Its so good isnt it! Ive seen it a few times now. I hope there is a 2nd one !
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Hey friend, I know this is your choice, but have you thought about how much actual relief or other positive feeling it will give you (to take a month off) vs disappointment? Not giving you a hard time! Just wonder if maybe your hankering could be filled otherwiseā¦
ā¦building a model plane! or a kite! Sometimes when I think I want a drink, I actually really want to stop adulting for a wee bit. The toy or art store seem to do the trick a lot better than the liquor store.
Of course, for me, any time spent in nature works too. Those trees and ducks and clouds and all? They donāt drink. Maybe go hang with them for a bit?
I see @Its_me_Stella replied too! Iād listenā¦ ā¦her words have never done me any wrong! 
Seriously though, I believe in you. 
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Day 341
It is forecasted to rain tomorrow and if it does I will run through it filled with so much joy as it will be breaking the heat weāve had the past few days. So hot and humid today I am exhausted from doing only minimal garden tasks. Drinking so much water trying to stay hydrated. Thankful to be sober and not fighting a hangover headache in this heat.
Really hoping my neighbors have finally run out of fireworks 
would be wonderful to be asleep at a reasonable time tonight
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Haha. I donāt know about pt 2?! lol. Itās so beautifully doneā¦and just so deep, the whole premise and sub-plots you know? I always 
lol
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Same , I shed a tear too! When Abbott lost his mate. I cried for aliens ! 
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Day 371.
Loving my vacay days. Itās such a jungle gym for the mindā¦ having done lots of vacations (and days, period) where the reward each day was the bubbles, this sober headspace is exactly what I was trying to achieve. Donāt get me wrong - thereās still the cāmon, pleeeeeez? whiny voice that kicks in now and then. But itās gotten used to the hard no! 
I have to tackle a couple things from the past this week. Itās gonna take some courage and some vulnerability. Which is probably why the voice is making feeble attempts to get me to pour a glass. Well, I left the wine glass in the past too. So, I guess the past gets to meet the ānowā me. And if the past doesnāt like now me? See if I care, past. I like the now me, And thatās really all that mattersā¦
Letās outdo ourselves tomorrow - and add another day to our sober ānowā selves, hey friends?
Gānight all, big love.
One week @Kmcc123! You posted on the gratitude thread I think that this time feels different. When you know, you know. Hey? Great stuff.
@Seb well done on doubling-down when you need to, for you and your son. Congrats on 50!
And ice cream for @nick_1985, yes for sure! Huge congrats to you, friend.
Happy Birthday Donuts for @liv_m for sure! Timmies maple glazed? 
Other?
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āā¦it wasnāt meeting themā¦it was meeting youā¦ā
Waaahhhh 
lol
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Glad you are here sharing your feelings and what you are thinking. In your past posts you have always been happy that you did not drink, in situations that you wondered or anticipated how you would reactā¦ ā¦ like at the end of school speechesā¦ at the end of various daysā¦ you always say that you do not drink and that you do not want to drinkā¦ and then you will feel pulled by expected drinking scenarios, like saying goodbye to your friends or the vacation coming, which as a family you all had a āmagicalā discussion about ( you were not drinking) . I understand the relationship w your wife. I understand you being pulled by the āallureā of drinking. I also see that it is not what you really want to do and really that you would be very disappointed in yourself if you did. Always think of not drinking as something good that you have gained and have worked hard for those days you have. Do not think of your sober days past and sober days to come as lost opportunities where you could have drank. Your wife is upset about the lockdown and the disruption of normal including you not joining her drinking. You will all get through better continuing like you have been. Seven weeks to do a lot of wonderfulā¦ I donāt remember the ages of your children but I doubt theyāll be drinkingā¦ ( not sure on that). Be proud of yourself for not drinking. It is what you want. Be strong facing those craves and it trying to lure you back in. Stay sober. Accept it and know that it is a good thing. Enjoy your vacation.
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I know right?! Itās great to see you too!
WTF are you?! A Disney Princess? Stop it! 
Just kidding. Thatās so awesome! Iāll have to check out your bird thread.
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Checking in 550 days.
Thatās a nice number.
Not much going on. Holidays are just like any other day for me to not drink. I never needed a holiday for an excuse to drink. I am grateful for all the rain we got yesterday. As we hunkered in staying away from all the July 4th activities. We arenāt very social 
Iām enjoying the Big Book audio on my phone while I walk. Iām on Part 2 of the personal stories. āThey Stopped In Time.ā I can really relate to some of these stories. Which I feel I needed. Because. You know. Sometimes I think maybe I wasnāt that bad?
I was. Itās good to be sober.
Recipe for Sobriety
An ounce of courage.
A smidgen of willingness.
A crack of open mindedness.
And a dash of hope
Love and recovery .com
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I know right lmao I literally put my arm out my window when I hear there squaks in the distance, I can hear them in preparation for landing so I put my arm out the window and wiggle my fingers, they wait for me on the light posts out side, as soon as I wiggle my fingers, they come flying down to me and land perfectly every time ! Ive discovered that there eye sight is phenomanal, because sometimes one will sit on the roof of the hotel across the road, as soon as I put my hand out and wiggle my fingers, it straight away comes flying acrossā¦ Watching them land up so close to me is magicalā¦ There open wings are HUGE and look like big angel wings
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- Coffee. Actually my yearly evaluation at work wasnāt yesterday, itās today. And Luna isnāt doing great, she puked a lot in the last week and now she hardly hasnāt eaten a thing in the last day and a half. Will see after work how she is. So not feeling the best myself. At least Iām sober and clean. Not complicating stuff any further with stupidly trying to drink or smoke (or snort, swallow, shoot) any problems away. Never again. ODAAT. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from my place.
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@Chiron !!!
Love seeing your icon pop up.
(That was me getting sidetracked)
Checking in.
Soā¦ I am not sure I have checked in over the weekend. Ha! My memory is so badā¦
Had a super fun day at the lake with my new homegroup! I was offered a very perfect opportunity to stay in MY OWN LANE. I am happy to report I did extremely well!!!
During active addiction I thought all business was my business and I made damn sure you knew about it. I gave no fucksā¦ not one. This however is not my true nature, this is one of the many masks I learned to don which became very comfortable for me to hide behind. It was called the āI will draw attention to all your shittiness to take the heat off all mine even if only for a second so that I can breatheā mask. I think I bought them out a few years in a row.
I have to say it was rather refreshing to be able to let shit go repeatedly that day. āOh thatās still happening? Still not my circus nor my monkey!ā and on I went with my day.
What a gift to be rid of that toxic bullshit.
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Checking in on day 11,hard day yesterday aniexty come bk with a vengeance to kick my ass, got to a meeting but again even though it was my homegroup my own fear and aniexty got me feeling right outta place, but none the less I went. My only saving grace is I know it will become easier. Have a blessed day. Good news Em you getting ya feelings bk bad news Em ya getting ya feelings backš
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191 days
Doing ok 
my best friend told me at camp that she has been called back to hospital following a mammogram, it was her actual birthday yesterday and she had to go for further tests. The 3-d mammogram machine broke down so she was sent home to wait, what makes it more difficult it her mum sadly passed away on her birthday some years ago from cancer so understandbly she is struggling. Being sober means i can be there for her, support her as a good friend. The alternative would be to drink and not be. Thank god i am not drinking. I am positive she will be fine but got a clear head to understand fully her fears.
Another thing i am grateful for is saying for the first time ever last Friday is āi dont drinkā, when i got told you got the job, they said you can have some drinks to celebrate, felt a teeny self satisfied saying i dont 
never had the confidence to say that as always thought there would be a relapse.
As always have a strong sober day everyone 
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Ah sorry to read Luna poorly wishing her a speedy recovery and will say good luck o your evaluation today.
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Isnāt it unbelievable how we can do this to ourselves.
On Saturday I was told our homegroup would meet at noon and all drive together to the lake. I arrived at the meet spot early and Waited 10 mins past meet time. Called people nobody answered, text people, nobody answered. I started in with the self doubt. āThey wouldnāt wait for you, why do they care if you were at the wrong spot, why would they call youā¦ā literally saying that in my head to myself. I caught myself and started saying outloud " Just have faith, just have faith. " over and over again. Then a text came through ābumped to 12:30ā
Where there is fear, faith is missing. Anxiety is fear basedā¦ fuck fear letās have faith.
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Thanks sweet I needed to hear this this morning, I get Iām early days but Iām so fucked off with myself Iāve made myself this sick, I feel sad today and extremly worn out having to hold it together lastnight, I havenāt shared for past 2 weeks nxt week I really need to put it out there, where am at BC I feel if I say it it will loose its power.
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Sincere thoughts and hopes that Luna will be fully recuperated when you get home. 
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Day 16 
. Currently sat outside the gym waiting for it to open like a keen little bean. Have a happy and sober day all
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