I’m sorry you had to experience a nightmare but, so glad you are checking in and reflecting on your dreams and the emotions and thoughts it has brought to the forefront. What a timely read (I am reading it as well but not far along) and a great plan for journaling and meditation to help get back to sleep. I hope you feel more relaxed and can ease back into sleep peacefully.
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Congratulations on 30 days you have packed so many positive steps into these days. Well done 
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Hitting the pillow clean tonight with…
substance free under my belt.
Rest easy everyone or… have a great Wednesday.
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Congratulations on your 30 days April.
Taking it one beautiful day at a time over here.
Thank you for your support. I hope you are too.
We got this right!!!
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Don do so Mike, don’t isolate yourself. It makes things worse! This app is for people like you and me, in all stages of our recouvery. In our good ànd bad days. So stay! I’m glad your back here and I think many with me.
A big hug for you Mike
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You may already be in Finland, plane flight accomplished.
If not here are some ideas.
You do want to fly sober.
You want to fly as calm as you can. Let the flight attendants know you’re anxious about flying. Ask them to give you a thumbs up when they go down the aisle.
If you’re able to sit where you can see them inflight. Then you will see them chatting and happy when you may be less so.
Tell your seat mates that you’re anxious about flying. They hopefully will be nice and hold your hand if you get scared.
Take the anti anxiety meds if they were prescribed. Goal being to lessen the anxiety some.
Put yourself somewhere else. Once I had just seen a beautiful Cezanne exhibit. I put myself in those paintings. Immersed myself in the beautiful colors and landscapes. That’s where I was.
Putting yourself somewhere that gives you peace and calm will help. Beautiful places and experiences that make you relaxed and peaceful and happy.
Remember if the plane bumps it’s just like a motor boat going across waves. Same thing ( almost)
Flying is incredibly safe. The fear of flying is real though; I understand it.
Know that plane is going to get you to where you want to go.
Have a happy summer.
If you’re at airport wanting to drink come post and ask for help here.
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Day 823 Alcohol - Smoking 308
My sleep is all over the place atm. For the past week or so I’ve been waking up at 3am and 6am like clock work. As a result I’ve been feeling like I’m dragging my heals by the end if the day. Gradually feeling more and more tired. But other than that things are pretty good.
Have a great day folks 
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Day 13 completed. Today is the longest I have been without alcohol in 10 years. Before this would have been a subconscious target for drinking but this time is completely different. I’m committed to myself and growth. Yesterday evening, it almost felt like a frequency of peace i was on. I was just content in BEING. An incredible feeling to rival any chemical buzz from alcohol or alien substance…more on this another time (and in my journal)
Another realisation i had yesterday at work…i realised I was £40 down in my taxi takings, meaning that my 7 hours of work worked out to £5 an hour. Needless to say I was pretty annoyed and found it hard to get to sleep. Meditating like i always try to, I managed to find enough of a gap in the negative thought patterns to get to sleep- it was late and I was very tired afterall. Woke up still grumpy this morning…after a few minutes of being grumpy, I managed to speak to my wife about it. She waited for me to process it a bit and then used one of our secret weapons. She asked me “OK, so how can we recalibrate the universe?” I felt myself attempt to keep hold of my grumpiness for a few more seconds before it sort if dissolved away. I couldn’t argue with it. It all came crashing down.
Recalibrate the universe is a powerful idea we for from a programme on TV. It means however the universe has “wronged you” you do the exact opposite back to the universe to balance it. I lost £40, today I will donate a bit of money to an animal sanctuary. I get that not everyone is able to do this due to financial stresses but I can at this time in my life. But you can apply it to lots of things: someone cuts you up in traffic? Instead of being angry, let the next person out in traffic with a smile. Someone is rude to you for no reason? Resolve to see their rudeness as undiagnosed pain or just a bad day and respond with kindness etc etc
People of course do this for more tragic things, like death of a loved one. They commit themselves to raise money to help stop the thing that killed them. It helps them to recalibrate the universe for them. Im pretty sure this a key aspect of all you guys on here… how incredibly nice you all are in helping others who are suffering from the same thing you have suffered with in the past. My thinking is that we can do this on smaller scale things that piss us off but ultimately shouldn’t be wasting our time, energy and emotions.
It’s amazing how quickly this 1. Disapates negative emotions and 2. Gives perspectives on the impermanence of everything and how silly our emotions can be sometimes over things we won’t even remember in a few days or weeks and 3. Gratitude for the things that I am whining about - I’m sure there are many people out there who would consider the opportunity to work and get £5 an hour a privilege!!
We (well me!) always seek control, fairness, justice. When i don’t get it, i get upset or angry. We only have a finite amount of days on this planet, we waste many of them on negative emotions but there is often a way to flip them on their head.
I even thought that I was grateful for having lost the £40!!! Because this gave me a learning experience on how to constructively feel my emotion, pause, reflect and use a strategy to deal with it. This is what I want to teach my son- that we are all human. We all struggle. We all get grumpy or angry, either legitimately or not. That’s fine- it’s how we move forward that is really important.
Rant over!
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- Coffee. Thinking of some useful stuff to do today. I’ll come up with something. It won’t involve breaking my sobriety. That wouldn’t be useful in whatever way. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love form Amsterdam where I had a brilliant half hour of contemplation and solitude in the Oude Kerk yesterday. Will repeat that tomorrow.
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Day one. Not much to say today, much love
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I don’t know what to say. I am rooting for you.
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363.29
These past two weeks have just been 
Seriously so ridiculous that you just have to throw your hands up and laugh.
But then there are my sweet babies (24 and 15 haha)
On Sunday my 24 year old was hanging out with friends at a place right near my apartment and invited me to come. They were all chanting “Barb, Barb, Barb” 
That’s the name my “adopted” son (or daughter when in drag haha) gave me and it stuck. It was nice that she wanted me to hang out with her and her friends so badly. Unfortunately, I had to study for a text the next morning. I did wave to them from the balcony though 
My 15 year old is coming home to me for a little bit. I coordinated it through her and my older daughter. I will no longer have any contact with her father. So boom!! I can’t wait to see her, but we will be having a serious heart to heart about integrity.
Love to you all. Sobriety is the shit!! Keep on keeping on!!!
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9m 15d
Met a friend for lunch in the park. I really like her, but we are similarly a bit socially awkward, and don’t meet that often so it can be hard to talk sometimes. Actually she had a break down a few years ago, so I really want to come out of the alcoholic closet to her, but never find the right time.
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@Best_Me this post is full to the rim of such incredible information!! I absolutely love the act of recalibration the universe. I have heard something similar from people talking about the best way to become more abundant is giving money away to those in need, but you guys extend the concept of balancing so much further! I have been working on my resentments with by numbering them each day so it becomes its own thing and not something attached to me (also helps me see hiw much resentment I am carrying and, thus, need to let go). But your method of flipping the script is something I would like to start putting into practice. Thank you so much for sharing!!
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Day 346 here, busy day so I won’t be around much but I hope everyone has a good one!
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Day 348 clean and sober today. Wow, so many of us coming up on a year that’s awesome! Glad we’re all doing this together. Have a great day everyone, I love you guys!!! 
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Amazing! So glad you liked it. I have to practice this every day constantly! Just noticing is the first step but it needs to be retaken a thousand times a day!! For me, the next step is talking it through with like-minded wise people. That’s why I love it here so much!
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