I don’t know if it’s the meds or just life but I’ve noticed that I’ve fallen back into the pattern of not giving myself permission to be happy again recently. Every so often I need to remind myself that it is a choice and I am allowed to enjoy myself. Over and above core commitments and life principles (e.g. relationships, animal care, sobriety, paying bills), I have the freedom to do what I want and that is something that should be embraced with enthusiasm!
There are so many things that I want to do and there is an element of practicality holding me back (so many things, can’t do them all, which one to pick), but also some fear and guilt there too. Thanks to @RetainKingII for the reminder that this is a mindset that can be switched! I had a similar conversation with my OH and when I said about something I’d quite like to try, his first words were ‘do it!’.
With that in mind, had a tax rebate come through and I have a chunk earmarked for some Shakti Dance (a mix of dance and yoga) stuff, something I’d like to try and explore a bit more as a potential future career option.
Am also hoping we will be able to find a house in a new area in the not too distant future. I like it where I live but I feel like a move would do me good. I have wrestled with the idea a lot as I don’t want to just run away from my problems and have them follow me. But I feel like I have a reasonably good handle on the problems that will follow me, and there is some baggage here that I’d rather be without. Fortunately nothing too heavy, so no rush. Seen some lovely looking places though and will be starting to book viewings etc in the next couple of weeks. Exciting times!
Anyway, that’s a long post
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128/90 - Alcohol/Weed. I have been having thoughts of drinking lately. That tiny voice in my head that whispers that I have overcome my problems and I can drink again as a normal person. I have been ignoring the voice, but the temptation lingers. It would be so easy to screw up everything I’ve achieved so far. When does this end? How long will it take for me to be really sober? How long till I can be safe?
Good morning everyone. Well have another tattoo on the way, the girl who got my tattoo yesterday posted about it and got really good feed back. I think the thing with that tattoo group is 1 they are artists they are going to see every wrong thing, and some are actually trolls who have never tattooed and like to fuck with ppl bc I seen it on alot of other ppls post. Some actually ended up commenting saying they did see improvement and keep at it. It really is what it is, I’m doing this for me. And yeah it’s gonna be a good day, so take care much love
Checking in at the end of day 205.
Another day of rest, relaxation, walking, healthy food, family, sobriety and the Olympics. What more could I ask for?
Not much else to report.
No cravings. No thoughts of drinking. Magic.
I have to say that I think that the daily gratitude thread has played a significant part in that. Love it.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight.
I don’t really know what it is but since I stopped drinking people irritate me immensely I was always friendly helpful and I had a lot of patience but I notice that I have become increasingly impatient towards people. Thats no good
Thanks Stella!! I spent a while trying to come up with something witty to go with it, and obviously failed 😵💫:joy:
