Courtney…loved your post. You have LOTS going on and have maintained your sobriety. You have lots of people relying on you right now. Such a gift you are giving them. And certainly one less thing for them to worry about.
Wicked busy!! I get it! Grew up in MA.
And…you have a 20 year old??? You look like you are 20. I bet you hear that all the time.
And… keep that asshat neighbor in his place. Seems like you have that under control.
Lastly, I’m sorry about your husband’s grandmother. May your family rely on each other during what is a sad time.
90 days today! This is by far the longest I’ve ever gone without drinking. For the most part it feels really good. Cravings still come knocking at my door every now and when, but I have been good about not opening that door. It’s not always easy, but it’s also getting easier if that makes sense. Cravings are just a fantasy is how I try see it.
Life had been WAY BETTER sober. Trucking onwards to another 90.
88.something.
Almost to my goal of 100.
Not everything is wonderful, but many things are. Less urges at night. Reach for tea & cocoa or cook without debating. So far so good. Hoping it stays this way
Day 166: Was surprised by an urge (or was it just the resurgence of a habit?) last night. Had fish and chips for dinner on a whim and almost grabbed a beer. My husband had picked some up when he went to pick up dinner. Actually, I did grab a beer and then put it back and grabbed a water instead. I expressed out loud that I didn’t actually want to drink, my husband and I talked a bit, and I came on here and read around a bit while we ate and watched a movie. I think it was important to talk about it with my husband. He reiterated that if it is too hard for me to abstain when he still drinks and has alcohol in the house that we can change that. It’s pretty amazing to me that it would be so easy, without thinking, to just start drinking. I likened it to a brain fart, I just went for the beer out of habit. Anyway, I’m glad I caught myself and stopped that from happening. I don’t feel that it is difficult for me now to be sober while my husband drinks. He does so respectfully within our established boundaries and we talk about it enough for me to feel comfortable. He never pushes me to do anything I don’t want to do, either. He’s pretty swell.
Sending out love and sober strength on this Saturday
Checking in:
I was busy with work yesterday and didn’t get on here very much. I’ve come to find so much appreciation for everyone on here. The strength we all endure everyday to make the choice to be sober makes me feel proud of all of us.
Today, I feel well rested and very in tune with my emotions. Monday is coming fast and I’m not ready for it but not because of work or a new week but it will be my baby sisters 35th birthday and she passed away in 2011. She suffered from juvenile diabetes and was also an addict. She died in the hospital while having a congested heart failure episode along with high blood sugar. I miss her every single day. My sister would light up every room she walked into. She was feisty, funny, gorgeous and she had a heart of gold. I have tears just writing this because she meant so much to me. Death anniversary’s and Birthday’s are always very hard. In the past on would stock up on whatever I could get my hands on to numb the pain and would be lost in drugs and drinking for weeks to just get past it. Now On Monday my sister and I planned a dinner with our family for her. Much better choice instead of numbing myself were going to celebrate her and I’ll be present for every minute because today, tomorrow, Monday and every day I choose to stay sober.
Very sorry for your loss Patty. I;m glad you found a new and much better way to commemorate your sister’s passing and honour her presence on earth. Numbing the pain will just make it bigger and deeper in the long run. Yo are truly dealing with it now, in a positive way. Success and strength for Monday. Big hugs.
We all like to celebrate our milestones. Yours is the greatest of all Littlemac! Huge congrats friend. Keep going one day at a time and you’ll never be stopped.
I appreciate it. Hope you enjoy your Saturday 
