That’s gonna be a lot of cake for you buddy.
So happy for ya.
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You’re right. You weren’t meant for this place. This place was meant for you.
My long-winded reply under an arrow to keep things neat and tidy.
Mike, look, maybe you’re pulling away because you are giving up and going back to your addiction and no one here can stop you from doing that, but maybe it is just a feeling of disconnect and I understand how that is, and it’s hard.
This place is just a tool and it’s not going to have the same use for everyone. But the difficult thing is that Talking Sober, like any other community, is made up of people. Just people. All kinds of people.
Life is not static. Everything in life changes. You are changing every day and so are the people here. Everyone has lives of their own. They have challenges that come up, they have emotional swells and dips, they become pulled this way or that by the flavor of news being put out day by day, etc.
The world is changing and so are people. I’ve noticed a general disconnect in people everywhere. It’s very likely what you’re feeling has nothing to do with you, but with what is going on inside others. And really, we live in a world where you could innocently say something and it can offend the world view of another so that they don’t want to talk to you. It could be for anything, and we as a society communicate with each other so poorly, that it just compounds the problem.
You cannot do anything about this except be who you are. And part of being who you are is really admitting to yourself what you want and need, then figuring out how to get it instead of withdrawing in pain. If there are people who you feel have pulled away, and it really matters to you, then reach out, send a PM. See if there really is an issue or if you are perceiving something that isn’t really there.
And what if it is you? What if you said something or did something and then they no longer wanted to communicate with you? Does that mean you’re worthless, or some other horrible thing? No. This is something within the other person to figure out. We cannot live our lives trying to be okay in other peoples’ eyes to maintain a good connection. A person can go crazy doing that. So if that happened, mourn that loss then try to let it go.
No one is psychic, but most of us really want others to be–just someone please notice how much pain I’m in and reach out! This sets us up to fail. It really does. And even when we reach out, even when we feel like we’ve been SO clear, sometimes our efforts fall flat because the truth is that we do not all communicate or understand things in the same ways. There will be misunderstandings all around. And you know what? That really fucking sucks. It really does.
I don’t know you, but I’ve read your posts. I cheer for your efforts, and feel sad when things don’t go how you’d hoped. I don’t comment much on your posts because I don’t always have something to say, or I have trouble keeping up with all the posts, or even because I honestly struggle connecting with other people. Nothing at all to do with you. Could definitely be the same with others, but you simply aren’t aware of whatever is happening on the other side.
And, by the way, if you ever need to talk, my message box is always open to you.
Allow the world to ebb and flow around you, Mike, because it inevitably will and you cannot stop it. Leave TS if you truly want, but I read your message and I think that isn’t what you really want. I read your message and I think, “It looks like Mike is really hurting, longing for something that has moved on, and wants it back, but doesn’t know how to do that, so maybe he is hoping someone will read his post and reach out.” I could be wrong, but if I’m not, I hope you know that you have the power to change the situation and all things change with time, even what you’re feeling right now.
I wish you the absolute best in whatever you choose, but just know that this place can make a difference for you if you choose to stay; and if you choose to stay, you can make a difference for this place.
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Happy birthday and congratulations on that year date coming up. What a great birthday gift to give yourself.
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Happy 50th birthday Paul! 
That’s a special one!
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- Coffee. Lots of working days ahead. It’s OK. It’s life. ODAAT.
Yesterday was a special day. Scattering my mum’s ashes with my sis was special. I didn’t think it would move me like it did. Just ashes. But I feel it changed the dynamic of my relationship with my sis, and I feel I can think a bit different about my early years and my relationship to mum now.
So it was a good Sunday. Pic is my sis and me on our way (posted it in another thread but I think it’s worth posting again). We found a perfect spot under a Rowan tree. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@anon53116147 I think @Chiron just said it all. Use this place. I think you shouldn’t leave, just take what yours and leave the rest and all that. I want you here but that’s not what it’s about. Love to you brother.
@Dolse71 Smart move to quit the day after your birthday Paul. Have a good one.
@CATMANCAM yay you Tyler! Makes me happy.
@OneBoiledOwl 5 years! Wow! Congrats!
@icebear Huge congrats on reaching triple digits Drew!
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Congratulations! Both for your birthday and the success you’ve made!!! WELL DONE!
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I’m just checking in. Day 13
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Congratulations on your 300 days buddy.
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Day 1097 
Goodmorning/goodnight 
Here I am again on the daily check in tread.
Thank you for all your wishes on my 3 year milestone tread, it was so nice to celebrate and share it with you all.
Have a nice sober/clean day!
I’m off for a walk before going to work
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Soon 45 days, made it longer then my longest stretch on 41 days last year. Going to make this day sober, Im never sober on this date, Im ready to stay strong for today.
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Congratulations on your 300 days sober and the 339. It’s a long way and you are doing an amazing job.
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Oh I love that pic. klompen? Very cool 
Have a nice walk with an extra prideful step in your walk.
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Here I am trying again day 1
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Good for you Emma.
Sure nice to see you pop in.
I hope to see you again on the gratitude thread.
God Bless.
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9 whole days today. For me the worst is over I know what I have to do…A bad day sober is still better than hung over that’s foresure…
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@RetainKingII Great job for your 300 days!
@Lilemm Welcome back. You can do this.
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Thankyou for your kind words🙏
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This is keeping me sober right now. Rough day…only dinner left and then bedtime to make 3 weeks.
Congrats to you all on all the big numbers I’m seeing and birthdays, adventures and successes big and small, and staying sober 
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@RetainKingII Congratulations!
@Dolse71 Happy birthday and happy sober day! I can’t think of a better present to urself.
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