That must be very difficult for you. I never had to deal with that but I have had to deal with people begging me back into relationships that were unhealthy. It seems pretty much the same. Learning that you are worthy of a substance free life and creating boundaries with the people you love is important.
Happy to see you back on track again.
Checking in.
Boundaries in the begining of my recovery were so foreign to me. I was confused, I felt like I was running on pure self will as I cemented firm lines in the sand around me. I didnāt understand that boundaries were flexible and that the beauty of recovery and freedom is that we now have choices. I didnāt understand that a boundary I made with someone today might change a little as I grew stronger in my recovery down the road. As time has gone by and I have worked my ass off learning how to live again this whole concept has become more clear. It goes along with impermenanceā¦ things are always changing now. Nothing is stuck like it was when I was in that constant state of chaos I couldnāt escape from.
I am so grateful to be free from that. No matter how many times my addict knocks on my door and tries to lure me outside to play today, I have enough āFuck youāsā stored up for 24 hrs.
And thatās exactly what you are doingā¦ a step at a time #teamprour@ja
Mathematics do countā¦ first time I looked @ TS todayā¦ What a nice number.
I thank my angels, and more then few amongst them are with you guys
Check in.
6 days and my wandering starts again, I will keep yaāll posted from all over Europe and @LuluJo ā¦ Leave a day laterā¦ And call me
Someone in Vienna?? Up for coffee (?
Or London Stanstedā¦ I have to transit there for 7 hrs
You damn right rock
Itās okay no need to be sorry I donāt think Iāve explained how it happened just that I had to have it done and was very scared, no oneās ever. Thank you for caring enough to ask. Thatās very kind of you.
It is three titanium disc, with 3 titanium cages, and a 1 large titanium plate, with 12 titanium screws, that you canāt really see all of them. The reason is a closed head injury that happened when I was 5 many years old. Itās a head on collision, my head and a station wagon! That my brother told me it was okay to cross the road in front of a red caution light, while we were trick-or-treating. That left me with Autonomic dysreflexia of the spinal cord.
I probably have to have four more identical to these over the next five years, in my lower back and C6-C7 yet in my cervical spine. My spine is just so bad they can only do so many at a time. Itās taking them since 2006 to decide to do these and to find a good neurosurgeon because thereās so many nerves involved in this being crushed along with my spinal cord. And of course they like to wait to the last minute nobody wanted to mess with it to do it until they have to even though they know itās happening and can see it happening ! Even knowing the insurance company will pay. But itās all good. I do have my use back of my left arm so thatās really good. Iām not real sure about the pain though because they still have me on pain pills so that will tell on time. So everythingās looking up. The next sĆŗrgery hopefully I will get the feeling back in my left side from the chest down and hope and full control of different orgaƱs . But like I said itās okay You can ask questions.
Understand how you feel. Iāve had to do that with the job as a teacher once. I also had the same worry about something my brother and I did when we were 18 years old. I will say a prayer for you. You will be on my mind, and in my heart too. Until you start your new job, for I know you will get the of your dreams. I have that much faith, praying for you
Those are really beneficial programs. Well done.
Welcome to the Cult of Clean. The place where,
when you check in, you are encouraged to never check out.
Even if you get to āmillion-zillionā, as long as you donāt stop getting up when you fall, with sincere conviction and belief in your ability to arrive, you will eventually make the days youāve been clean a āzillionā.
what up everyone checking in on day 67 . God bless everyone out there determined to live a better life.
Wow, thatās so intense! I can only imagine how terrifying this has been for you! Have you ever heard of Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM)?
Itās a medical tool that uses frequencies. Various types of practitioners use it from medical doctors, to chiropractors, to nurses, to massage therapists, etc., etc. The frequencies used by the specialist just depend on what is being treated.
This book was written for the layman so itās easy to read. You can buy the book, but honestly if you like audiobooks, I would be willing to give you the file if you want it (Honestly, Iāll share it with anyone who wants a copy, just hit me up): https://www.amazon.com/Resonance-Effect-Frequency-Specific-Microcurrent/dp/1623171105
I donāt know how open you are to trying various modalities of pain management, but if you are and if there is a suitable practitioner near you, it might be worth a try. Itās not a panacea, but things like nerve pain can actually pretty easy to treat.
You can try this link to look for practitioners if youāre interested: Practitioner Locator - Frequency Specific Microcurrent the real difficulty can lie in finding one in your area, and then finding one that specializes in what you need.
I have small and large cell neuropathy so I know about nerve pain. And Iāve done acupuncture, chiropractic, and my daughter is one of the leading medical massage therapist, in the area so over the last 10 yrs I know, I say since 2006 but itās actually been going on a lot longer than that Iāve tried a lot of things. Because I have been suffering from migraines since I was probably 10 years old. I will most
definitely check the link out later. I really thank you so very much. I really do appreciate it. Sounds very interesting. Iāll copy and paste it to my notepad. I think my daughter did that FSM for something she was going through. Iāll have to ask her about that. Iāve done a lot of alternative medicine because of herfield of work. And also because of my grandmother sheās into or was into that type of stuff Sheās passed away. Thank you 
Checking in clean and sober trying to keep my priorities in line spread the strength and hope. Greatful to be alive today wishing you all well in the coming week.
Thank so much 
Hun I just did a week long digital detox, no internet at all. I deleted Facebook many many years ago and I stopped looking at Instagram about 6 months ago. I wont lie, I do enjoy tic tok because there are so many funny animal videos on there 
but I do go down a tictok rabbit role often and I realised I do need to have a complete internet detoxā¦ So I did itā¦ It was great!
I highly recommend doing it. The only socials I occasionally look at now are Pinterest and here on tsā¦ Oh and YouTube, but YouTube is a non negotiatiable life tool 
Lmao love it
There are different frequency therapies available out there. While theyāre all working with frequencies, there are some differences in how the approach is appliedāwhich is neither good nor bad. I think they are all able to do good things.
I know what itās like to run the gambit with every modality I can get my hands on. Iād actually reached a point where I thought there was nothing else I could try and gave up for a few months before decided that there had to be something else out there that I hadnāt tried. I found a chiropractor that used this, so I gave it a shot. I had some success, but felt like they werenāt treating the right thing. Out of sheer determination, I signed up to take the training as a student (I was studying exercise science, so I had basic underlying knowledge to take the class), then traveled out of state to get trained with a bunch of doctors, nurses, chiropractors, natural pathsā¦ there was a dentist there and a vocal coach, a few massage therapists.
I wonāt go into the entire story, but I found out that the reason I was still in so much pain after the surgeries, was because I was being poisoned by the hardware in my neck. The end plates of the disk replacement are made of chromium and cobalt, and I was suffering from metalosis. This is most often seen in hip replacement patients, but my situation is not unheard of. Since no surgeon would be willing to pull the hardware out unless I was literally on deathās doorstep, I bought an automatic unit so I could treat myself as needed (and for a while it was every day), but also sprang for the manual one with the idea that I would also get my massage therapy license and use it for that (then COVID happened and I decided to put a hold on that path 
).
I still have pain (because the cause will never go away), but itās manageable, and I no longer have the other horrible symptoms that come with having metallosis. I also donāt have to deal with doctor after doctor telling me that I was imagining things, faking it, having problems that I knew I wasnāt, etc. I treat myself for other things (I am my own test subject ), I treat friends and family, and most of all I treat my 19 year old cat. And honestly, I will treat literally anyone who crosses my path (often for free and with their understanding that Iām not a doctor and canāt guarantee anything) if they want me to and I think I can help.
You are SO very welcome. The physical pain and suffering of something like what youāre dealing with is so much, but then thereās the emotional impact, and then you have to deal with the āIndustrial āMedicalā Complexā and the āLegally Approved Drug Cartel of the United Statesā. 
I really hope youāre able to find someone and that itās able to help ease your suffering. Your daughter sounds like sheās an amazing person! Seriously, let me know if youād like the audio book and I will supply you with the file. 
Late yesterday afternoon I got a call from work saying that our building had been shut down because of a covid close contact attending. Everyone has been asked to get tested and await instructionsā¦ So I went to get tested last night. Will get result today I thinkā¦our states lockdown has been extended anyway , so even if my work building has been shut down indefinitely, we canāt go to work anyway till lockdown in lifted in our state, so sitting ducks we remain 
I feel good today. No urges , no wandering using thoughtsā¦ Today is a good day 
Trying to weather through this storm 
