I seem to be bouncing between all these emotions in one day! Feeling distant from my bf or more like wondering if our relationship was build on alcohol, drugs and sex. Amazing how much clearer and lonelier I have become/feel when not drinking. Thinking alcohol creates an illusion of reality. It takes away the boredom and lack of progress etc.
I do miss drinking though and checking out and having no inhibitions but then I don’t coz I know if I want to go where I’m meant to, than alcohol is not a part of that journey.
I’ve been through spells like this many times, Mike. Used to beat myself up about it, but that does no good. It will pass. It sucks to not be able to sleep. Hang in there. We win the day if we don’t drink.
Yeah man, very true. Thank you. And @DLS probably but this is what I battled with when I hit around 10 months. And I got put on anxiety and depression meds and they just made me sleep even more. And then they put me on mood stabilizers which I just spiraled out of control after that and ifeel it helped me relapse
Day 82 AF
Have not spent much time on here this week as I’ve been pouring my attention into the concerns of my teen son who is not in a great space lately.
Peace and strength to all
Yesterday on my day adventure I bought 3 pieces of art. Well there just prints in frames from Kmart , they were only $6 bucks each (!!)
As I lay them out ready to install on the wall, I thought to myself " if I was still using and not clean, there is no way I would be buying decor for my walls" even though they were only $6 each, that was a moment of appreciation for my sober/clean journey. Doing this to invest In my overall happiness
So in Australia, our Kmart is kinda equivalent to your target ( quality wise ) minus the food groceries section. So our kmart use to be quite cheap quality and just basic, but they got bought out a few years back and they had a big change up in the products and design department … Its really good now and its very addictive going in there lol !
It was the same here but they couldn’t compete with Target and Walmart. Kmart was the only reasonable place to shop 20 years ago until the bullies came along.
Day 66- back to work today and now home drinking sparkling water with my cat chillin by the tv
Went to “happy hour” with my co worker but we just got appetizers and bomb ass lemonade
Day 369 - got an interview for a mining position so I’m looking forward to that gonna keep pursuing that cause I want the income and life I deserve to have. Thanks @Dan531 for reminding me you gotta work hard for the things you want in life, and I lost my original career a few years back cause I was a drunk asshole, my current job pays good but that’s about it so I want something a little more in my life.
Here’s to bigger and better things and manifesting positivity also had the fire department show up at my house because of a false alarm, sorry @Dazercat I burnt the sausages was nice to see the old crew I quit over a year ago cause I was so ashamed that I was a high functioning alcoholic, there was no way I was in any way fit mentally to be saving people’s lives, made me think about going back.
So i am new here and don’t know if I am writing in the right place. I am danish so if there is any misspelling or wrong gramma, that’s why. So basically I’m an alcoholic, I used to be on something called antabus. I don’t know if you have where you’re from, but it’s a pill you take where you get very sick if you drink while you are on it. At New Year’s Eve I spoke to someone and he told me that i could take something to prevent these pills from working. I won’t say what it is in case someone else in here are on these pills. Anyway, I keep falling back in and can’t seem to find the right track again. Does anyone have any suggestions?
even though they were only $6 each, that was a moment of appreciation for my sober/clean journey. Doing this to invest In my overall happiness 
also had the fire department show up at my house because of a false alarm, sorry