Checking in, Day 9. Still trying to process the guilt I have for my relapse. I really wish I could check in saying 65 days. But I can’t undo the past.
I’ve had a crazy offer, my husband and I got offered a space downtown in our city to open our own restaurant. My boss will be moving to another city and will be taking her restaurant with her in June, so the space is available. We considered it, but all things taken in, it’s really expensive first year to open a new restaurant, and covid throws a huge curve ball into it, so we passed. Now I’m just trying to stay positive, as the job I loved will be over in June now. Telling myself at least this solves my issue of having no babysitter for the kids set up.
Anyways, just wanted to share what I’ve been going through, day off today, I’ll be cleaning house and relaxing, maybe getting outside if it’s not too cold. Hope everyone enjoys their day!
Hang in there and give the guilt away pray ask for forgiveness and leave it at the foot of God. Than grab His hand and walk with Him the rest of the day. Praying for you. God Bless you.
Thank you 
I am feeling a little better atleast made it to work today lol. The shame and regret feeling has gone a bit, this just all feels like a dream, much love girl.
I’ve done the same guilt trip when I relapsed. Its easy to go to the negative and dwell there. I’ve learned it helps to look at the positive. Perhaps try thinking about % of days sober - for example, even with a relapse you’ve been sober 98.4% of the last 65 days! Remember, its “progress not perfection” - you’re still kickin’ it!!!
14days clean.
This time doubling down on meetings to help keep me on the straight and narrow.
Also my Dr has prescribed me SSRI’s (not a route I wanted to go down but i’ll try anything that stops the panic attack triggers).
Hope you all keeping sane & well
Hey everyone!
Checking in with 228 days…
Reading @Dolse71s post about how we think we know everything, reminded me that I dont know everything. I need to stay connected and not stray too far from my support group. Love all you beautiful sober people! 
Wish I had more to report but my life has been pretty bland. Party tomorrow though so thats exciting… 
Hey everyone, checking in on day 268.
@anon60334405 huge congrats on 400 days!! That’s awesome man.
@Dejavu I’m stealing that meme if you don’t mind, i love it.
I hope everyone is doing well. Stay safe and sober everybody 
I listened to a podcast about this very thing earlier. The idea that we are now living awake instead of just sleepwalking through life. It was fascinating. The idea that we feel all of our emotions more keenly - even the bad ones. But when we are sober, we recognise them for what they are.
I am finding that things are nowhere near as troublesome when I look at them head on, and without frayed nerves and anxiety. It’s when you half see them in your peripheral vision that they seem monstrous and difficult, so you numb them away and allow them to grow even bigger in your head.
what was the podcast?
Milestones mess with me. It just brings everything to the front of your mind. 400 days is a big milestone, too. Just lean on that willpower for a day or two and you’ll be back into normal, dull (but fantastic) sober days.
Those milestones can be fuckers for sure. Nice work on the 400 days you can have my seat in the 400 club 
500 days Well I’m 500 days stone cold sober and i must say that i greatly prefer living life this way. I still find myself a few times every 100 or so days wanting to get fucked up. Its a bummer that still happens every now and then but it could be worse. it just reminds me that I’m still an alcoholic.
I see some really awesome milestones here, keep it up ODAAT.
Don’t be a disgustin Justin, Be a magic Mike 
, well done mate 
(This came up while I was looking for goose GIFs and I liked it!)
Yes, its on my plan for this week to seek and talk to a therapist. Too many days of crocodile tears tell me I am not processing like I need to be. Thank you
I’m not sure that I entirely agree that depression is such a bad thing. I understand that it can be rather difficult for many people, but some people – like me – get used to it, and it becomes something of its own type of support. It’s kind of comforting to have that depression upon which to rely.
So you see, at times when I’m feeling worse about myself than I usually do, I can take some comfort from the fact that it isn’t anything new, it’s just my ordinary level of depression having picked up for a day or two. It usually settles down again after that.
Personally, I wish that I could kill off all of my feelings… No feelings of all… That would be nice.
Day 271 clean and sober today. I’m healing really well here at this hospital and they are so nice here. I’m breathing a lot better now and am on day 3 no smoking (in the hospital so I can’t anyway). I’m thinking it’s best if I don’t start again once I get out of here. The Mortuary contacted me yesterday and were able to fax over paperwork to the nurses station so I could sign. It was really nice of them and the nurses to help me out like that. I was just thinking when I was writing that last sentence that it’s so surreal that my son has passed. I feel so out of it with everything that’s happened (hospital, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of using, healing from Faith, healing from so many things at once) I can’t believe that there are so many things that I am dealing with at one time. God to me is definitely the strength getting me through this. I don’t know if that made sense. It’s like there are so many things that I need to heal from that I almost (not forget) but am so engaged in one thing then it flips to another and I go oh shit I’m healing from that too. Anyways, I love you guys, have a great day. 
Day 205
It’s a very busy week, I’m doing year-end performance interviews. At the same time, I started to manage a new project. I used to drink to relax in the evenings while doing these before. Now I made a nice hibiscus tea
Congratulations Dan on your 500 days of sobriety.
Thanks for showing us the ropes and how important it is to always be on the look out no matter how many days we got. Never taking your sobriety for granted.
So glad you’re on our team.
Woo Hoo Crushing it on 400 days MIke! How awesome.
Ya another motorcycle gif 
Have a great day.