@Rockstar24777 they all sound like valid reasons not to take the job right now. Sending more prayers and strength your way 
@Pickles congrats on your month 
@Littlemac congrats on 2 weeks
@Squirt Thank you so much, I too believe that things all happen at the right time, keeping the faith and trying in the meantime 
@mleclaire congrats on 2 years
206 days no alcohol.
174 days no cocaine.
ā¦1 day no binge-eating! 
Iāve started reading a much better book about recovering from binge-eating, I relate to it so much and so far Iām getting the idea that itās more in line with how we recover from addictions, which is how Iāve always felt about it, the same obsessive compulsions and regret and distress and self-loathing, so I did that this morning instead of ordering food to binge in front of the TV. I have also managed to separate the addict voice and my true voice, like I did with the cocaine, this changed everything for me, so Iām feeling really hopeful now.
I slept much better last night but had some of the most awful nightmares Iāve had in a long time, and Iām reminded that thatās what nicotine does to me, however, I try to see it as my mind working through stuff and just let it be. It can be exhausting though.
Iāve still got a migraine so Iāve been applying white tiger balm all day, my body feels heavy all over too, but these are both common side effects of the vaccine and Iām taking it as a sign that my body is doing the work to build up immunity to start protecting me from Covid effects, so grateful for that.
I forgot to add that yesterday, when my recovery worker called, she said that it shouldnāt be too long til the CA in person meetings start back up, so Iām looking forward to getting back to that. The thing that concerns me is the whole sponsor thing, I canāt stand phone calls, my brains doesnāt turn thoughts to speech easily, and I donāt even call my friends or family because I never know what to say. I communicate with everyone in text, so I donāt know how that would work with a sponsor as I know youāre supposed to phone them everyday. Itās the part thatās always put me off a bit. Sheās also doing her own āpodsā, sheās currently got one with a group of 3 guys, 2 whom are 6 weeks clean from cocaine, and another whoās not quite there, she asked if Iād like to join next Thursday night to help give some hope to the others, so I think will, though I canāt imagine myself saying much, I struggle with speech in person as well as on the phone, especially in groups, but I think itās worth giving it a try and pushing myself a bit.
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thought very simple. I felt stupid 
thank you very much. Actually I have accessed 200 club 
thank you friend 
