Checking in sober. Noticing a bit of irritability/agitation building within me so I am going to check in more . Not really sure of the cause, just feeling a bit off. Still worried about my Mother’s health, but I am powerless over the situation and it is in God’s hands. Trying to push through and focus on the things I can do like journaling, going to meetings, checking in, and step work. Keeping it simple and taking things one day at a time. Hopefully my mood will shift soon. Have a strong sober 24 everyone. Awesome work on crushing those milestones! 
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Checking in late day 32 thankful for one more day of sobriety!
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Day 233.
Lots on this thread about all the changes some of us want to make - procrastination, eating habits, screen time, motivation, etc. This is my mind some days at my work laptop: “I should check email. No, wait - don’t. Hey, there’s crackers. No, focus. Do what you were doing before - tunes, I need tunes. Ok, now focus. There’s crackers? Time for a break. Gotta check the memes thread.”
The beautiful thing about being sober - in the alcohol free sense - is that I get to see this now. And I don’t think much of it changes until I just get to know this sober self and laugh at her - with her - as she rage eats crackers and doesn’t lose her sh*t on a work call. Not making excuses for myself! Just breaking the shame cycle.
The rat in my mind has been trained to finish the maze for the cheese (er, wine) reward. Coming to the end of the maze now he’s frantically searching for other rewards, sure. Slowly we’re talking him out of that whole mentality. Hey, little rat dude, let’s just leave the maze and take things one moment at a time, k?
So he’s asleep for the time being, the cracker crumbs are cleaned up, and tomorrow is another day.
We did it again - another day. We can do it again tomorrow. I know it.
G’night, big love to all. 
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Ya it is!
Great job man. 
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- Feeling super isolated with this crazy weather and rolling blackouts here in Texas. Hubby has been stuck at work for 5 days/nights because of an external disaster code that is still in place
He was able to leave the hospital this morning and make it home safely and now it’s my turn. Kids have missed another week of school, grocery stores, pharmacies, etc. are closed or limited in supplies… this feels like Covid all over again. A few days ago it was Spring in my backyard and now it’s ice and no one in the Houston area was prepared for it 
Just needed to unload this somewhere 
so thanks for listening.
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always finding out something new, this week I am hurting and although it’s not pleasent it’s definitely an experience I’m watching bc I’ve been numb all my life and didn’t know I could care about anything else but me. I always thought I was heartless but this pain shows me I’m human after all.
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Checking in on day 405!
Therapy thursday for me.
The app updated on my phone. Looks really nice!
I love the journal function on it. I’ve never kept one so i’m giving it a try!
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Had my first drinking dream last night, 60-odd days into sobriety. Actually surprised it took so long to manifest. I accidentally drank a sip of wine thinking it was soda and was extremely angry that I would have to go back to Day 1.
When I think about it, that’s exactly how I feel in waking life…like I would be letting myself down.
I wonder if these dreams will continue or if they ever go away?
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Way to go, +1 year of freedom. Keep on keeping on ODAAT dear. 
Blessings and sobriety!
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Checking in at day 65.
I feel, that everything related to my dad’s estate inventory, is like taking a step forward and then taking two steps back. It’s just so frustrating right now. I understand that legal processes like this take time, it’s not that.
I think it’s more to do with my brothers not being the most helpful with this. The oldest one is still being an ass, and we cannot reach him. The second oldest brother is slightly better, when it comes to keeping contact, but it feels like he doesn’t understand the urgency with some of the paperwork. And it’s a bit complicated to for me to travel 7 to 8 hours to a different town just to deliver a piece of paper to the bank. F*ck.
God, grant me the serenity…
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Yes please
Surely this is no help but I’m pissed of with your brothers too atm 
I’d almost like to suggest you go over there for a week or two and have this sorted. But I know it’s not that simple eh.
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Thanks Olivia, I appreciate that. 
Dunno if a week or a two would suffice, might need few months actually, lol.
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- Busy day off. Took my road bike in for servicing, can get it back before the sop closes. Now I have to go to Amersfoort for group therapy. Making progress there, not in the least because of the input I get here discussing some of my issues. My second year of sobriety rocks! You all rock! Have as good a day as you all can. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.
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Good morning friends, day 96! Still so sleepy and groggy… Need to shake it off and get ready for work.
Have a great day!
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I agree with @Jennajen. I love the way you are with your words. The way I related was very funny in my mind.
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Day 381. Awe it’s a beautiful day fam, I had a awesome night with my girls. They make me laugh so much, I still try to figure out how to get through with them without yelling, it will always be a learning curve but I’m sober so it’s all worth it. Last night trying to sleep, I’m laying there with my eyes closed… Mind is literally playing the hike with this girl, like actually climbing the mountain and laughing with her, and also i played a scene going snowboarding with her and what I would say and how I made her laugh and I’m sitting there smiling with my eyes closed like this is actually happening. Then I’ll catch myself and say thoughts and try to fall asleep, only to go on to practing deadlifts and squats in my mind. It took me a while to fall asleep. Idk if this is normal or not, but either way I’m gonna say it’s a beautiful thing. It’s better then having negative thinking like before. Anyways I can’t wait to get home to my beautiful girls. And I hope you all have a wonderful day. Much love
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just planned out a trip to scotland on tripadvisor 
As to whether it’ll be ok to do so this summer we’ll see but would be a good trip if we can
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ARRRRRGGGG! This database restore that I’ve been working on at work, since Sunday finally completed late last night and there were some catch-up steps that were going to run through the night while I slept. When I woke up, I discovered that there was an issue in one of those steps. Thankfully, my genius teammate in Singapore noticed the issue and worked on a solution for me to apply when I came on. This is a huge headache we’ve been trying to get past all week and I was hoping to not still be dealing with it. Work work work…
I’m not going to drink any alcohol, but several cups of strong coffee are in my near future.
Have a great day!
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Day 251 clean and sober today. Spent yesterday with a childhood friend of mine who is dying from Lou Gehrig’s disease, a disease that there is no cure for. He’s not sure how many months he has left to live and it was a really big reality check for what I’ve been going through. He told me to find my passion, whatever it is that brings me joy and happiness and to do that with all of my heart and I’ll be ok. Really humbling and made me very grateful to have him in my life after 35 years of not seeing each other. Have a great day everyone, love you guys!!! 
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