Thank you so much @Fargesia_murielae!!! 
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So.proud of you Julia. You have nothing to be ashamed of . Your here and trying your best. Xxx
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OMG I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sometimes things that happen in this life arenāt meant for us to understand, but to draw on the strength from within to make us stronger and carry on. Losing a sibling unexpectedly, at such a young age is so difficult to swallow. I lost my brother when he was 43, coming up on 13 years now in August and it is something that was incredibly hard to move forward from. Anyway, please know if you would want to ātalkā Iād be here for you, anytime. Many hugs to you.
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Hello you lovely gentleman. Lovely to see you here as well. Hope your keeping well my friend x
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Day 3 No Porn No masturbation.
Working with the coach
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Iām so sorry to hear of your brothers passing. Sending love and prayers to you and your family. 
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Congratulations Rob the big 300!! 
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@marcusmaximus2000 My deepest condolences. That was a beautiful share though.
@Rockstar24777 Congratulations!
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Thank you so much @Bomdhil, @littlemisschatterbox, @Dragonflygirl82 and @Misokatsu I really appreciate it so much!!!
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Was feeling inspired this morning. Now not so much. My brain is playing this trick on me. I replased over the last weekend, but because I didnāt do anything bad (this time) and didnāt end up calling a coke dealer while intoxicated, my mind is sort of telling me āsee you can control itā why does this happen 
now I have this boredom feeling again that my weekend is going to be a tedious task. However when I was sober for 30 days I felt great, so why do I want to ruin it?
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Day 240
Busy back at work. Kinda enjoying feeling useful and productive. Still some little things make me feel unsure or anxious, but generally grateful for how life is going.
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Oh, Marcus! Condolences to you, and peace too from knowing your brother is at peace.
I hope your Mom is finding some peace in her grief as well.
And yes, you have family here! 
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@DLS OMG Donna, Iām sooooo happy youāre back. I really missed you and thought of you often.
@Mno Those are some awesome numbers my friend; congratulations on 22 months. Please know you do give back to this community. Your posts have encouraged me to peel back some layers and dig deeper. Your presence here is felt & appreciated.
@marcusmaximus2000 Iām so sorry to hear about your brother. May the Creator grant you strength to get through this difficult time and allow you to celebrate your brotherās life rather than mourn his passing.
@Rockstar24777 Look at you bro!! 300 days is fanfrickentabulous. You remind me that thereās nothing life can throw us that is worth losing our sobriety over. Your strength stayed lit during the darkness and Iām fucken proud of you bro.
296 days. I need to reach out for advice today. My roommate has gotten under my skin and Iām not certain what I should do going forward. Do I confront the asshole or just know heās an asshole and ignore him? Yesterday I purchased both he and I a bingo card for last nightās bingo. When I came home I said hello to him again and got no response as there has been no response the previous two days when I said good morning or good day. I had decided yesterday that Iām just done with him and any further effort is deemed futile and undesirable. I spoke to my man about it last night and explained that Iām ok with the roommate not liking me and going forward I would have nothing to do with him. My man appeared to support my choice and then shocked the shit out of me. Apparently the roommate texted him yesterday questioning if he needs a lock on his bedroom door as he indicated I had stolen from him. This fucken set me off. I donāt lie, cheat or steal and Iāll be damned if the fucker is going to accuse me of shit. While keeping my cool I told the roommate if he had a fucken problem with me to talk to me and not go crying to my man. I then left the house going to the camper to play bingo. I could feel my temper boiling and knew he lit a fuse. All kinds of thoughts of what Iād like to say to him went through my head. If I had the power, I would tell him he doesnāt need a lock on his bedroom door, he needs a new door to his own house as he can get the fuck out of here. Somehow I need to address his accusation and find closure or Iām going to fucken lose it on him. I come from a place of conflict resolution but right now I would find great pleasure in beating the shit out of him. I have reached out to two friends and am hoping one of them may come sit here as a middle person when I confront the roommate. I will try to write out what I want to say to better prepare for talking to him calmly. The tension and anxiety is building as I write about it and I know I wonāt feel better until Iāve said something. I LOVE that I donāt even feel like drinking. Iām the better person and heās a piece of shit thatās just not worth it.
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That tricky sneaky thing. Our brain needs itās chemical fix. Tries to trick you quite often. It will keep trying different tricks, sometimes subtle enough to be dangerous.
Take care my friend. This is your journey. You gave it up because you wanted something out of your sobriety. You worked hard to stay sober because you needed something. Do this for yourself. Yourself alone. Your will blame yourself the most, if you slip.
Stay safe. Find something to remind you of your journey. A talisman. Just remember it gets easier 
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Thank you @Squirt I really appreciate that! As far as your roommate is concerned I like the idea of you writing out what youād like to say and also having a friend there as well to help keep things balanced. Iām super proud of you Michelle, you got this!!!
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Good to have you back, gurl! 
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