Still free from that bondage of self, I even refused non alcoholic beer today, why would I drink it its like being an artificial alcoholic and still wasting my money on expensive shit tasting pointless fizzy drink.
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checking in so as I’m driving I see trucker pulling my old fav beer no urges no tempting thoughts win win let’s goooooo
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Been there done that! 
You’re doing good, Trucker…
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Thanks for sharing this! Things are about to get cray 
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Glad to see you back Seb!
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This is the place to be utterly honest so, I am having a REALLY hard time lately. Everything was flowing nicely and I was really in the groove with self care, food and exercise. It all hit the fan with an injury of my own plus my mom fell and broke her wrist and pelvis. She lives alone and it’s been really hard. I am grateful she can afford caregivers, but is confined to a couch and wheelchair so it’s honestly a nightmare. To get really honest, I’ve been dealing with falls and ER’s and surgeries and rehab and more rehab with her since I was in my 20s (I’m 43). She is in recovery but very stubborn and hasn’t taken very good care of herself. She also blames others for anything that goes wrong in her life and I’m at my wits end. I know this sounds super selfish and I am grateful she is still with us as it has come very close, but it’s been a lot for a lot of years. I needed to get that out. Thank you.
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Hello. I’m checking in day 25. Today we returned from our hotel stay. My family had a lot of fun swimming in the pool. It was a good time. The only drawback was my son left his expensive iPad behind and when we return to the hotel an hour later, the staff informed us that after they cleaned the room they could not find it. So we’re not happy about that. We did file a police report, but my son is experiencing a great loss.
The world has problems. There’s no such thing as living in a problem-free world. As for me and my recovery, I did not initiate sex with my wife as I promised myself last Saturday. Nor have I worked out since last Saturday. So to make amends to myself, those are two things that I would like to do before the end of the day tomorrow. I do like the fact that I’ve been practicing much better hygiene. I’ve been flossing my teeth every day, but I would like to floss them every night as well which I’ve not started doing. I do like the fact that I’ve been demonstrating better custody of my eyes. Over the weekend, there have been a lot of opportunities to ogle at women around me. And I’m discovering that it’s a major symptom of my nice guy syndrome. I’m guilty of constantly seeking validation from everyone around me, except myself. And I’ve reminded myself that the more difficult it is for me to maintain custody of my eyes and mind, the more it points to my own falling short of treating myself with value and self worth.
God has made it clear to me how important it is for me to demonstrate that I love myself. He doesn’t want me going around thinking of myself as trash. And no one’s going to be able to do that for me. God has given me everything that I need to demonstrate that for myself.
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9m 14d
Feeling this lately. Things are far from bad, but having to dig a little deeper than always. And trying to remember what it was like before, and be realistic and grateful. Oh, you are procrastinating your work? At least you didn’t call in sick. Oh, you threw together an easy meal for dinner cos you can’t be arsed? At least you didn’t make some weird concoction because you were drunk. Oh, you spent a bit too much money online? At least you got a pair of earrings and didn’t literally piss away your money. Oh, you are letting the kids watch too much YT? At least they aren’t scared to come home in case you are in a state.
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I didn’t really know either until I started researching it a bit. I don’t remember life without it. When I was really little I remember it just annoyed me so much, but I thought it was just part of life. I’ve been researching if there’s a cure, but it’s not looking so good. Just like “where does space end?” it’s “what is silence?”
I really hope yours gets better because I can’t imagine what it’s like to have quiet and then having it taken away.
I always have background noise, talk way too much, sleep with the TV on (Forensic Files!). Anyway, crossing fingers and toes yours heals!!!
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Glad to hear your weekend went well,
Self care is important, I think Addicts of any form tend to neglect themselves,
On top of that from what I’m gathering in this book, NGS also causes neglect in self care. Cause your too busy attending to someone else’s needs,
I’ve noticed a lot of the traits I may experience also are familiar,
I have to be the top of the heirachy in my career, (master auto tech, master machinist) critical care paramedic, for me I have to reach the highest level possible, possibly a validation seeking behavior, but I’ve always been an excellent teacher, and had no problem bringing the FNG in and helping them learn and mentor them.
As far as your sons iPad, I don’t know if you have it linked to any other device, but I know my find my stuff works great
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Day 329.
A pretty good day. A sideways, blow-your-house-down wind, so changed my plans to indoor day. Thought I’d get ahead(ish) on a work thing, but could tell I was going to spend the better part of the day avoiding it, so made a conscious decision to bail on it and do fun home stuff. (yep, it’s that bad a task that it makes household organization fun!)
In the before time, I’d have kept avoiding it and started sipping too = total waste of time. So, I may not be ahead on work, but yep @Misokatsu, I wasn’t day-drunk by dinner either. Relieved to have given that up!
I just read thru our thread and a tour of our days. We’ve done well, friends. Let’s add another one to the pile tomorrow, yeah?
G’night all, big huge thanks for sharing another day. 
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Please Margaret know that your not selfish at all!
Don’t forget to look after yourself. You can’t help your mom if you have a burnout yourself.
Maybe open up to her too and set some boundaries to protect yourself from getting drained? (Hope I explain myself well enough, English is not my foreign lanquage).
@Jonachav123 congratulations with your
days!! 
And @Tomek with your milestone of 
days! 
whole week for @Chosen2001, congratulations Chris!! 
@MrsOdh a BIG HUG for you 
Day 979
Made a long walk in the rain yesterday with my hubby. We went for the smugglers path on the border with belgium. In the old days they used this path to smuggle sugar, meat, butter and other stuff. I found a painted traveler stone in a small chapel on the road. It has a code on the back so you can log it and after that you can let it take it’s path again.
The sentence sort of means: I give you support.
Wel we could all use some of that!
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This is a good, safe place to get that all out! Sounds like you have travelled quite a road on that journey, for some time already. Sending your mom my best for a speedy recovery, and sending you strength to get through this latest hurdle. I’m guilty of not listening to this advice (when it comes to my mom’s needs) but don’t forget you have to put your own oxygen mask on first…
EDIT: @SoberWalker beat me to it! 
But the message is worth repeating. Take good care of yourself and your sobriety.
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Sorry you are having a hard time. And it doesn’t sound selfish at all. It sounds like a lot. Do whatever you can to take care of yourself and so something for you. 
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It is day 40 for me. I’m thrilled.
Going to get up early now and do pilates before work. I’m seeing friends tonight and looking forward to it, though to be honest I’ve been craving time alone recently to reenergise. I know I will enjoy it and feel grateful for it when I’m there though. I remind myself that soon I won’t live in the same country as these people and be able to pop over for a midweek dinner; it reminds me of how thankful I am for the networks I’ve built in my life and to appreciate them. Ah, gratitude 
Have great days everyone x
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Quick check in on day 150. Been mentally busy with the jobs and preparation for interview tomorrow…
I could never do all this if I was drinking that I do know.
Very tired but focused , I really want this role. Its about keeping people in their homes so similar to what I am doing now. It’s for a large Housing Association, pay is good, pension, good holidays etc… submitted my presentation at 1 this morning, due 9 this morn and I am pleased with my effort… if I get it can give up the early morning cleaning job… which I need to go to now.
Congrats on all your milestones, your insight and support ,you are such amazing people
Have a strong sober day 
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So my counter Just turned 1 week. It feels good. In the same time I think about the not drinking again. Like, never to have a drink on a hit summerday while bbq or at a get togheter. In one way it feels Sad and on the other side fantastic. Should not think forward, only for this Day. Its strange, bittersweet. Anyways, it really feels Great to not feeling all the feels alcohol gives me. My body feels good, my mind is clear.
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You are not being selfish at all Margaret. It is hard what you’re doing. I had to do that for about 10 years long distance with both parents RIP when they were going through Alzheimer’s and dementia. And falling. You can’t stop them from falling. Emotionally it’s brutal. It’s so hard.
And as Brian said @I.cant.We.can
When he wasn’t around a bit. He was being selfish to his recovery. And that’s perfectly ok. You be selfish to your recovery because your worth it. And you’ll be so much better for it.
When your in the trenches with mom. Remember to breathe. There’s always time for breathing exercises.
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