Canāt decide if I wanna become an engineer or an army pilot. Engineer is harder to get in but takes 3 years, army is slightly easier but takes 6 years and comes with hella benefits. Any advice?
Checking in with 5 days AF 
Today I am grateful for:
- Waking up without night sweats
- Meditation
- My family (they donāt know about my struggle with alcohol and sobriety yet but they are still so loving and supportive)
Last night, I realized I needed to run to the store to pick up something I forgot. My immediate feeling was anxiety and panic and that I canāt go, it will have to wait til tomorrow. Then I remembered, oh right Iām sober and I can actually drive somewhere in the evenings now 
Sometimes we donāt realize the hold alcohol has on our lives until itās gone. Grateful for the freedom and another day sober
Army pilot comes with benefits. Thatās because it comes with some big downsides too. You sure you want to be in the army? Be involved in war? Risk your life? Kill others? Before signing up for all that and much more Iād consider the consequences of it very carefully.
50 days AF in a cuople of hours. Feel Im going on autopilot. Dont know how I really got here, this far. Feels like I got here all on spite, white knuckeling. Pressing my self everyday not putting alcohol in my mouth.
Checking in on day 700ā¦ lifeās been rough but no desire to drink.
Congrats on 700 Dan. Sorry for all the hardships. Glad youāre here. Youāre not alone.
Congrats just ahead of 50 days AF Wakiki. I admire your staying sober even though all you can do now is survive. Iāve seen you doing quite a lot of romancing alcohol lately. It might be time to try and find more internal motivation in continuing your sober journey. Staying sober is work, whether you do it by white knuckling or by working on your recovery. I know you know what the better way is and I understand youāre having a hard time finding your own personal path towards your own personal recovery. It is there though. I am sure of it.
Quit lit might be helpful. Joining a group or groups like AA, SMART, Dharma Recovery might be. Working on finding other things to do, new hobbies, new interests, life pursuits. New people to meet. New things to do. it works if you work it in a positive way. Again, I admire your grit and determination in making it this far but for your sobriety to keep growing and for yourself to keep growing something else is needed. Iām absolutely sure you can do it.
PS. I can lie on the couch at night and watch sports or a movie and feel absolutely fine and relaxed while drinking tea now. I used to think I needed a glass (or a bottle, or 2, or 3) of wine to do that. Itās lies. Honestly.
Big congratulations on your 700 days Dan. Keep hanging tough. Itās is a rough road youāre on. Iām so glad you got a lot of ODAATās in your bank.
You keep showing us all how itās done. In good and with the not so good.
Congrats on 700 my friend. You are really going through some shit, sending lots of love your way.
Thinking of you and your fam, Dan. You are an awesome contributor to this forum. Appreciate you.
Coming up on 90 and I keep thinkingā¦wow, Iāve come so far. Whatās after 90? Same thing as beforeā¦ODAAT. That is just how it works. I cannot believe the lies I have told myself for years about drinking. Do I miss those days? Absolutely not. Do I still want to drink? Hell no. Then why do I still think about it occasionally? It was such a big part of my life. Anytime you change a big part of your life youāre gonna think about it, I guess. I am hitting the gym hard, feeling younger, got more energy and vow to never go back to drinking. You see. I got too much to lose. It never did anything for meā¦but cause problems and make me broke. It is a new chapter for me and I am excited. I feel alive, I feel things, I have more clarity, ambition and money. I did this one day at a time and it will always be 1 day at a time for me. 90 days will be just another day for meā¦3 days from today.
Day 934. This is Boomer, I call him Boomerang. Iāve come to a realization. Since Leoās passing I didnāt think Iād be able to continue my dog sitting business but itās actually been really therapeutic for me. Dogs are such sensual creatures-their presence in and of itself just makes any house feel more like a home. Itās helped me begin my healing process and has helped me understand that I can get another dog-I will never forget Leo, everā¦I will get another pup to help his legacy live on. 
itās been six weeks and I am still struggling but Iām entering the next phase of my grief. I am not sleeping any better but am trying to focus on the mindset pillar and making sure my mental health is safe.
Checking in. Not much to say still sober
Checking in. Day 19
Day 428 check inā¦.
8 am AA meeting is the place to be! Oh man. It was all seniors and OMG were they funny, they had me laughing so much and I loved how everyone just talked about other issues besides drinking. One woman had her last round of radiation and that put things into perspective. The topic was being in a bad mood for no reason! Haha, so It was definitely up my alley. So I will definitely be back.
My friend informed me yesterday that she is going to be moving out. Yowzers. That was short lived. She is really struggling with the sobriety and needs to be with her family. I wish I could have been the one to help her! I am bummed. My whole idea of her moving here was sooo different than what came to be of it. But idk why I am also relieved that she is leaving.
You know what they say Happiness= Life - Expectations.
Anyway, I am climbing out of my funk. Might take my daughter to a Rodeo tonight! Weāll see!
Have a great day everyone!
@Dan531 Congrats to you and your 700 days!! 
Still alive. Caved on the smoking last night though. But still AF (26 days) which Iām happy about. Regretful for getting high. Used it to cover up the pain coz I was over feeling it. Woke up with the same pain from yesterday, so I guess I either work through it today or cover it up again. Aiming to stay sober today.
Hope everyone has a great day 
Thank you!
your doing great mate 
Checking in, had a nice day today and Iām stone cold sober 7 days now