10 months 
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- Coffee. Therapy day. Yesterday was good wholesome me time. Did a mindfulness exercise in the oldest building in town. Went to the gym. Cooked myself some good food. Cuddled with Luna. Didnāt think too much about heavy stuff. Thatās for today. Writing this down feeling some anxiety coming up now. Time for some more mindfulness I guess. Iāll deal with life as it happens. Or at least Iām trying to. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from the Oude Kerk.
@Bassanova Goed bezig Bart, gefeliciteerd!
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418!
Iāve been a basket case this week. I guess this is me when I donāt work out and eat all the sugar. Iāve been trending on a downward spiral for months now. I gotta get it together.
I was convinced I was pregnant for like 5 days and that was messing with my head like crazy. I have had bouts of anxiety and depression and just been mentally unstable. Started my period finally and now maybe life will carry on back to normal!
One thing is for sure! I am going back to the gym! Soon! It is like night and day the person I am when I work out! Plus the PMS isnāt so bad when I work out.
Went to 2 meetings so far! My friend decided not to go to rehab. She is doing much better. The meetings are that good! She had an anxiety attack at the second one and sat outside though. One day at a time.
Have a great day eveyone!!
@WCan Congrats on 1 year 
Great seeing you here. 
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Day 143
7.52pm
2nd check in.
Iāve noticed that we have ALOT of new members that have joined us recently.
So if you are a newbie to our amazing little community we have here, welcome!! 
We have a truly special place here full of amazing humans, with lots of great information and advice.
Anytime you need an ear to lean on, reach out because there is generally always some one online in some corner of the earth. We are many many countries near and far 
Stay strong 
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well done and what a lovely quote. If you are life then your life must be amazing.
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itās good to see you kicking about again, Iāve not forgot your kind words you gave me when I first joined TS all that time ago. Ever need a chat just to keep you distracted and keep your eye on the ball DM me.
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Yesss! So true April! It is 3 am in Vegas and I am wide awake. I woke up at 1am and canāt go back to sleep! lolā¦
Your bike ride has me inspired btw that sounded amazingā¦ 
Love you!
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Made 17 days AF and through a girls night.
Aiming for an AF weekend
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You havnt always been in vegas have you!?! Or have I just completely missed that amazing fact all together some how lol??
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Love you too !
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Day 401
On paper, doing well. Did lots of cleaning yesterday, today did lots of work prep and taught classes well, am being active in online Japanese study group. But still feel funky, sensitive, irritable, binge-eating and too much online shopping. Had a petty argument with my husband and now we are not really talking. Urgh.
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Itās geeat Menno, my friend bought it as a present, comes with a case, really small when dismantled. Think it was about Ā£15 so approx ā¬19ā¦ no mess on floor either 
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Checking in on day 28!
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Checking in for last night for 45 Days Alcohol Free, which I missed because I was zonked and forget to do it before bed.
My boyfriend tried to talk to me about relationships stuff last night. Parts of the conversation were ok, parts just felt like it was going in circles and it was frustrating. Then I realized he was pretty drunk (heād been drinking a lot before I got home and hadnāt eaten anything ā dangerous combination). When I realized what was going on I honestly didnāt want to say that I wanted to end the conversation because he was drunk because last time it led to a blow up and he was really indignant about it. Why is it that drunk people donāt like to be told they are drunk? At least I know for me, I did not like it if someone pointed it out. Anyways, I managed to let the conversation wind down. He immediately fell asleep afterward even though he was supposed to be making dinner. I let the situation rest for a little bit and then made the sandwiches and woke him up. My plan was to wait until today when he was sober to tell him that I donāt think itās a good idea to try and talk about our relationship issues and how we communicate if heās been drinking, but he beat me to it. This morning as soon as we woke up he apologized and said he shouldnāt have tried to have the conversation after heād been drinking so much.
Soā¦it doesnāt change what happened, but at least there is an acknowledgement and awareness that it doesnāt make the conversations any easier or productive. It really seems to impede it. Butā¦is this progress? I think? On my side of things, Iām that that I managed to avoid some habits. I didnāt internalize his behavior or blame myself for what was being brought up in the conversation. I didnāt stew in it even though it tired me out and I was annoyed he was drunk. I thought about what happened and made a plan to move forward with him the next day. Living with someone who drinks definitely makes it more complicated. It used to be that seeing someone else drink made me want to as well, but now itās more like I see even more clearly how it holds people back. Alcohol complicates so many things in peopleās lives. Everyone can make their own choices about what to consume, but is alcohol worth it? Is the feeling that good to have to maneuver all these other things around it? Not for me anymore. I never have to worry about whether or not I can drive home after going out for dinner, I never have to lose an afternoon and evening because I decided to drink a few glasses of wine at lunch, I never have to wake up hungover, I never have to explain myself for something I said while I was drunkā¦and on and on. I am grateful for this change Iāve made in my life.
This weekend his dad and dadās wife are coming to visit. They have their own place right near by so they will be in their own space. But man, do they like to party. I am excited to see them because they are really friendly and fun people. I am also mentally preparing myself for being around a lot of alcohol, weed, perhaps even cocaine because they like to do that for āspecial occasionsā as well (and trust me, they can make anything a special occasion). Not just being around it, but they also like to tell stories about partying ā it just makes up such a big part of their lives and will offer renditions of nights of exactly what they drank, how much, what kind of weed they smoked or how many edibles they had, how they consumed it, and how crazy it was. I love them, but it gets really oldā¦
So how will I show up to this weekend? I will probably have to remind them that I donāt drink or smoke and I may have to decline a few times because they will be in party mindset. They have gotten better about remembering that I donāt drink over the last year but it doesnāt seem to stick that I donāt smoke weed. I will have plenty of seltzer as my drink of choice, and Iāll pick up some kind of fun N/A beverage for myself today for my own version of celebrating ā juice to mix with the seltzer or maybe a ginger beer or these honey sodas they have around here that I get as a special treat sometimes. Iāll also come and check in on here if it gets weird or frustrating or whatever. I know they really are good people and Iāve been around them sober a bunch in the past so I know itās possible and have confidence in myself. I think the hardest part will be when they start telling stories about getting fucked up because it gets pretty boring and itās hard to redirect the conversation.
One thing Iām really excited about is that I got them this gift that I think they will really love and appreciate. I bought it for them at a local art vendor thing earlier this month because I just knew theyād love it. Itās hard to explain but Iāll take a photo before I give it to them and share it with you guys later
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263 days
@Its_me_Stella canāt beat a happy place it means so much now. Yours looks very happy 
@WCan fantastic achievement hitting your 1 year milestone totally awesome 
Welcome back @Thumper1213 and @KevinesKay never give up the good fight
@Bassanova well done on 10 months 
@Mno wow love the inside of churches could spend hours in them especially stained glass.
Having a lovely time, new job called now not starting until a week Monday due to my boss to be having to take a week off, happy with that. So going to get away next week
Being having lots of niggling thoughts about how a glass of wine would make everything even better, so mentally saying piss off, it wonāt be, been there too many times. But had moments of struggle. It helps me to write it down seeing it on paper, and ranting to myself also works.
Couple of photos from sunset walk last night. Off now for another hike
Have a good day/night all 
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Love the rays of the sun! Gorgeous!
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I was surprised I caught it, my photos are always classed ādo not do it justiceā 
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Checking in on day 131. All good here in the American midwest. Its that time of year where you canāt see around the corn at intersections. The corn giveth and the corn taketh away. I havenāt felt the urge to drink in quite a while. Have a wonderful day everyone.
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Morning checking in on day 106. Today I have to bring my 14yr old to get a substance evaluation. Seems the apple doesnāt fall far from the tree. She canāt get through a day without using marijuana or alcohol. No matter how much I snoop and all the therapist I give her does not work. She is a master manipulater!! She wiggles, worms, lies, and steals her way into getting what she wants. I can t even take her to grocery store. She will steal vanilla extract. My stress level is through the roof. Regardless, I will not give up on her and I will not give up on my sobriety. I need to stay sober to be there for her. And to show her that its possible to stop drinking. I was a heavy drinker at the end at a handle a dayā¦I am lucky to be alive today. Gratefulā:raised_hands:
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I got 3 days clean and sober
Already starting to feel like myself again .
Itās been a bumpy road and was struggling after my last big relapse but Iām back and Iām here to stay. Just want to thank everyone on here who have been a huge support.
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