This is so amazing! Huge congrats!!!
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Congrats on 365 Days 
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You are destined to be what you think you will be.
It seems to me, from only this post, that the place for you to begin is with your thoughts. Forget about whether or not you are or are not drinking, but rather look inside. You are already drinking in your thoughts. They seem to be consuming you.
This is not a state within which you can succeed.
Why do you want to quit drinking? Do you really want it? What is your plan? You donāt need to answer me, but rather theyāre questions for you to ponder and to answer honestly. Your thoughts will eventually become your feelings and from there they will be your actions.
The bible quote, āas a man thinketh in his heart, so is heā is precisely this. You do not need to be any particular religion to find wisdom in a religious text either. You can say you want to quit all you want, but if you are constantly thinking about drinking, then you will drink. This has nothing to do with will power.
In conjunction with attending meetings, something you may find useful is to do research on changing your thought patterns. Uncouple common associations with drinking. It all begins in the mind. It is hard work, but I have no doubt you can accomplish it.
You do not have to be a chronic relapser, but you most definitely will be if youāve already decided from the start that is your destiny.
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- Reason number 54892330 not to do drugs. Customer that was high as a kite took a big old poop on my storeās sidewalkā¦infront of everyone. Oblivious to other customers. She just dropped her pants and pooped
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Whaaat??? Oh my goodness!!!
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Omgā¦.I donāt evenā¦.hahahah 
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I think what @Its_me_Stella
Is saying itās our stinking thinking.
I use to fly cross country to see my folks. Or even short flights. And my thinking was Iām stuck at the airport. Iām delayed. Iām missing my connection. Iām on vacation. āRightfully soā I deserve to get all liquored up. It took me a long time. But I donāt think like that anymore. I think how great Iām going to feel after the flight and no hangover in the morning. And I can drive or whatever.
I am glad you are back here checking in immediately after you had a drink.
Now that I got a good chunk of days sober I realize there is no ārightly soā for drinking. For me.
Try checking in before you pick up. Or call a friend. Or a meeting.
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Checking in 24 days (few hours) sober. Greatfull I am, many times I just wanted to f****** drink to calm down my self and my anger, but I did not. Happy for that every morning. Staying strong.
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Thank you HoneyBee I definitely needed a gluten and dairy free cake to brighten my day.
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I know youāre right. And I absolutely needed to hear that, Thank you. Unfortunately I canāt get it out of my mind. Thatās the problem when something like this happens I have a tendency to always see and plan for worst case scenario. I canāt help it. It doesnāt make me feel better, I sure now that but I just canāt help it.
I hope everything is going well for you.
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Thank you. I hope youāre right,but with all the shit weāve gone through with tweeniu and the social service here I completely doubt the fact that anyone in that office have a slightest Clue on what they are supposed to do at work. But I hope youāre right. 
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For some reason I can only do three answers at a time.
Thank you @Its_me_Stella for your wishes.
And @Chiron Iāve read those stories too, but Iāve also read enough stories about the opposite for when they donāt act and someone actually dies. Iāve also been on the āother sideā being a social worker. But after all weāve been through in that social service office with tweenie the past year. And their making her dictate the terms and conditions for on how they are supposed to work so itās Best for her. Without even questioning it, makes me have zero trust in them. If Iām lucky they still got the same boss (The one I reported to the authorities) and Iāll be able to report them all again. For false accusations. And trust me I will, even if theyāre instantly dropping our case.
This time however Iām taking it further, and perhaps the media will be interested in a good deep diving scoop. I know Iām not the only one here whoās questioning them at the moment.
If I forgot to mention anyone, Iām sorry. My deepest Thank you to each one of you. You are all amazing, and I needed all of your kind words and greetings for today.
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Iāve never thought of it that way. Iām giving it a try, Thank you 
Iām so glad youāre here, your advice is always awesome. Did you pick any blueberries this Summer? Iāve missed so much here I donāt even know where to start.
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@Darby1 congrats on 2 months
@anon27760155 so sad to see you hurting like this, please donāt let it consume you, sending love and prayers 
@Fury sorry about the band stuff and depression, but congrats on 400 days sending strength
@Betteroffbaby congrats on 90 days
@Soundlab sorry to hear this. Welcome back 
@Freeyourmind congrats on 9 months
@MrsOdh so sorry youāre being put through this but let them do their job and they will see what a great family you are and the case will be closed. Congrats on your year 
385 days no.alcohol.
353 days no cocaine.
I binged real bad last night, on a take away from a pizza delivery company, to the point I couldnāt lay down afterwards due to coughing and choking on whatever was trying to come back out. Felt awful for the whole sleepless night and most of today too, but this afternoon I went and bought crisps and spent 3 hours bingeing all of them. I really hope itās out of my system now, these urges to binge. The addict.vojce with the ājust start again on 1st Septemberā definitely won the battle last night, and again today. Really hoping I can sleep tonight and try to get through tomorrow without it happening again.
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Day 16.6 back to work tomorrow! Felt less energetic today but did get a yoga session in 
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Thatās stinking thinking Matt. Why is it right to drink when we are on holiday? The fact that so many people do it doesnāt make it right. You sound as if youāre jealous of the drinkers. This thinking has to change or youāll never be quit. you have to believe you are doing something good by quitting, that you are saving your mind, body and soul by abstaining from alcohol. If you think you are giving up something really fun it will not work.
Yes. No more thoughts. Thatās what alcohol gives us. Until the effect wears off. And we need ever more to reach that effect.
Thereās the return of your thoughts. Until your next drink. A downward spiral, forever further descending into the abyss. We canāt drink or we wouldnāt be here Matt. You have to change your mindset. You can do this but you have to change. You have to want this more than anything in the world. The easiest example is that you need to want to be sober more than you want that drink that the holiday people are having. Success Matt. Get more help from wherever you can get it.
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@Nordique oh goodness, your posts are everything. Remember being new to sobriety and looking to those who are where you what to be? Even if we donāt say it, your posts give us new folks hope. 
Thanks again!
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Thatās no way to celebrate an anniversary Sophia. Iām sorry. I am absolutely sure youāll be good though. I just know. And big congrats on your full year of sobriety friend! Hugs. Love.
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Thank you. I just wish there wasnāt mire challenges like this. Iām tired of never being able to relax or focus on the real furure instead of being in āsurvive the dayā mode constantly.
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