That was amazing, did you have a chance to see Abu Simbel as well? Always loved ancient Egypt, Greece, there are just some things that should never be forgotten
Out of 96 days, this has been my absolute hardest, and itās not even over. I rarely drank for social reasons. It was always easy to go have āone or twoā socially because I always had bottles of whiskey and vodka at home to get me where I wanted to be. I drank because I was pissed. I drank because I wanted to numb myself and forget the hard things. So for 96 days Iāve removed the social element with ease, Iāve refused to buy alcohol, and Iāve forced myself to feel every emotion. What I havenāt had to face yet is this level of anger. The last time I felt this way was in the days leading up to my sobriety journey. This feels too heavy. Itās too much to carry. I want to escape it. I want to give upā¦ not just on sobriety, but on living.
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Hang in there. Drinking definitely wonāt help matters. I know it sucks right now but itās gonna be ok.
@anon27700620 Thanks for that, must be amazing to actually see them directly in front of you.
Day 199 baby
Husband is off today so we are taking the usual trip to Costco together. I am a bit worried as Costco involves buying tonnes of binge-worthy food, but gonna have to be strong. I also have another Japanese class later this afternoon, even though my husband is always against me taking them. On some things I can stand up to him.
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You drank bc you are an alcoholic, bc I bet you drank when times were good as well. Life can be tough but we learn to accept that and not use it as an excuse for our own short comings. Life is tough but we are tougher.
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No giving up, @cwak Pleaseā¦ Youāre gonna come out on the other side of this. Stay on here all night if you have to.
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I love the pics Charlie, happy anniversary!
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Man no matter what stay sober. Marriage isnāt permanent, anger isnāt permanentā¦ alcoholism is. The only thing about alcoholism that isnāt permanent is the stage weāre in, itāll only get worse.
Better days are coming, Iām sure tomorrow will be better than today. Milestones are hard, staying sober is hard sometimes BUT living in active alcoholism is so much harder, Iām sure you remember.
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Checking in, sober and mostly having a good day! I was working on getting a printer set up todayā¦it proved able to kick my ass. Kind of frustrating, but I made it home and all is well, just reading the stuff you fine folks posted today. Happy Thursday!
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You have a beautiful bride Charlie. Happy anniversary 
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I guess itās safe to say Iāve made it through the day sober. Stores are closing soon and Iām not leaving home. To be completely honest, Iām sober and mad about it. I would rather be drunk right now. I know tomorrow morning would be a nightmare if thatās what I chose to do, and I guess thatās why I abstained. But I hate feeling the way I feel right now. I donāt know when these feelings will go away. I donāt know how to deal with them. Damn ā¦ whereās the victory? How long before āIām glad I didnāt give inā comes along? Does life ever get better, or is it still full of shit, but without the alcohol to numb it now? I know Iām working from a very angry and emotional place right now, but itās how I feel.
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- Checking in/out
Itās been a long couple of days and I havenāt been on much. Iām working so much and I love it but Iām exhausted. My hours have been crazy all week because Iām working the COVID vaccine clinic on patient registration. The constant movement has irritated my sciatica and Iām currently in bed in some massive pain. I took some Motrin and prednisone for the pain. After I stopped using I was so afraid to face the pain that my body goes through with RA and lupus. But, now Motrin and prednisone do the trick and I tolerate it and only medicate when it gets unbearable and then thatās just Motrin and prednisone. I have to say that makes me proud. I got use to the Dr.ās never telling me no when I asked for narcotics I was always able to get more and each dr appointment I would tell them my pain was getting worse and would always get a strong med. At one point I denied all of that would tell my parents I was only taking Norco when I was really on morphine and higher then a kite. I feel truly BLESSED to have overcome my addiction and work hard every day to maintain my sobriety. I am a better Mom, daughter, sister, Tt, cousin and friend. I feel like I said this before but this is what is on my mind tonight and I missed my meeting yesterday because I was at work until 7p. Have a good night all.
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Good day Talking Sober family! I hope everyone is well! Checking in on Day 10. Tired yet feel strong. Friday is usually my day to use/drink so I have a plan I place with my kids. Frustration over the childrenās father blaming me for our 16 year old daughter not wanting to talk to him because of his abusive behavior towards meā¦its my influence he says oh well. Heās an addict as well I pray he gets help. I breath and keep trucking along refuse to take on his quilt any longer. Day 11 tomorrow. Thank God. Blessings to all. 1 day at a time.
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Iām sorry your having a rough day. But everyday your sober is a victory you should be proud of yourself because even though your coming from an angry place you still choose to stay sober. Congrats on another day sober. Sending you positive thoughts.
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Day 152 booze/26 smoking. It has been a hellacious week at work, and it feels like Iāve had about twenty minutes to myself in the past four days. It seems like a lot of us are having a rough time today. I am proud of each and every one of us doing what we need to do to stay sober in spite of everything thatās going on.
@Charlie_C, thanks for sharing the pictures! Happy anniversary!
@cwak, Iām sorry youāre having such a bad day. You can get through this sober. Just hang in there and keep breathing.
@WCan, good job on working through your bad day! Iām glad youāre here with us.
Weāve all survived 100% of the bad days weāve experienced this far. Letās keep going!
@Briella and @RosaCanDo, how are yāall doing?
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Day 378~ Very interesting yet pleasantly unexpected day. To say I had a busy day today is an understatement. Work has been terrible. Itās so busy and no help. My computer has been slow as shit. Just frustrating. I had to show the vacant apartment to a bunch of tenants. Oh and I had to fix an ice cream machine and do a delivery. Itās been insane. At least the dumb ass neighbor hasnāt been around pissing people off.
Anywaysā¦ I donāt mean to bitch too much.
I actually did something today that I never thought I would do. I watched a sermon and I really enjoyed it. Now let me just say I always was one of those āIām not really religious but I do believe in a higher powerā. The pastor was talking about relationships and how you need to work on them and the things you must do to have successful ones. Any kind of relationships. It really struck a cord with me. I found myself laughing at some points and even cried a little. I dunno I just really enjoyed it. It really opened my eyes and mind to something I never saw myself doing or thinking about. I took a lot away from it and it gave me a lot in return.
I guess I would just say be open to different things. There is always room to learn more and tools to help us get through this crazy thing we call life. Keep fighting 
Tell yourself every morning when you wake up today I am worth it.
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Great to hear about that pastor and sermon you saw Courtney. Thatās how I found God again. A couple of good pastors can make all the difference in the world. Keep that open mind. I did. And it helped me a lot. Itās about the only thing I miss moving out of Austin. Is my pastor. I havenāt found another like him since.
Good for you.
I feel church and AA meetings are very similar. Thereās one out there for everyone if you can find it. And not all of them may fit what your looking for.
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