Vielen Dank!
1 Like
- Check in. Got call this am to come and join family for tail end of holiday. Only an hour away so have joined them now. Heading to an aquarium now. Have a sober day everyone.
19 Likes
Day 997.
Exhausted from this weather. Endless rain. Sunday will bei 18 deg here. I feel like I read, really need vacation but canāt plan yet which adds to my mood.
Excited and prepared I am for the kittens to come tomorrow evening. I am taking Friday off to not rushing them and I think I might not sleep too well tomorrow night.
21 Likes
Iāve no experience with your doc but years of experience with cravings and having that first one. At some point we just have to get uncomfortable and sit through it, you already know what happens when we have just a little bit it never stops there. So here we are back at the beginning and itās the only place any of us can start, stop making excuses bc trust me next time you have a craving you will manage to get your hands on it if thatās what you want but STOP, BREATHE and REACH OUT. Many times Iāve sat on this forum wasting away the hours to stop me picking up. Iām proud of you for even realising that one is too many, itās the beginning of a very important learning curve.
5 Likes
Thankyou very much all this help and advice is appreciated x
3 Likes
I love looking for lightening in a thunderstorm. It probably wonāt hit ya so just enjoy the show.
Awwwww girl, thank you!!! That means so much to me and really puts it into perspective a bit. Itās such a hard addiction, because you have to control it. How many times have we learned that we canāt control alcohol or our DOC, right? But when you have an eating disorder, thatās exactly what you have to do. Iāve been struggling with this since the age of 13, so thatās 37 freaking years!!! Itās been my way of life for so long.
It feels so good to be ānormalā. Iāve already had at least 2 heart attacks that we know of. My heart is now damaged. I STILL couldnāt stop. WTF? Itās you guys here for sure. I donāt feel so alone. Maybe my hair will start to grow again too lol. I think Iām finally starting to get over being sick to my stomach when I put food in it too, whoot!
11 Likes
Feck it weāve all had our fill of bad luck here. The lightening is for someone else. 
ā¦ Probably!
1 Like
I think I understand to some degree. Itās a behavioural addiction like my line of sex addiction. You canāt block out eating. I can abstain from sexual activities but I canāt block out my sexual desires and sexuality as a whole (God knows how many times Iāve tried with bitter tearsā¦). So you like you said, you have to control it, work your ass off so that it stops being negative. Maybe there will always be a tendency but I do hope that the main path will ultimately grow over with other things.
Kaikkea hyvƤƤ, sƤ olet ihan paras!! 
Day 74: I have been attending this AA meeting via zoom in England for a while, and an old timer shared last night. Iāve never quite heard anything as moving. I couldnāt compose myself enough to share in response. Super emotional. Iām a cry baby, but still, I wanted to say something so I just wrote a message in the chat and someone read it aloud for me and Iām forever grateful for that because he responded by saying that this is why he shares. Someone across the world from him connected with what he had to say and thatās what itās all about. I still feel like a spectator in AA, but I donāt care as much about that anymore after this experience.
I recently found out my paternal grandfather had a drinking problem. For him it stemmed from untreated PTSD as a WWII veteran who was at the battle of the bulge and DDay, too. I knew my dad had turned to drinking at times. His was a similar story, Vietnam Vet and lots of trauma there. Then just the pressures of life and choosing alcohol as a way to numb. Iām a sexual assault survivor and got lots of other trauma, too. Thatās how we have tried to cope and fuck it doesnāt work in the long run, just causes more problems. I donāt know where Iām going with this other than Iāve got a lot rolling around in my brain today. Thanks for listening.
Oh! And itās bandages and splint off, sutures out day!!!
23 Likes
Itās just kind of your thing that you always say though. I love it and honestly when I wake up and read this it kicks my butt into gear and helps me get up to get my workout in earlier!
4 Likes
I forgot, did you have your second vaccination yet? Probably not or you could plan your holiday right?
1 Like
Really happy for you, Kevin. You must be delighted. Make the most of it.
2 Likes
Yeah, I had but numbers are rising again and atm I donāt feel like travelling, packing and unpacking. Donāt know where to put myself, hard to explain. 
Plus I donāt want to plan when I donāt know the date of the surgery.
2 Likes
Checking in at the end of day 206.
Not much to report again - which is great.
Another good sleep. A really tough uphill (and downhill) walk with my daughter. Healthy food. Lots of Olympic action. A lot of gratitude. Another glorious day of sobriety with not so much as a thought about drinking.
Life is so much better now.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
22 Likes
I find the downhill harder these days, which makes me think Iāve made some progress! Loving the Olympic action, too. I grew up watching them.
2 Likes
2ānd check in today. In some hours it will be 4 days AF.
Covid shot went OK, was afraid to get a panic attack, but it stayed with the anxiety. Feeling some sore/pain in the arm and headaches. But the headeachs I have anyway. Hope it not get worse with the side effecst.
So now Im going to hit the shower and crawl up in the Couch under the duvet. Eat chips and dip and maybe try make a plan for my sober days, what to do to stay away from drinking.
Thank you 
17 Likes
Day 411 clean and sober today, on lunch break. Have I told you guys that I LOVE MY JOB!!! Itās unbelievable, exactly what I was meant to be. Have a great day everyone, love you guys!!! 
27 Likes
Itās funny youāre posting this this morning I was thinking about you ,how would it be in his new job itās good to hear youāre having a good time
3 Likes
Thank you @Claartje!! Yes, itās still surreal having the privilege to work here is definitely an honor for sure! Have a great rest of your day!!!