Hang in there! I hope you have a stress free day today 
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What a blessing you are! Sending prayers and angel wings and a cozy set of slippers. It is such a wonderful thing you are doing. Please remember amidst all of this … that You are important too. 
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Checking in Day 36 Alcohol Free / Day 282 Cannabis Free
Today was all right. Things are still off with my boyfriend (again), but we did go on a hike today and see the ocean. The attempts at normalcy or doing nice things together is strange amidst the tension that is also there. The other night I thought there was some progress…and I realized later he was actually drunk, which bummed me out. I was looking up Al-Anon meetings today when he walked by and went and took a swig off a bottle. His drinking is nowhere near what mine had been, but it still affects him and us, contributes to our communication problems, and is becoming a challenge for me. We are supposed to have a big talk tomorrow night. I know he has things he wants to say, as do I. And to be honest, I’ve got one foot out the door. I want to approach it whole-heartedly with optimism for our future, but I am admitting to myself (and verbalizing here) that this might not be the partner for my life. There are certain things that I don’t know I want to continue to be around or struggle against when I know I have a choice to walk away. Or it could all be stumbling blocks on a path together. I just don’t know. So yeah, strange times over here but ultimately I feel good about my life in general, and I know a big part of that is being sober. Even if there is confusion going on, I’m not adding on another layer of confusion by drinking. It’s helping me remain more level-headed and for that I am happy.
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You are learning so much about yourself. And it seems you got things well thought out. I’m sorry you got a rough patch you got to go through with the BF. Praying for you. And that you can continue to keep your sobriety your top priority and that your BF will come around and support you.
You’re an awesome lady.
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DAY 1. Again.
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Thank you. I needed to hear that 
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Patty.
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@Complicatedmama , I just read this thread. I’m sending prayers your way. You are an amazing human and aunt.
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Checking in, with my coffee. So I been sober for 1 month. It feels great, everyday waking up sober. I defenitly feel some difference, and I lost some weigth. But that can of course come from Im working more and the change of eating aswell. Im very much tired when I wake in the morning, feeling like a zombie, and having bodypains. The doctor say its my muscels, but it really tireds me out, and give me more anxiety. But Im happy to made it this far, and keep going.
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Day 27 pills
Day 417 alcohol
Had my most honest conversation with my wife yesterday about my pill use. It was still a bit of a sanitised story but she didn’t run away or look too horrified so it was a positive step. It made things feel a bit more real and while the addiction in me feels like it now makes using in future now more difficult, my better self is grateful to have someone else on my team.
I’ve been off alcohol for over a year. But sobriety isn’t stopping alcohol whilst washing down benzos with alcohol-free beer to quell anxiety, stop the feelings happening and get to sleep.
I dialled into an online AA meeting for the first time yesterday. I was too nervous to contribute but I listened. I’m going to look into 12 step programs and work out how best to be part of that now.
Thanks to the folks here who helped me yesterday.
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- Coffee. Another late shift coming up. Had a very busy one last night. Happy I don’t feel the need to down two bottles of wine to unwind when I finish my shift. I still need to unwind but I found other, better ways to do so. Drinking just made my day disappear in a black hole. Now I actually get to process what happened. Sober and clean. One day at a time.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober is a good start to that. Love from my little square where they are taking out the shallowest tree roots that mess with the paving. Must be some allegory in there. For now I just hope the trees survive.
@Amisober very happy to read that Ami! You’re a winner!
@Complicatedmama Wow. that’s just amazing. Thinking of you and the throng of little ones you’re taking care of lady.
@CATMANCAM You can do this too. Screw vaping. Find more help in kicking nicotine’s butt. It is a crafty foe, but you can beat it too I am sure.
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Not criticizing you, but shouldn’t you go to AA and find a sponsor there for that? Seems the logical thing to do.
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Day 884. My goodness! All kinds of hilarity and madness have come to pass. Stay awesome out there!
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Hey everybody, checking in on day 450 today. I hope everybody has a good one 
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I agree with @Mno
I think you would do well to check out the meetings. It’s another support system that might make a difference!
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Day 392
Still feeling like I wish I could rinse my brain out with cold water or something, to freshen it up, get it reset or something. Gonna go on the gratitude thread and get my head out of my ass.
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Before I got a sponsor and did the 12 steps I first started going to meetings and sat and listened, then started to share a bit and then reached out for a sponsor. Buy yourself a big book and start reading it. Do all this and I would be more than happy to sponsor you but first ask yourself a question and give yourself an honest answer, ’ Are you prepared to go to any length possible to stay sober?’.
24 hour AA zoom meeting, next time you want to drink go to a meeting.
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Day 452 clean and sober today. Last night almost turned into a shit show in my head but I just went to bed. Doing a little better this morning but I can feel it still being close. I hope to get my car fixed soon so I can go camping on my weekends and get some peace. I love my job but working and living on campus without a way to get away is weighing on me like they said it would. Three guys relapsed and left the program in the last week and it reminds me a lot of Corey. Just feeling off and needing some love and support. Thank you everyone for always being there for me . Have a great day I love you guys 
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