Checking in 24 days (few hours) sober. Greatfull I am, many times I just wanted to f****** drink to calm down my self and my anger, but I did not. Happy for that every morning. Staying strong.
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Thank you HoneyBee I definitely needed a gluten and dairy free cake to brighten my day. 
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I know youāre right. And I absolutely needed to hear that, Thank you. Unfortunately I canāt get it out of my mind. Thatās the problem when something like this happens I have a tendency to always see and plan for worst case scenario. I canāt help it. It doesnāt make me feel better, I sure now that but I just canāt help it.
I hope everything is going well for you.
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Thank you. I hope youāre right,but with all the shit weāve gone through with tweeniu and the social service here I completely doubt the fact that anyone in that office have a slightest Clue on what they are supposed to do at work. But I hope youāre right. 
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For some reason I can only do three answers at a time.
Thank you @Its_me_Stella for your wishes.
And @Chiron Iāve read those stories too, but Iāve also read enough stories about the opposite for when they donāt act and someone actually dies. Iāve also been on the āother sideā being a social worker. But after all weāve been through in that social service office with tweenie the past year. And their making her dictate the terms and conditions for on how they are supposed to work so itās Best for her. Without even questioning it, makes me have zero trust in them. If Iām lucky they still got the same boss (The one I reported to the authorities) and Iāll be able to report them all again. For false accusations. And trust me I will, even if theyāre instantly dropping our case.
This time however Iām taking it further, and perhaps the media will be interested in a good deep diving scoop. I know Iām not the only one here whoās questioning them at the moment.
If I forgot to mention anyone, Iām sorry. My deepest Thank you to each one of you. You are all amazing, and I needed all of your kind words and greetings for today.
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Iāve never thought of it that way. Iām giving it a try, Thank you 
Iām so glad youāre here, your advice is always awesome. Did you pick any blueberries this Summer? Iāve missed so much here I donāt even know where to start.
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@Darby1 congrats on 2 months 
@anon27760155 so sad to see you hurting like this, please donāt let it consume you, sending love and prayers 
@Fury sorry about the band stuff and depression, but congrats on 400 days sending strength
@Betteroffbaby congrats on 90 days
@Soundlab sorry to hear this. Welcome back 
@Freeyourmind congrats on 9 months
@MrsOdh so sorry youāre being put through this but let them do their job and they will see what a great family you are and the case will be closed. Congrats on your year 
385 days no.alcohol.
353 days no cocaine.
I binged real bad last night, on a take away from a pizza delivery company, to the point I couldnāt lay down afterwards due to coughing and choking on whatever was trying to come back out. Felt awful for the whole sleepless night and most of today too, but this afternoon I went and bought crisps and spent 3 hours bingeing all of them. I really hope itās out of my system now, these urges to binge. The addict.vojce with the ājust start again on 1st Septemberā definitely won the battle last night, and again today. Really hoping I can sleep tonight and try to get through tomorrow without it happening again.
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Day 16.6 back to work tomorrow! Felt less energetic today but did get a yoga session in 
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Thatās stinking thinking Matt. Why is it right to drink when we are on holiday? The fact that so many people do it doesnāt make it right. You sound as if youāre jealous of the drinkers. This thinking has to change or youāll never be quit. you have to believe you are doing something good by quitting, that you are saving your mind, body and soul by abstaining from alcohol. If you think you are giving up something really fun it will not work.
Yes. No more thoughts. Thatās what alcohol gives us. Until the effect wears off. And we need ever more to reach that effect.
Thereās the return of your thoughts. Until your next drink. A downward spiral, forever further descending into the abyss. We canāt drink or we wouldnāt be here Matt. You have to change your mindset. You can do this but you have to change. You have to want this more than anything in the world. The easiest example is that you need to want to be sober more than you want that drink that the holiday people are having. Success Matt. Get more help from wherever you can get it.
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@Nordique oh goodness, your posts are everything. Remember being new to sobriety and looking to those who are where you what to be? Even if we donāt say it, your posts give us new folks hope. 
Thanks again!
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Thatās no way to celebrate an anniversary Sophia. Iām sorry. I am absolutely sure youāll be good though. I just know. And big congrats on your full year of sobriety friend! Hugs. Love.
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Thank you. I just wish there wasnāt mire challenges like this. Iām tired of never being able to relax or focus on the real furure instead of being in āsurvive the dayā mode constantly.
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Thank you dear. I love how you added a Swedish greeting card
I hope it all is well with you.
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Thatās good. Weāve got a lot of blueberries here this year, just as lingon and mushrooms. But I have to admit that I havenāt been out at all.
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Iām really sorry youāre struggling getting your bingeing under control Tyler. I wish I had some magic words for ya. Iāve been around awhile and Iām starting to learn these EDās are a real fucken bitch to get under control. People seem to be knocking out their DOC problems but the EDās continue to linger. You are not alone.
Is there anything at all you can change about your eating routine that can confuse your mind and your triggers?
Youāre in my prayers buddy.
I pray God will will give you the strength to knock this one down. Amen.
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Day 29 without alcohol / Day 275 without cannabis
Just a quick check in to say Iām good, sober, and feeling good about being sober today! Trying to find something simple to celebrate everyday, and being alcohol free these days seems to always provide something to acknowledge and take joy in 
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Mhm, like Eric said I read that part of your post as drinking still being held at high value. As if itās something that people on vacation are privileged to do, of course they will be having a drink they are on vacation. That is our diseased mind that sees it as thatā¦ there is no āof courseā or ādrinking fits with this activityā that is just how we see it. Nobody else sees it that wayā¦ people go on vacations all the time and donāt drink at all or are away for two weeks and on that whole two week vacation share ONE bottle of wine at a dinnerā¦ ONE shared in two weeks.
I am sorry that you have slipped again, if you tell yourself you canāt do this you will never be able to do it. You need to believe that it is possible, you need to see your sickness for what it isā¦ that you are viewing alcohol through rose colored glasses still, as it ruins your life. This is the insanity of our diseaseā¦ we put poison in our body knowingly and we suffer knowing what we need to do to stop it.
There are some pretty simple ways to get through this, you just need to be willing to put the work in. Itās not going to go away on its own.
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Day 127.
6.34am.
Last day of winter!!
Last day of winter woo hooooo!!!
Yesterday I could literally smell the Jasmin blooming in the airā¦ This warms my soul to its core
I had an Interesting morning yesterday. It was literally straight out of an episode of the regular show 
Iām sure some of yāall are familiar with the regular show?
So basically I was doing my thing down at the park, hanging with the cockatoos. We were having a lovely time , till a park ranger approaches me and proceeded to make small talk about how he had never seen the cockatoos sit on anyoneās shoulders/arms they friendly way they were with meā¦
Thennnnn he proceed to tell me he did not come over here to āfine meā but Iām best not to feed them again etcā¦ He gave me a cautionary warning and walked off all smug with his coffee in handā¦
This park ranger was on his own. He did not need to do what he did, yet be proceeded to be a d%&k and talk to me with his regular show park ranger bs lolā¦ Such a mood killer and just not nice really.
Telling someone they canāt feed WILD cockatoos.
No one owns them. They can eat from who ever they please.
I think the ranger had small man syndrome. He was short and moody
Anyway so that was yesterdayā¦ The regular show come to life
Normally I would of been triggered being tested like that, but my mood stayed rosey
No urges or cravings
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I bet itās tweenies mother; try not to let it consume you, Sophia. Youāre an amazing mother and a beautiful soul, anyone will see that immediately in the social system.
Stand strong and proudā¦ 
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Thatās what I was going to say.
@MrsOdh soph congrats on the big 1 year!! You work hard at your sobriety and it shows
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