I absolutely can relate. It’s sucks and it feels like a missed opportunity. Pretty much every friend we have had die from heroin OD we have felt that way. But one girl in particular. She was a causalty of a partner addicted and became addicted and we didn’t expect Dru to live after a lot of interventions but we had hope for her. He died and then she followed soon after. Then their best friend. All my hubby’s band mates. It’s some fucked up shit. And yet we have so many friends in recovery now which is amazing that they have turned their life around. Getting married and having babies. Hang in there, amigo. You can get through this dark time and come out stronger.
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Day 930 and on the binge it’s 8 I guess.
Feeling good today. Believe it or not it stopped raining. I got some parcels and will move the rest of the tomatoes in a bigger pot.
Later a walk with a friend
Have a good and sober Saturday.
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Thank you for asking. I think I am doing okay at the moment. I’ve certainly felt much better the last couple of weeks.
I can only explain it as feeling like a switch changed within me: an ‘enough is enough’ moment. So it feels like that determination is carrying me through and making me feel hopeful right now. I’m aware this may change over time so I’m trying to build in habits that will prevent me from becoming complacent.
I have also started therapy recently. I agree it is a learning experience. I’m finding my feet a little with it. I’m glad you feel it is helping! We deserve deserve do anything and everything we can to help ourselves 
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So sorry about your Pa, Sophia.
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Those are some badass numbers Alice. Good for you.
Glad your loving it.
Congratulations on all those great numbers.
You’re so worth it.
So pleased you saw sense, that is a good feeling.
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Oh no Eric, I’m sorry about the abnormal EKG, as it’s piling up with your other issues … it sounds like you’ve done the ablation before, I hope you don’t have to go trough another one. Even though it may hold you from traveling, I’m glad you seem to have doctors you trust, that’s the most important 
One of my mentors once said: the healthy person has many wishes, the sick person only has one" (I hope it translates well 
). Wish you a speedy recovery and a smooth dealing with everything!
@Beforemy30s yay for handling social situations 
the restaurants opened again in Vienn only a couple of days ago, but I’ll be here sipping tea on my couch for now. I really don’t miss going out yet
@MrsOdh I’m so sorry about your father, but I’m happy you and your family have such beautiful ways of celebrating his life. My heartfelt condolences!
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- Ms. Monkey and I made it all the way to West Virginia last night. On our way to Florida today. It’s been nice taking a road trip with her.
The day before we left, both of us at work had craptastic days at work. Honestly, we figured we would do barely any driving yesterday. It all worked out and we got 400 miles in.
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Morning everyone day 103 for me and a nice weekend planned of me time .
My partner has his 7 year old son for the weekend, he had him late in life -48 which I struggle with tbh as I have my grandchild the same age . Anyway I’m leaving them to it. I see our relationship in a lot clearer way now I’m sober and I’m not convinced it’s going to work out between us which is something I need to work out.
Anyway have my second COVID jab today and lots planned after it . Have a lovely weekend all of you ! Sober and clean etc x
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@Lisa07 hope you feeling better very soon.
@MrsOdh Sophia so sorry to read about the loss of your dad, he sounds a lovely character, big virtual squeeze to you .
@apes enjoy your weekend having a rest from work, your temperature are bizarre for sure
@M-be-free49 you certainly made the right choice what a beautiful picture of your pooch and scenery…
@RosaCanDo @Beforemy30s relate so much when I look back I can laugh at some but others I thank my lucky stars I am here. The dangerous situations you get yourself into are unreal, all because of stupid alcohol… makes no sense at all.
146 days done happy with that feel in my stride.
Having my 2nd jab in an hour will be pleased when that done.
Weather has been just rain, more rain and rain in UK, rivers are full, so booked in at the lido tomorrow really looking forward to it certainly won’t be as cold.
Preparing a presentation for my interview this weekend at least I know I will give it my best shot as i am sober. I love weekends now, tootle about with a clear head it means so much to me. Yes work in progress but at least there is progress.
Enjoy your day everyone, good and sober it’s such a gift 
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Thanks Rosa,
I almost want to find a way to reach out to her daughter, she is an adult now and I’m unsure she’ll remember me, but part of me wants answers. Like she was 42, not exactly elderly and feeble… I did find out she was arrested for public intox a year prior, but her obituary just said she died at home, I’m afraid to hear that the dope game got her too,
If there’s one person who was a total blessing in disguise it was her, incredibly intelligent, very wise and spiritually intelligent, She had this glow to her, that made you realize there was something special about her. There really wise. I always said she was like one of the wise elders of a village had all the answers.
Can’t understand why a good soul, though heavily tortured had to leave so soon. I often say she’s lucky she got out of this life. But yet so much left unanswered,
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Hey everyone, into Day 5. Feeling good about it. Lets make this one more Day sober. Much love to you all!
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Day 9 finished successfully. Onto day 10 today which was a potential risk day. I’ve been on it discussing my worries about today with my wife and best mate. Being truly accountable with nowhere to hide makes it so much easier and actually likely that I will manage it. Still vigilant though…
Had a bit of a wobble yesterday, I’ve had a bit of a strange relationship with gaming and drinking. The 2 are heavily associated together for me. Although before when I was sneaking drink, computer gaming would tend to be something of an excuse to be alone so o could sneak it better…but I do enjoy it. I felt like I needed to break this association by playing computer sober and reminding myself that they are fun and I do enjoy them in moderation. I felt a bit funny during and after, so I made sure to go off with my wife and talk about it. We just speculated and I found this way of going over my thoughts really gets them out of my head and I can make sense of it better.
I’ll carefully carve out an hour to do the same and see how I get on.
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- Got to sleep in as I shift from early to late shifts. Not really rested. Lots of dreams I don’t remember, some had to do with using because I woke up with a feeling I had to reset. I’m feeling off the last couple of days. Might have to do with a big milestone coming up, might have to do with the 3 week break I had in my group therapy, might have to do with things between my bestie and me not going too swell atm.
It’s probably all together. I’m disappointed I feel like this. Wasn’t it all supposed to get better all the time? I know that’s not how it works. I need to keep working on my life and on myself. I will. You all help me here with that. More than you’ll ever know. Let’s stay sober and clean together. One day at a time. Have as good a weekend as you all can. Love from Luna and me.
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I cant do recover without this place, it was the tool that i used daily to keep my self accountable… But stepping away and being angry at myself that my sex addiction is on a constant relapse… And for my sobriety i need to be here in this corner remembering that i am an addict… Before i spiral… I dont want to lose the clean days i have 9months i want to get to 10 months…
I don’t want to relapse in drugs I need here, i need the help, the focus and the kick in the ass to keep plugging one day at a time!
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I’m very happy to see you Danni. We’re in this together and that’s what makes all the difference. Seeing we can’t do it alone is of the utmost importance.To all of us. Welcome back. Big big hugs.
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@Dazercat That is a lot to be dealing with. Glad u are sober to handle it.
@anon27760155 I believe in you!
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My daughter had a little birthday party today. Just a couple of friends, and donuts and tiramisu instead of a birthday cake. They had a balloon fight in the house and played tag in a nearby park. My husband kept calling the tiramisu ‘tortilla’ and I am weird for laughing at him.
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That would be great. I learn also with your help that it’s the small things that give me pleasure. Not an image of perfection. Progress not perfection as I often read here. Sometimes I get the impression that I am stuck. Maybe it’s just some time to breathe, stabilise or a small detour.
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Day 1. How annoying. Least I got straight back on it
@apes2020 I know 
I had stupid thoughts about having a drink which seemed like perfectly reasonable thoughts at the time. What an idiot
@Dolse71 thank you!!!
@M-be-free49 thanks
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Hey all, 342 here. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
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