Checking in daily to maintain focus #32

Life in Recovery
367

This drives me insane, but glad you’re keeping with it. I always end up getting so frustrated that I throw my hands up and give up. I don’t even bother with health insurance anymore. About 10 years ago I was in the middle of being diagnosed with MS. It was so annoying and frustrating. Sticking needles and shit in my legs and arms, mri’s. I finally just gave up. There’s no cure anyway and the kind they said I had is not progressive, so…. :woman_shrugging:

Long way of saying, I give you credit, and I truly understand your frustration. US healthcare system is so broken :frowning:

4 Likes
368

Well you know I loved this! Amigos!!! What fun, thanks for sharing.

Hang in there, mama. Made me think of my first apartment.

1 Like
369

75 days - things are strangely but nicely lining up for me. Had my splint and bandages off yesterday and two tiny sutures removed. Turns out most of them are below the skin. It took 30 seconds and I was out of there. Got a text from Eric to bring $20 home because two neighbor boys were mowing and trimming our lawn to make money for a new BMX bike. Cute kiddos! We leave for vacation tomorrow and the lawn needed to be mowed. :+1:t3: Then I got a text from my friend asking if she could bring her son over to get a tutorial on watering the garden, another cute kiddo and he was very attentive. He had his eyes on the pile of cash I was about to give him though :rofl: But I’m sure he will do a fine job. We have gotten heavy rain/thunderstorms the last couple nights so I haven’t had to water at all, a break for my wrist. So, yes, things just seem to be working out in my favor lately. Now I just need to pack everything today and be ready to hit the road in the morning. Feeling good, grateful to be sober, amigos. :heartpulse: Say hello to my bumblebee friend and Marvel-of-Peru plant.

image
image3024×4032 1.79 MB

26 Likes
370

Sober

image
image1170×366 116 KB

ED

image
image1170×377 117 KB

26 Likes
371

Crazy story… Checking in, really had a rough day.
Made out for assassin, smuggler and arms dealer due to appearance…

6 Likes
372

Congratulations on 207 Tony. I been pretty proud of my self listening to the audio of the Big Book. After about 4 or 5 days in a row on my walks I was starting to get a little depressed listening to it. I guess that’s the addict in us. We want to get it all :grimacing: So I changed things up. I still listen to it but only when I feel like it now. Sometimes music is the healing I need.
And I think I will take you up on your invite to have a great sober day today. Thanks.
:pray:t2::heart:

11 Likes
373

408 days. Feeling completely lost and broken. Waiting for health card so I can consult with a doctor about getting back on meds. I feel so mentally unstable at the moment and just wish to hide from the world. Plan to attend a local AA meeting this evening, for the first time, and am hoping it’s a step in the right direction. Not doing well but won’t drink cuz I don’t drink.

30 Likes
374

@zzz welcome back :slightly_smiling_face:
@CueBall8n9 congrats on 3 weeks :tada:
@apes2020 thank you, I hope so! :pray:t2::sleeping:
@Kmcc123 congrats on your month :tada:
@anon53116147 sorry to hear this, sending strength :pray:t2::blue_heart:
@Joy congrats on 750 days AF :tada:
@Squirt So sorry you’re feeling like this, I hope you can get an appointment real soon :pray:t2: sending strength :blue_heart:

353 days no alcohol.
321 days no cocaine.
10 days no binge-eating.
2 days no nicotine.

The fatigue continues. I’m really not enjoying it, it’s a reminder of how I used to be every day for the 7 years that I was in a very dark place, couldn’t wake up, couldn’t get out of bed. I feel almost as though I’ve taken some kind of strong pain killers, I’m not with it at all, floaty, strange. I did manage to get out for exercise again though so I’m pleased about that.

I’m in my 61st hour without nicotine now, I am wondering if that’s why I feel so strange. I still feel tense and irritable but it’s not so bad.

26 Likes
375

Hang in there my friend, mi amiga. Sending strength and love to you.

3 Likes
376

So sorry you’re struggling but you have so much strength in you even when you don’t feel it. I’m leaning this about myself, that the strength we have matters the most, shows up the most when we are not feeling our best. :heartpulse:

2 Likes
377

Still hanging in. Feel like hungry and want to eat everything all Day Long, all kinda foods. And sometimes snacks and sugar, especally in evening. Hope this goes away in a while, cant keep eating and eating :see_no_evil:

12 Likes
378

Hang in there, good for you for still going to a meeting :muscle:

2 Likes
379

Checking in sober. Had another good friend pass away in a bad car accident, but it’s crazy it was on a street that is a 30 mph zone and, they believe he lost conscious and hit a tree head on. It’s weird how this stuff hits you. You just never think death is real sometimes

18 Likes
380

Damn mike, that’s really rough. I’m sorry you’re going through so much right now but I’m glad you’re sober to be able to process things.

2 Likes
381

Sorry to hear about your friends Mike. Sending prayers :pray:t3: Life is just way too short and can change on a dime.

3 Likes
382

I’m sorry you’re feeling lost and broken Michelle. That must feel like shit. I don’t believe broken people have 408 days of sobriety and don’t fucking drink anymore. Or plan on going to local AA meetings for the first time. So you got that going for you. And that’s fucking huge! You’re a bad ass.
:pray::heart:

6 Likes
386

Its not much, but 5 days more then where I started. And thats more then nothing and to give in and continue what I was doing. 5 days waking sober, 5 days going to bed sober, 5 hard days and more hard days to come, 5 days I can say I did not drink.

Screenshot_20210729_232727
Screenshot_20210729_2327271080×1311 192 KB

20 Likes
387

lozenges worked for me, the packet said up to 15 a day but I took 2 or 3 a day for about a week and here I am, good luck mate it’s your final hurdle.

1 Like
388

Day 95.
7.30am.
6 degrees.

Today is a very exciting day for me :tada:

On my sober journey I’ve begun to take care of all the things I’ve neglected with my mind body and soul… So things like my teeth, my nutrition health, my fitness, showing up for my spiritual self daily, my finances, my mental health etc etc…

Now today is a new step in an exciting direction in my self care journey.

With using meth for 10 years, the effects definetly do show on my face, in comparison to my appearance a few years ago, the last few years have taken its toll and I don’t look as fresh and youthful as I did a few years ago. I know for 41 years old, I could look worse, but the years are showing now and gravity is taking over.

Also with putting on a lot of weight from getting clean, the weight has gone to my face and its visible in an uncomfortable way for me. Its made my face age a bit more than I’d like at this point…

Soooo, today for the first time ever, I have my appointment to get a bit of fillers and botox !!

Its something I’ve been thinking about for a while now and I’ve come to the conclusion that now I’m 41 years old, gravity will take its course from here on out, so its time to get ahead of it and fix my face so I can hold onto my youthful glow while I still have it :joy:

I’m also very proud of myself for saving up enough money to get these done today. Its a huge achievement for me to accomplish, saving money regularly every payday.

I have had cash money sitting in a bank account day after day after day now for a while, and the addict in me has been so well behaved and responsible that I didn’t once cave in and go use that money for evil…

There comes a point in your sober journey where you realise that you really do like you, you actually like yourself, you like how you look regardless of the drug abuse you put your body through… And one day you have a realisation that you want to really look after this temple of a human body … So you start investing in you :heart:

19 Likes
389


Holy Camoli!!! :boom:

4 Likes