabela we call her Bella, and my teen is named Daniela, we call her Ella. So it’s Ella and Bella. (Guess how many times that gets a little hard ) to increase the confusion one of our close friends have a daughter called Isabel, aka Belle. Ella, Bella, Belle…
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your a legend Eric!! Amazing work 
your a daily inspiration to so Many of us and a fantastic human
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Congratulations Eric on your first year…I remember my first year cause it was the most honest I’ve been to myself…you are a big inspiration to so many people and I always get something when I read your shares.
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