Ekkkk my oh so tiny tattoo of my sobriety date is booked in tomorrow… I’ve been up in arms on this since I past a year but after the last month of events… The fact of all the curveballs that have come travelling my way… I’m clean… I’m here.
You know we all can make excuses, reasons of why we want to pick up but strength of not going against the addict is why we are all here…
To make another day even when you feel beaten don’t…
I lost my first client overdosed on drug of choice… I had to wait for a doctor to declare the death…
I don’t wish that to any addict/recovering or not.
Life is what you make of it!
I made it, I did not drink on my birthday! Crap day, at a few points I really wanted, but I did not. Today aswell, I really wanted to have some wine and just cozy up in the couch with it, after all I have been working hard lately and are off tomorrow
But I have not picked up.
Checking in, woke up with a nasty pressure headache and congestion as a cold front moved in last night. I feel like just keeping my eyes closed for now and wish my ears would just pop already. It was nice to listen to the rain and thunder though. I’m just taking it easy for the moment and grateful for cooler temps. This too shall pass.
Golden hour was more beautiful than normal last night. Really missing my boy these days. Been 5+ weeks and I’m still mourning him every.single.day. & damn do I cry at the drop of a hat now. Still feels funky feeling all these emotions-I feel like a newbie! It doesn’t get easier, it just gets farther away.
Happy birthday @Wakikki woohoo for having a sober birthday! I know the challenge as I had mine recently too and made it through sober!
I know I check in a lot but I have to to keep me on track. Made a week without seeing the ex, think that’s been harder than no drinking some days. I miss his smile and affection and cooking. He was such a good cook. Like he’s the first guy I’ve met that can actually cook. I ate better when we were together but mentally I was a mess. Anyways it is what it is. I’m going good and made more progress on processing stuff that’s coming up.
Note to self. I may have an important role for some, but I am not responsible for, or in control of, the happiness, choices and behaviour of those around me, and that includes the people I love more than anything.
Would be very interested to hear other people’s experiences or views on this - I went to my local face to face AA meeting tonight and a women turned up late and was so drunk she missed the chair and just lay on the floor, we helped her into the chair and then her husband or friend came into the room and said he was taking her home before she embarrassed herself anymore, she said she wanted to stay but the chair person told her it would be better if she left. Now I’m sorry but this has annoyed me bc if someone that drunk has managed to find her way to a meeting and can hardly walk I personally think she should have stayed. What’s the point in AA if your throwing out drunks. If it happens again I’m going to sit with her either in the meeting or outside. I also felt like telling her husband or whatever that she is not an embarrassment she is ill and in the best place she can be but he was very upset already so best I shut up, probably he was the one feeling embarrassed. Anyway 1 year 1 day and hope I can be more helpful than my home group.
I was just letting them float out there…… a bit of the devil, and a bit of the other 
I can see myself deleting this post within the hour!!
feeling much better but super lazy tonight so getting into bed to watch lots of tv till i fall asleep 
