Congratulations on the job! Sounds perfect. I know what you mean about getting swept away. I want to make up for the time wasted drinking, so try to do too much (for me) and then get tired and stressed and guilty that I can’t do it.
Happy to hear you are communicating with your partner. Much like sobriety, a relationship needs continual awareness and work.
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Hey everyone, checking in on day 470. Like @M-be-free49, I am also grateful for having a sober Sunday yesterday. I was able to enjoy a nice breakfast and then spend some time hiking in the beautiful weather. The old me would have wasted the entire day drunk.
I hope everyone has a great start to the week today!
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Day 412
@CATMANCAM I am sure you know, but weight and eating are not always linear. And not-disordered eating is more important than weight, at least this early in your journey, imo.
Though, what do I know, my binge-eating has been pretty bad. And it was again today. I did work and lots of study tho. Tentatively things are better with the husband after a argument.
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Day 472 clean and sober today. I have an interview at 10 this morning, doing the footwork. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys 
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Good luck on the interview!! Keep us posted.
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Congratulations on 6 years Menno, that is amazing!!!
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And that is ok @CATMANCAM. As you know I battle with depression too and the thing that helps me is to know that it will pass. I am absolutely powerless over when the waves will come so I do my best to recognize what it is and just ride it out. Things that I know I should do like exercising, cleaning or even taking a shower are too much for me when I’m going through it and I’ve learned not to push myself or judge myself about those things I just sit with it. I’m glad you’re reaching out and checking in. Give yourself a break, love you bro!!
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@Mno , congrats on 6 years and thank you so much for your thoughtful contributions to this forum!
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Checking in
638 days substance free
We Are Not Cookies…
Therefore we can not use a cookie cutter to create our recovery plans.
I felt super lost after I relapsed and I was drowing in active addiction. I knew that I didn’t want “that” to be my end game I just had to figure out a way to get out. It took a lot of trial and error and I started with the mental health. I have mental illness that needs to be medicated and treated with therapy, there is no avoiding that. I would not have any clean time right now if I did not have my mental health in balance. I had to remove myself from unhealthy relationships, there was no way I was going to stop using if I could not stand the situation I was in. Once those two things had been dealt with and I had some time to decompress I became ready to face my demons. That was when I stepped into the rooms of NA. Narcotics Anonymous is a tool like all the other tools I have in my tool box that work together if I use them correctly. The next level knowing that addicts have of where I have been and what I have experienced is priceless to me. Once I was an NA member though finding my way didn’t come easy. I felt insecure, lost once again, that my shares held no weight to them but as time went on I became more humble and those insecurities started to melt away. I came to terms with the fact that my recovery was mine alone and would not look like anyone else’s, so I started to see what felt good to me. I started adding service in the way of sponsorhip, homegroup service, area service. What it all boils down to is this is my story, this is how I got clean and what works for me to stay clean. It works for me today and I am pretty sure it will work for me tomorrow as time goes on we change though, so who knows what will work in three years.
My saving grace 638 days ago was that I was willing to do anything to stay clean. ANYTHING. I was openminded and I was very humble to the fact I knew nothing about living a life without drugs. Those things have saved my ass and allowed me to grow.
I hope everyone finds the pieces of the puzzle that fits for them. I hope that nobody stops trying until they find that perfect combination that feels comfortable and their own. It is out there, you just need to be determined and want the suffering to end.
Congrats on your clean time everyone.
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Huge congrats on your year of sobriety! The next years will be just as awesome. 
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Wow!!! This is great! Congratulations on six years smoke-free.
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The emotional availability is something I need to work on as well. During these first weeks of sobriety, I understand that it all had to be about me and getting my head in the right place. But although it’s gonna be really hard, I have to start being emotionally there for my husband. I’m learning that without reflection we continue in old behavioral patterns and remain unable to pull ourselves out of them. Reflection is key. Thank you for sharing.
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As soon as I’m done, I’ll post it!! 
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1147 days alcohol free
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Thank you, means a lot. Here we go again 
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You are definitely speaking my language. That’s so true.
I’m glad to see you discovered your path. You didn’t stop trying. You didn’t give up. Thank you for sharing this. 638 days. Amazing.
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Thanks Kevin, I appreciate your words. I am also super happy that you are still here, being tenacious against this disease we have. Congrats on your days my friend.
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Bloody cravings this weekend. I went on a trip with my son who is a nice kid - what an original phrase for a parent 
- but pretty stubborn and incredibly absent minded. He doesn’t have an ADHD, but concentrates almost exclusively on what interests him and is much of a dreamer (which is great, but only to some extent).
Anyway, the walks in the nature were awesome, the fresh air exhilarating, I swam twice in beautiful lakes (the water is really refreshing: about 12 degrees Celsius and in one of the lakes of an astonishing green color) etc., but when it came to “ordinary” stuf, I had to yell at him sometimes.
I am a bit afraid of how I would have coped if hadn’t taken with me a couple of disulfiram pills.
Now that we are back home, it’s ok.
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