Day 464 clean and sober today. Had to reset my smoking counter, had a cigarette with my coffee this morning. Wore the patch all night and had a nicotine lozenge as well before I caved. Very much a mental thing I’m finding. I hope everyone has a beautiful day today, love you guys! 
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D 353
I’m here, I don’t watch porn because I don’t watch porn. Do you hear that, my addict brain?? I DON’T WATCH PORN ANYMORE. You mother trucker… 
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This is profound my friend, me either! Keep up the good work I’m sooooo proud of you!!!
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Your Mum seems like she was a total rockstar from that picture. 
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You are right, it is.
I joined this forum 2 days before I stopped using but unfortunately I chose to delete my first account so all of my posts from the begining of my journey were deleted. I see now how that was a crappy move but alas we live and learn. If I hadn’t done that you could have seen first hand the struggles I had during the first few months, making this same trip with my days intact.
Staying clean those first few months when we have lots of emotions is not easy but eventually with hard work one can find peace.
Congrats on your days.
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Woooohooooo!!!
30 consecutive days without booze.
Congrats.
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very nice Allen, congrats mate. Do you remember when doing 150 days seems impossible, now there’s just the small fact you got 1000 in front of it 
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57 days of sobriety!
Attended a wedding reception sober for the first time ever. I went into the wardrobe to dust off my old go-to wedding attire, and everything was either covered in wine stains or ripped from my drunken shenanigans. Stitched up the least damaged dress, but I think I’ll invest in something new next time.
The bar had alcohol-free berry cider, so that was my drink of the night. People were pretty good about leaving me alone when they realised I wasn’t drinking alcohol.
A few realisations I had:
-I never needed booze to be or have fun, nor to be a better conversationalist around strangers.
-High heels hurt sooooooo much more when you’re sober. Never wearing them again!
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2 weeks is huge!!! They were the worst for me to get through, hopefully that is the case for you too!!!
Congrats, keep going 24 hrs at a time.
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Checking in and feeling good today. Big things in the works, well, big for me. I’m meeting up with a woman on Tuesday to go walking and it’s the first time I’ve tried making a friend here in quite some time. She shared on a local Facebook group that I’m on that she’s new to town and looking to meet people. I’m a bit nervous! Totally out of practice. But I feel like it’s important to try. I’ll bring Lupe with me, so that helps, even though when she’s out on a leash she’s not very social with people. She’s pretty obsessive about checking out her surroundings and couldn’t care less about people. It cracks me up, honestly, because she is so affectionate at home with anyone. What a strange half feral creature. Oh and there’s the whole trying to get pregnant thing…yeah, it feels like a lot going on in my world. Glad to be taking real steps for myself and my future though! Sending you all a big hug 
as it seems like it’s needed.
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Congratulations!
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Another day went well. Except a slight headache, probably caused by the weather change.
A week or so ago I had to buy alcohol for a dinner at my place. Just a couple of friends whom I told I stopped drinking but never explained I REALLY had a problem with booze.
Anyway, cooking was both fun and stressful (just a bit), cause one of them is on keto, the other vegetarian, the third one doesn’t eat dairy 
. There was just the two of us “omnivores”. I could have ordered food from a restaurant, but this was way better and “homey”.
After the dinner, I’ve put the half full bottles on a kind of bar/table in my dining room. I regularly dust, vacuum etc., but only today I noticed the bottles of gin, whiskey and acquavite. The red wine is probably in one of the kitchen cupboards I don’t use.
So I realized I had no problem with having alcohol in my house, but I will - just to be on the safe side - remove it one of these days.
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Yes. Same!! My first 6 months of failing at trying went poof in a blink of an eye. There were a couple of good threads in there too.
At 23 months sober, my impulsive ‘decisions’ are nearly non-existent. Nearly. 
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@DetLionsFan Great job Mike! Two weeks is a real success. Every day is its own victory.
@MolotovMoxie One month! Great work!
@Its_me_Stella :
This sounds like a move I would make. I have a history of inevitably destroying anything that leaves a record of my personal doings, which could have been useful to have later.
But the upside is you might be less likely to fall in them when you’re sober? 
Great job with the reception!
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Checking in…
630 days substance free
I feel the need to check in self injury free. Since last night I have been sitting in a lot of fear around someone dear to me being very ill. The feeling of being helpless makes my addict beg for something to control. I have already been in a terrible state with my ED and am now having some pretty intense urges to self injure. My feelings are pretty steady, they are a constant burn of pain not a tidal of emotion that I can not handle. This emotional response I am experiencing is different to what I am used to and my previous reactions would definitely not fit. It wouldn’t feel right to scream, cry and lose my fucking mind like I would have in years past and maybe even last year. But because this is new I feel like I am still unsure of what to do with it, my head keeps trying to go back to old means of coping. They just don’t fit anymore though so here I am talking about it, I will just make sure I am not alone today and I will get myself to a meeting tonight. I posted this on another thread the other day, it is what I am feeling right now though… in a huge way.
Congrats on your recovery everyone.
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That’s growth to me friend. Big time. I’m glad you’re checking in here. We got you and I feel you actually got this. Hugs.
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I’m glad you posted Stella. It’s the hardest thing to feel so helpless and be trying to let go and let God. I hope checking in here helps until your meeting. It sounds like you have a cautious good plan. There is no going back for us.
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