I echo, Rosa. I show up on this thread daily, out of gratitude for the regulars that came before me and posted daily, and whose posts did so much to get me through my early days. Also because showing up here daily has been a huge reason why I have 210 days. I’m learning to trust that whatever processes I am going through internally are part of the journey, what I can learn about myself, if I am open to that - but that’s where I’m a work in progress. 
I’m always glad whenever I see you here. 
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223 days. Another cold one here. Thought I’d be doing some insulation work but it’s too cold for the materials. Try again tomorrow I guess. Going to listen to my body and crawl back into bed for a while. Hope everyone has a good 24.
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I wanted to answer something. Maybe not very helpful. Anyway. What came into my mind was: hell, there are some ‘lol’, smileys. I was wondering if you are taking it serious. No offence, really. But I didn’t think of my addiction as something funny, more of: irony in order to look all well and strong on the surface. Inside it was very very dark.
I hope that you can find a way out.
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It’s what I’ve been doing in the last months. Or maybe it actually is what I do since I joined this forum. I do get involved in some other threads. At times. For a bit. But this one right here is my anchor. I always return here while trying to follow up on other threads gets too much too often. This is my base. Thanks for being here too @RosaCanDo and Emm.
Edit to include my reaction to @CapriciousCapricorn’s original post. I agree 100%. Thanks for speaking out. I sort of plough through it (and get pretty fast doing it). I’m sure of everybody’s good intentions and we all have our own ideas but it’s not my idea of what this thread is about.
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I dont take offense at all as it’s something i need to look at. Years ago my addiction to whatever it was at the time was HELL. I couldn’t function without it. Now I would consider myself more often than not a “functioning addict”. I lead 2 completely diff lives and alot of people don’t know that I use occasionally. With that said, bcuz I see myself as being able to somewhat function and not using everyday, I guess I convince myself that it’s not that bad. I think that’s where I dont take it seriously. I was able to quit meth, extacy, hydromorph, etc years ago and actually gained 3 years of clean time at one point. That’s what baffles me! I know I can do it! But why is it so much harder this time? Is it bcuz I think I can sort of function and have a normal life by being a recreational user? Thing is, is that I have alot to lose. And I dont want to lose it. I dont want to get to the point of being like I was. Life was hell… literal hell years ago when I was using and doing other unhealthy things. Hmm u made me think. Maybe that’s why I’m not getting the clean time bcuz my mind is telling me it’s not that bad. But it is…and I deserve a better life than to use drugs and be broke and stressed and feel like shit. Thank u for challenging me and making me think 
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Good news I heard California is opening back up dont know for sure if it’s TRUE as anyone heard the same thing?
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You made it, well done gurl!!! 
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Ok I’ll pray for him if you dont mind God as a way of working it out! He changed me!
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Yes, it is in the news here in So Cal. But, not sure what it really means yet. Fewer restrictions on some businesses hopefully, but day-to-day life probably much the same.
Wow! Never thought of that. Jeeze I need and want to get this so bad… even if my mind makes excuses and justifies my using. Jeeze 22 years I’ve spent using drugs and alcohol (I did have periods of clean time tho)… I dont want to keep doing drugs. I want to see what my 1 time at life has to offer me
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D 116
I’ve been out of the job market for a few years due to depression and other stuff. Now that I’m doing better mentally, altho I struggle with addiction, the government wants me back earning tax dollars So, I’ll be attending an employment evaluation from Tue to Thu this week. I really have no idea what to expect and I’m getting more nervous by the minute but I’m trying to keep Serenity prayer front and centre. Hopefully it would be inspiring time. I have a bachelor’s degree in certain studies but I’m NOT going back to that field. So, figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, LOL. Ughh… Wish me luck!
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Thank you my friend I love your positivity. I know I can. I need to retrain my brain and stop with the excuses
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Day 218,
Feeling depression,
However a bright light some how I got a 250 dollar bonus from work, how I dont know it just says client issued incentive. I’ll take it
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If I can offer this - as someone who thought that about myself for years - while we alone are responsible, we alone can’t do the job (of retraining our brains). Don’t be afraid to reach out, as @Dazercat and @CapriciousCapricorn have said. Whether counselling, AA, or just repeated daily checks in here - every day is like shopping at the hardware store for new tools to keep ahead of that voice.
I’m right with you. Doing the same.
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I love this!!
Thanks for sharing that! Recovery is an ongoing thing of learning
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Friend - for all the press you may have gotten for your # of clean/sober days, I forget to pay any attention to the nicotine…
From everyone I know who has tamed that beast and left it behind, this is no small feat! And usually, (and understandably) they’re jerks for the first little while!
Just a big shout out to you that you are, in character, seemingly beating another addiction while you take everything else you have going on in stride.
Pretty freakin’ impressive.
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I’ve been sober for ten days!
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checking in sober and tired. good day, screwy red cat and I ordered a phantastic kitchen today. Love to you all 
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Daily Check in 160 
Have a nice week for everbody 
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