Thanks mate. I have so many things keeping me in check which is definitely helping me. You’re right tho it’s the brain tricking me for more dopamine, I think soon as lockdown is over I’ll be able to get the dopamine in more healthy ways:) one love the
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That is so cool thanks for sending us all a pic!
Bye for now…
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Want to say I’ve made it another day. Guess the hardest thing was also leaving the toxic relationship that lead to some of my alcohol problems. Hardest part is knowing how toxic it was but still missing that person and all the good times. I wish he would of quit with me because things would be entirely different. But than I continue to think how much better life can be, Im surrounded by people who genuinely love me, my family and my friends… I dont know how grateful I should be 
I also grateful for these chats… appreciation of others that understand and have gone through it are so amazing in helping me know that its going to be more than ok
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Day 7 
alright my peoples we can do this the will of our hearts can overpower the weakness in our minds!!!
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I’m proud of you and that is extremely hard and very relatable to many I’m sure. You need to fix you first and everything else will work it’s self out the way it should be. 
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Congrats on one whole week! 
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Day 225.
I didn’t think of drinking today. I did set out on small fantasy where I, without consequence, could tell certain people exactly what I think of them while on a work call. But then I reined it back in and recited the serenity prayer a few hundred times. 
Another busy day in our worlds…!
@Briella It’s always good to see you here. Glad you’re back. Come back tomorrow (and the next day!).
@416mrj one week down! Yesss!
@MrsOdh oh, I wish there was a way to push pause on everything and just get some rest and some Sophia time - living in these conditions is tedious and draining. I hope a solution to tweenie comes soon - for you and for tweenie’s best interest and your family too. Big hugs. 
@Misokatsu overdue from yesterday - hmmmph. I wish he’d thrown you a party. But he didn’t. Like Menno said, we see you. And I celebrate you!
@Fargesia_murielae no, not an idiot! nor an anteater, for that matter, but yes, self-compassion is a little bit foreign here too… They really should make “self-compassion for dummies”! 
@Dazercat yay 404! But wait, isn’t that code for an error message? Ha! I tease. No error, only huge congrats. 
It’s early to tuck in, but I think I need some yoga, some tea, a few more (hundred) recitations of the serenity prayer, and an early night.
G’night, fine people. We did another day. Let’s go get another one tomorrow. 
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Thanks for sharing this 
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Day 74! That is all… 
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Congratulations on 18 months @Fargesia_murielae!! Thank you for sharing the details of your recovery with us.
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Pretty under the weather today. Not only do I suck at expressing emotions, I suck expressing what I feel like when I’m sick. So basically, I just flat out feel funky
Anyway, hoping I feel better tomorrow as I was blah and somber today. So not my personality. Still worked out though, so there’s that. I don’t think I’ve missed a single day since July 
Boo yah!
Sweet dreams sober peeps
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Check in at the end of day 389
Spent the day at the treatment facility and it was alright. Not too busy, had good food, played cards, went to a gratitude meeting. Prayed and did my readings. Always somebody around to talk with. Came home tonight and had a conversation with three of my housemates. Still kind of processing. One of them is off to detox in the morning. Another is denying they did anything wrong claiming it was only cbd oil that absolutely reeks like pot so that’s what I smelt the other day and in the past. I really know nothing about that stuff. Hopefully someone can tell me does it get you high? They appoligized for there actions as did I. I even appoligized for involving the counsellors. I’m not sure if that appology was necessary. Without discussing it with them I am not sure I would have had the conversation. For some reason I allowed their problems to hurt my feelings and that there failings reflect on me. I feel like the support I gave them wasn’t enough. How sick or irrational is that thinking. I am still clean and sober and have more shit to work on. I didn’t even want to engage in these conversation due to fear of confrontation. For an example of that fear, Am I going to freak out, are they, will it turn violent. Another thought, I have abandonment issues that I’m sure stem from my father passing when I was nine years old. Three of my housemates and friends that relapsed are a large part of my support group, my counsellor had been off for months. A large portion of my recovery was taken away when I couldn’t and still can’t attend non treatment center 12 step meetings because of covid. Well fuck if that doesn’t trigger my abandonment issues again as well as all the stress triggering unhealthy thoughts. The addict in me was screaming for attention just numb it all out. Fuck you addict goooo away. I’m very grateful I didn’t relapse. There’s always more to talk about later. I would value any reasonable input or thoughts on this rambling. I am pretty exhausted. Happy to be back home in my bed though that’s for sure.
God bless you all. 
&
P.s Don’t ever forget your awesome. Ya you!!
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Hey, friend - there’s a lot there, and I think you did a pretty solid job making sense of it all yourself! But that doesn’t make it any easier, especially right now when you’re in the thick of it.
You’re doing amazing at naming it all, reaching out, and not picking up. You should be exhausted. And proud.
Get some good solid sleep tonight. We’ll see you tomorrow morning on the GratiDude thread. I have an early meeting for work, so I’ll open up the gratitude lounge and even get the coffee on before @Dazercat gets in. (He never makes it strong enough anyway, if you ask me.)
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Day 33 for me!! Excited for this huge gift from myself and my girlfriend…we agreed to plan a vacation in the summer time to site see, hike, drink coffee and eat yummy food. We decided that with the money we have saved from not drinking since Jan. 1st for her and the 7th for me to go to Seattle for the Fourth of July!
Truly couldn’t be happier and excited for this adventure! We’ve never been and have everything all paid and planned for. Thank you God for giving us the strength to be sober together and for keeping our love and happiness within ourselves and our relationship through the past trials we endured and for all the great (sober) times we will share ahead. 
Seattle and Olympic National Park we are excited to see what you have for us!
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Hey buddy. 
Can’t help with with the CBD oil. I’m staying ignorant on it because I was a pot head for way too many years and I’m afraid of it.
But from Alanon we learn the 3 C’s
Can’t CURE it.
We didn’t CAUSE it.
Can’t CONTROL it
You seem to be a sensitive guy like me. It’s just that we’re so dang caring. And we care what others think about us. They are normal feelings. Learning detachment with love and drawing boundaries takes some work. And it’s not easy.
And all the work you do, by the end of the night you must be exhausted. Just the other night your phone going off all day and late into the night. I’m not 
sure of your position and responsibilities in your houses. But a boundary of shutting off your phone at a certain time could be useful to Brian. Maybe shut it off for an hour during the day.
I’m just saying make time for Brian. You’re so fucking important and you need to come first for your sobriety.
Could be that nicotine addict biting at your ass too. Remember you quit smoking too. You got a lot going on. Plus a fucking pandemic 
I’ll be praying you find peace and God leads your way. And go easy on yourself.
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thanks and i’m kinda scared of the cbd as well he let me smell the bottle tonight it smells strong.
it was a little triggering as i toked it for 20 years and good point yeah i have been wanting to smoke a cigarette I haven’t and hopefully won"t … day 78 no nicotine
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Get a straw. Stick it in your mouth. And suck on it. Bring in that good Canadian air. I used a McDonald’s straw for a month or so. They had good solid fat ones. And I had some nice worry beads. Or put some coins in your pocket and fidget away.
You’re not having a smoke now after 78 days. I come over there and knock it right out of your hands. Don’t make me do. I really don’t want to fly during a pandemic.
Sleep 
Well my friend.
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Day 2, just taking every day at a time again.
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