Good morning friends - day 256! Kind of going through the motions of life last few days… I know that things are good - I’m sober, we have food in the fridge and a roof over our heads… sometimes a little bored, but boring is better than drama.
Work is fine - maybe I’m just tired. I won’t drink today - because I don’t drink! (Thanks Eric @Dazercat )
Have an awesome day! I am going to do mine sober!
About to pass my longest stretch of 47 days on my ED.
I had 210 resets on that counter this past year.
Congrats Beth!!!
Maybe you have 210 resets, but you have picked yourself up 211 times. That speaks volumes about your relentlessness and no-nonsense attitude! Whoop whoop!!!
Hey all, checking in on day 409. I hope everyone has a good one 
Congratulations, Olivia! 
Just encountered a 15k watermelon 
for 3,50 euro,
39 Celsius allready and with my arm the taking it back to appartment part sucked…
Check in…
Bless ya’ll
Vielen Dank!
Day 997.
Exhausted from this weather. Endless rain. Sunday will bei 18 deg here. I feel like I read, really need vacation but can’t plan yet which adds to my mood.
Excited and prepared I am for the kittens to come tomorrow evening. I am taking Friday off to not rushing them and I think I might not sleep too well tomorrow night.
I’ve no experience with your doc but years of experience with cravings and having that first one. At some point we just have to get uncomfortable and sit through it, you already know what happens when we have just a little bit it never stops there. So here we are back at the beginning and it’s the only place any of us can start, stop making excuses bc trust me next time you have a craving you will manage to get your hands on it if that’s what you want but STOP, BREATHE and REACH OUT. Many times I’ve sat on this forum wasting away the hours to stop me picking up. I’m proud of you for even realising that one is too many, it’s the beginning of a very important learning curve.
Thankyou very much all this help and advice is appreciated x
I love looking for lightening in a thunderstorm. It probably won’t hit ya so just enjoy the show.
Awwwww girl, thank you!!! That means so much to me and really puts it into perspective a bit. It’s such a hard addiction, because you have to control it. How many times have we learned that we can’t control alcohol or our DOC, right? But when you have an eating disorder, that’s exactly what you have to do. I’ve been struggling with this since the age of 13, so that’s 37 freaking years!!! It’s been my way of life for so long.
It feels so good to be “normal”. I’ve already had at least 2 heart attacks that we know of. My heart is now damaged. I STILL couldn’t stop. WTF? It’s you guys here for sure. I don’t feel so alone. Maybe my hair will start to grow again too lol. I think I’m finally starting to get over being sick to my stomach when I put food in it too, whoot!
Feck it we’ve all had our fill of bad luck here. The lightening is for someone else. 
… Probably!
I think I understand to some degree. It’s a behavioural addiction like my line of sex addiction. You can’t block out eating. I can abstain from sexual activities but I can’t block out my sexual desires and sexuality as a whole (God knows how many times I’ve tried with bitter tears…). So you like you said, you have to control it, work your ass off so that it stops being negative. Maybe there will always be a tendency but I do hope that the main path will ultimately grow over with other things.
Kaikkea hyvää, sä olet ihan paras!! 
Day 74: I have been attending this AA meeting via zoom in England for a while, and an old timer shared last night. I’ve never quite heard anything as moving. I couldn’t compose myself enough to share in response. Super emotional. I’m a cry baby, but still, I wanted to say something so I just wrote a message in the chat and someone read it aloud for me and I’m forever grateful for that because he responded by saying that this is why he shares. Someone across the world from him connected with what he had to say and that’s what it’s all about. I still feel like a spectator in AA, but I don’t care as much about that anymore after this experience.
I recently found out my paternal grandfather had a drinking problem. For him it stemmed from untreated PTSD as a WWII veteran who was at the battle of the bulge and DDay, too. I knew my dad had turned to drinking at times. His was a similar story, Vietnam Vet and lots of trauma there. Then just the pressures of life and choosing alcohol as a way to numb. I’m a sexual assault survivor and got lots of other trauma, too. That’s how we have tried to cope and fuck it doesn’t work in the long run, just causes more problems. I don’t know where I’m going with this other than I’ve got a lot rolling around in my brain today. Thanks for listening.
Oh! And it’s bandages and splint off, sutures out day!!!
It’s just kind of your thing that you always say though. I love it and honestly when I wake up and read this it kicks my butt into gear and helps me get up to get my workout in earlier!
I forgot, did you have your second vaccination yet? Probably not or you could plan your holiday right?
Really happy for you, Kevin. You must be delighted. Make the most of it.
Yeah, I had but numbers are rising again and atm I don’t feel like travelling, packing and unpacking. Don’t know where to put myself, hard to explain. 
Plus I don’t want to plan when I don’t know the date of the surgery.
