Goodnight all… maybe tonight…
3 Likes
Hello All,
I may be off-side here, and if I am - I’ll trust that the rules that we have in place will keep me in check (so please flag me if you feel i am!), but I wanted to make sure I addressed some of the comments on this thread that I and others made earlier today.
My understanding was that this thread was created by a Karen - (not @Kareness) several threads ago! Thank you Karen! - primarily for purpose of the title - to have a place to check into and be accountable - to keep our sobriety and recovery on track each day. I greatly value the cohesion that this thread can create, and the support we offer to each other, when it focuses on our day-to-day lives, our challenges and victories, particularly as these relate to our recovery and learning to live life sober, to stay sober, to use the tools of recovery. We seek to give and receive feedback here, peer-support.
Since I joined, almost 8 months ago, I’ve also observed the following:
-
Of course, friendly banter starts - but in keeping with one of the “Talking Sober Rules and Guidelines”, we “Respect the conversation. Stay on topic in a thread and do not derail the discussion.” After a few posts down a rabbit hole, we either bring back to sobriety (despite whatever went down in said rabbit hole!) or take off-line - out of respect for those who check in once a day and want to read each post.
-
Sometimes we reply to one post immediately with a single post, particularly if someone is struggling. But we also try to balance the sheer number of posts on this thread any one day. Oftentimes I want to say something, but as I catch up on the thread - I see someone has already reached out to say what I was going to, and I can add my voice with simply a “like”.
Does this seem like the appropriate use of this thread, and way to use this thread?
Is there another daily thread we can or should start, or does one already exist? (There is a daily greeting thread, though I haven’t checked it out). Something like a “break room” or “lunch room” kind of thread? There are so many options. EDIT: for those who want more unrelated banter…
I write all of this out of my hope that this thread continues to be as helpful to others as it has been to me, (@Mno said “anchor”, and I would agree), but also in the hopes that no one feels alienated by my earlier comments.
I hope this thread is somewhere we can all feel welcome to show up as we are, and leave feeling that much more bolstered to face the world, sober.
We’re doing another day. Right now. 
34 Likes
Checking in, day 81. I’m not doing great right now, I smoke, I’m confused, I feel lost. I don’t know, what could turn it around, for starters I’m going to check in daily to be accountable.
I hope you all are doing well! Though I wasn’t gone long, but I missed you guys a lot.
27 Likes
Actually it was another Karen! So I can’t take credit. 
7 Likes
So what’s going on why do you feel lost? Maybe we all can help!
Well, on one hand the tools I used to stay sober or to bring sense into my days don’t tend to work anymore. Till now I knew what is the next step to take, but now I don’t know, the things I do don’t work and I seem to slip back to old habits, trains of thoughts and feelings.
On the other hand I miss my friends. I lost contact with two of them and terminated the friendship with my best friend, with whom I hadn’t talked for many weeks. Now we talked today and I have so confused feelings towards her. I shouldn’t talk to her probably, but I need her as a friend a lot. I need her support but I can’t take it.
This is the surface, on deeper levels a lot of things just seem to be a dead end without solution.
2 Likes
congrats on your 100 days, remember to stay in the now and your best will come 
4 Likes
I agree with your sentiment, I think we are all a bit guilty of thread jacking, derailing at some point or another, I think we should start a thread if the moderators are ok with it that is just for general chat fellowship, vs the free for all we currently have af times.
@moderators thoughts? Input ?
ETA, I dont know how this software works but other forums I belong to, their general chat/breakroom threads dont count towards post counts, avoids post padding numbers
3 Likes
I understand I can only speak from my own experience. I’m 53 years old and have fallen and picked myself up plenty of times. Always saying it doesn’t work for me. However sometimes it was me not doing the work or relying on it to play itself out. Other times I needed to learn more tools for a different situation. I was trying to cut a piece of wood with a hammer and it just doesn’t work. My thoughts sometimes are my emotions which get me in trouble. So I always breath count calm down and control my emotions which than help my thought process. I also miss my old friends one oh just passed last week I knew since grade school. We miss them because we love them. But all of them are not good for us. Have you tried Facebook or trying to look for the ones you lost contact with? The friend you talk to today why cant you be friends with her?
3 Likes
Day 56… Something magical happened this morning. My baby myna came and hung out with me for over an hour. When I woke up it was pouring rain and I stuck my head out my window and in the corner was baby all wet and huddled in the corner on the ledge trying to hide from the rain… It flew right up to me and proceded to hang out with my for over an hour… After about have an hour it started talking to me and trying to say peek a boo and baby… Thats what I’ve been training it to say. It behaved and didn’t fly in my room it just hung out with me on the widow cill and every time I walked away to the kitchen it would start talking and singing soooo loud ! This is our best interaction yet. Such magic 
it was thirsty so I taught it how to drink water from a bottle cap…
39 Likes
All four one and one four all. Nice
1 Like
That is so cool! You got some really great pictures too.
3 Likes
I took a 10 minute video of it doing its little stretches and wing spreads and head bobs for me lol… When I’m that up close to it for that long I could see the head moving when its trying to talk. Its words got clearer after an hour. I just kept repeating the words peek a boo and who’s my baby and it didn’t take long for it to try say peek a boo… Its a very playful myna! It will eat out of my hand but its beak is so sharp and its peck hurts lol ! 
7 Likes
it’s nice to take a little break now and again or just cool it down a bit. Us addicts are buggers for over doing shit to the extreme. Take life at your pace and don’t let society push or pull you along.
10 Likes
It was so smart. Before I gave it the water cap to drink from it figured out how to drink the water droplets from the bottom of the open window.
2 Likes
this is how he was waiting for me out of the rain. All wet and annoyed from the rain lol. It was all huddled in the corner.
13 Likes
Thank you for your insight!
You’re right, maybe I just didn’t realize, it’s a new situation now. Till now I was fighting only for sobriety, but now I’m more and more facing my life issues that I covered up by booze earlier, so the usual distraction just doesn’t work for them.
Yes, I have to separate reality and thoughts and feelings more, sometimes it’s just a blur, hard to see it through.
I lost contact with friends because they broke up our friendship, so I don’t have any other options than letting it go.
I fell in love with my best friend (but in fact it’s a really complicated feeling).
1 Like
Yeah, I feel a bit less connected too, don’t think it is the forum/thread, just in an ebb phase.
2 Likes
4 Likes