Feeling really run down today. Woke up super early all clammy & with a headache. Didn’t go to work. Trying to stay focused! But not making the gym
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What new interface ?
Guess it still takes again some time for android users 
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@Misokatsu
do you ever get REALLY frustrated with the Kanji ? Sometimes I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall.
But then… when I remember them, I’m pretty happy with myself.
Still… not easy. Even learning Russian was easier than this !!
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I didn’t use porn today!
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Checking in with 94 days of sobriety behind me. HUGE win today … got my counseling appointment scheduled for March 4. Big sigh of relief here. Really hoping I can take some meaningful steps forward. @littlemisschatterbox
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Sarah, this is just awful. Please don’t give up. 
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I know it’s an awful feeling Sarah but you know drinking isn’t going to get you that money back. How about something sweet? Chocolate or ice cream?
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Thanks. Im going to try my best to make it through today. 
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@Will3 congrats on 9 months 
@RetainKing congrats on 90 days
@Freckles that’s very unsupportive of your bf to say. It sounds like it’s still a very new job, you’re still learning, go easy on yourself, sending strength 
@Luckyredz welcome back 
@Gonefishin congrats on double digits
@Bomdhil sorry for your loss 
197 days no alcohol.
165 days no cocaine.
I went to the support group, the same thing happened as the reason why I stopped going, there are 2 weeks left so I may go to those while they are available. With that ending, and the DBT ending, and my other PD support group ending mid March, I’ll be left with nothing. It’s a little worrying, but I’m sure I’ll be alright.
Really struggling with the eating disorder, it’s so out of hand at the moment. Next time I manage to get back on my diet I won’t be allowing myself any treats, because anything I like the addict in me just abuses and I can’t stop and it makes me feel guilt, shame, and despair. I am powerless. I pray for recovery from this illness
Got out for the walk though so that was good, need to keep it up despite the pain I’m in that’s worsening, because it clears my head. Might wait a while before trying to add a morning one in too as the pain is almost unbearable to walk on, a bit better after an hour on ice thankfully though.
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@anon27700620 I quite like kanji, so I don’t get super frustrated. I get far more frustrated with the onomatopoeic words, they all get muddled in my head.
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@Clarity
Jesus, I don’t know what to say. With stock markets I guess u use “surplus” money, i.e. not the money u live on? Is it connected to the bad economy due to corona? With the vaccine starting up, the economy should improve too.
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I’m so sorry for your situation, Sarah. Finances are a very anxiety inducing subject for me even when things are good. I can only imagine how you must feel. But I do believe that you can make it through today. I believe that you can stop and ask your HP for the next right thought or action. I believe it because I’ve seen you do it for 7 months. Life may change but that doesn’t take away from your experiences and the recovery you’re on. Don’t let fear over the future take away from all that is around you now. I hope that you can find the support you need today.
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Checking in day 418.59
Back is still killing me. Less worse anyway. My chiropractor saw me again this am. Getting a lot of bed time with my pets. Lunchtime change of scenery in my chair on ice. Days like today really makes me grateful for my health. I’m generally always in pretty good health. But this back thing flares up every once and awhile. It’s been more than a year since this happened to me. So I’m really grateful for that. The last time it happened I bet I was already numbing the pain with wine and booze.
At least I’m sober.
Bored out of my fucking mind sober.
You all stay sober ya hear!!
I will.
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You’re not a fuck up Sarah. Just breathe. I don’t know much about stocks. I do have some. But we just ride it out. Stocks go up and stocks go down. Hopefully yours will rebound. You can do this. You’re so much stronger than you use to be.
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Thank you.
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70 day’s today!!,
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I took the day off from social media yesterday to be with my family so we could celebrate what would be my beautiful sisters 35th birthday.image|307x500, 75%
My parents always have such a hard time on her Birthday so I sent my Mom flowers from me and siblings and got my Dad a card with some lotto tickets. I thought why not give my parents a gift since the pain of loosing a child is so tremendous. I had lunch with my older sister and we talked about all the memories we had with my little sister. It was a good day. Even though I miss my sister terribly I didn’t pick up and that is something to be proud of. Her birthday is usually the kick off to my binges because I would numb myself through the end of March because the anniversary my husbands death is the 26th of February and my daughters the 25th of March. I am so grateful that I no longer have to use drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of their losses. Have a good night. 
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