Happy Birthday!! Huge congrats on your year!! Celebrate yourself.
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49 Days Alcohol Free / 290 Days Cannabis Free
Survived the family visit and no relapses despite being surrounded by partying and intoxicants all weekend. Seeing other people messed up also reinforced my desire to be sober. But Iâm tiredâŠready for a good nights sleep tonight. Big week ahead.
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I have been reading your post for a long time
Iâm sorry when I tried to reach out the words came out wrong
I donât want you to feel disconnected.
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Checking in on my 20th day. 
Feeling good overall and hope youâre doing well too famâŠ! 
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What a midnight celebration !!
Congratulations !!
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Congrats on your 100 days Drew.
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Hey there brother, there are so many people on here from so many different backgrounds, you donât need to click with any/everybody buddy⊠There are no obligations or expectations on here, just yourself⊠Maybe you just need some time for yourself or even vent on here if itâs not offensive, but honesty is important 
Everybody is different here. 
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Sending you an electronic hug haha, really hope you get through this! Youâre super strong Stella, something to be proud of!
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Your not here for us your here for you. Fuck us and the disconnections, think less what other people think or what you think over people think bc thatâs your ego looking for some kind of approval. personally I post what I want when I want, it helps me, if it helps someone else thatâs even better but ultimately I need to keep myself sober or Iâm no help to anybody. Over the last year or so your have inspired me at times and Iâve been jealous of how well you were doing and your amazing attitude and the respect you seem to have earmt yourself from other people on here. Now your feeling a bit low that hasnât gone away you only think it has and only you can get yourself back into a position to feel that community love and bond. weâve all been there mate thinking weâre better off alone. No weâre not.
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Checking in and I feel good.
I took all my unfamiliar, steady painful feelings and instead of causing harm to myself I applied a skill I learned in DBT. Opposite action⊠it made sense to me. Opposite action is what has saved me the last 630 days from picking up dope and booze. I am doing everything opposite from what I did when I tried to stay clean before my relapse. Opposite action worked today tooâŠ
So as my knee jerk reaction wanted to be harmful actions that just donât fit me anymore, I chose a loving action and fed my body some warm yummy food.
I am done fucking suffering.
Fuck addiction, Fuck cancer and Fuck Covid
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Wow ! Thatâs really cool. Opposite action. Iâve never heard of it. Thanks for sharing and passing it on ! Iâm so glad it worked. 
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Happy Birthday my friend! Going into your 50âs sober is the best gift you can give yourself.
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Thatâs gonna be a lot of cake for you buddy.
So happy for ya.
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Youâre right. You werenât meant for this place. This place was meant for you.
My long-winded reply under an arrow to keep things neat and tidy.
Mike, look, maybe youâre pulling away because you are giving up and going back to your addiction and no one here can stop you from doing that, but maybe it is just a feeling of disconnect and I understand how that is, and itâs hard.
This place is just a tool and itâs not going to have the same use for everyone. But the difficult thing is that Talking Sober, like any other community, is made up of people. Just people. All kinds of people.
Life is not static. Everything in life changes. You are changing every day and so are the people here. Everyone has lives of their own. They have challenges that come up, they have emotional swells and dips, they become pulled this way or that by the flavor of news being put out day by day, etc.
The world is changing and so are people. Iâve noticed a general disconnect in people everywhere. Itâs very likely what youâre feeling has nothing to do with you, but with what is going on inside others. And really, we live in a world where you could innocently say something and it can offend the world view of another so that they donât want to talk to you. It could be for anything, and we as a society communicate with each other so poorly, that it just compounds the problem.
You cannot do anything about this except be who you are. And part of being who you are is really admitting to yourself what you want and need, then figuring out how to get it instead of withdrawing in pain. If there are people who you feel have pulled away, and it really matters to you, then reach out, send a PM. See if there really is an issue or if you are perceiving something that isnât really there.
And what if it is you? What if you said something or did something and then they no longer wanted to communicate with you? Does that mean youâre worthless, or some other horrible thing? No. This is something within the other person to figure out. We cannot live our lives trying to be okay in other peoplesâ eyes to maintain a good connection. A person can go crazy doing that. So if that happened, mourn that loss then try to let it go.
No one is psychic, but most of us really want others to beâjust someone please notice how much pain Iâm in and reach out! This sets us up to fail. It really does. And even when we reach out, even when we feel like weâve been SO clear, sometimes our efforts fall flat because the truth is that we do not all communicate or understand things in the same ways. There will be misunderstandings all around. And you know what? That really fucking sucks. It really does.
I donât know you, but Iâve read your posts. I cheer for your efforts, and feel sad when things donât go how youâd hoped. I donât comment much on your posts because I donât always have something to say, or I have trouble keeping up with all the posts, or even because I honestly struggle connecting with other people. Nothing at all to do with you. Could definitely be the same with others, but you simply arenât aware of whatever is happening on the other side.
And, by the way, if you ever need to talk, my message box is always open to you.
Allow the world to ebb and flow around you, Mike, because it inevitably will and you cannot stop it. Leave TS if you truly want, but I read your message and I think that isnât what you really want. I read your message and I think, âIt looks like Mike is really hurting, longing for something that has moved on, and wants it back, but doesnât know how to do that, so maybe he is hoping someone will read his post and reach out.â I could be wrong, but if Iâm not, I hope you know that you have the power to change the situation and all things change with time, even what youâre feeling right now.
I wish you the absolute best in whatever you choose, but just know that this place can make a difference for you if you choose to stay; and if you choose to stay, you can make a difference for this place.
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Happy birthday and congratulations on that year date coming up. What a great birthday gift to give yourself.
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Happy 50th birthday Paul! 
Thatâs a special one!
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- Coffee. Lots of working days ahead. Itâs OK. Itâs life. ODAAT.
Yesterday was a special day. Scattering my mumâs ashes with my sis was special. I didnât think it would move me like it did. Just ashes. But I feel it changed the dynamic of my relationship with my sis, and I feel I can think a bit different about my early years and my relationship to mum now.
So it was a good Sunday. Pic is my sis and me on our way (posted it in another thread but I think itâs worth posting again). We found a perfect spot under a Rowan tree. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@anon53116147 I think @Chiron just said it all. Use this place. I think you shouldnât leave, just take what yours and leave the rest and all that. I want you here but thatâs not what itâs about. Love to you brother.
@Dolse71 Smart move to quit the day after your birthday Paul. Have a good one.
@CATMANCAM yay you Tyler! Makes me happy.
@OneBoiledOwl 5 years! Wow! Congrats!
@icebear Huge congrats on reaching triple digits Drew!
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