Checking in on day 89. Always a little nervous when approaching milestone days.
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Wow Chris that is hard news. I am extra sorry it happened around your birthday, on your vacation and when you were probably already feeling some āmilestone angstā. I am really glad you are here getting it off your chest.
ā¦ is what I was taught to do. So far itās worked for me, reel it back in tight and stick to the basics. Congrats on your 695 days.
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Woooohoooooo
Congrats on 18 months!!!
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Checking in:
650 freaking days without my booze. 
62 days no sugar.
Hard emotional day for me dropping off all the pets for the first time at a boarding kennel. I just felt so horrible and anxious all morning. And it was so hard rounding up the 4 cats and 2 dogs to dump them off. It would have been easy and normal to make a pitcher of martinis after such a hard thing to have to do. But I came home and put on a nice guided meditation from my Breethe app. That was my plan all along. And now I feel so much better. Rested, checking in here and ready to pack for my trip to Dallas tomorrow. But the big house is so quiet and I got no one. The people at the kennel are really nice. They are professionals and work with my vet. And they are in the business of taking care of pets. I do feel better now that the drop off is over with and we can start our visit to see our son for the first time since Rona showed up and fucked us all over. It may sound silly but those dang cats and dogs are the loves of my life. We havenāt gone anywhere without pets since we lived in Durango and we had a live in house pet sitter for that.
I looking forward to seeing my son and his wife. I donāt think heās actually seen me sober. Nope. Last time I saw him live and in person was thanksgiving 2019. How fucking cool is that?! Second plane travel sober coming up! Iām good. And first time in Texas sober. I drank all 36 years living in Texas. These are the milestones Iāve been training for with all you guys. Thanks for all the support.
Keep fighting the good fight.
We are worth it.
Donāt think about what might go wrong, think about what could go RIGHT.
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I figured as much Mike. I knew that wasnāt the real you. I forgive ya. Youāre always welcome here IMO
Fuck addiction.
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Congratulations on you year and a half Claire.
Thatās awesome!!
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Way to go, Claire!! Congratulations on 18 months!!
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thank you all 
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Checking in Day 73
It was a good day. Really nice weather and I managed to accomplish a lot without feeling crazy. Iām trying a new way to approach and keep track of my tasks this week and so far so good. I have multiple jobs and endeavors going on at once so Iām trying to make it more manageable.
Fun things todayā I subbed an outdoor yoga class and it was such nice weather. I loved it. Then I went from that to hosting a virtual event where I teach about history. Two very different classes, haha, both went well. The event was a success and a high turnout which was great.
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I can understand how hard it would be for you to put your babies in a kennel! I literally rented a house so I could accommodate my cat while we had work done on our house. 
I know you definitely would not have put them in a kennel if there had been any other choice.
I hope your trip goes well and great work with 650 days! Kicking ass and taking names!
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What they say is itās a lot harder on the petās peeps than it is on them! Have safe travel and a wonderful family reunion.
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Congratulations!
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So something, truly amazing happened this week. Well yesterday.
I got to speak to my kids, we FaceTime quite a bit over the last 2 days, itās been a year since I got to hear from them, it was an emotional roller coaster, but bittersweet
Their mom, apparently had pulled the stick out of her ass and is being kinda cool, Iām still very guarded tho, I donāt trust her.
Apparently my most recent ex the one I was living with before rehab went off the deep end and is refusing to return my items, a lot of important shit, she was contacting my kids and their mom trying to figure out where Iām at and all, but then said oh I donāt have anything I gave it all to the neighbors, fortunately I have a lawyer in my back pocket, whoās doing some leg work for me, he told me to get a complete inventory, and give it to him, he will be casual at first requesting a mediation to resolve the issue, I personally want to see her look at her or talk to her, so a middle ground was selected, however If she refuses to comply he wants to take it to court requesting the items or full value of the items, which will reach about 10k off the top of my head, so letās hope she just backs down and gives up, I walked away I moved on, this is the one bit of control she has and she wants to keep that little bit she has because she is powerless, she knows I donāt want the relationship, I donāt want contact, I donāt want any of it, the way she did me dirty in rehab Iāll forgive but never be at that level with her again,
Anyways, a funny less serious note, their grandmother on their moms side wanted to talk to me, so I said sure. I figured itās either good or bad, if she agitates me Iāll hang up, we talked quite a bit she said sheās so happy I got sober, how much bette r I look, and that she feels like sheās experiencing flashbacks when my oldest son walks into her house cause he looks like I did at 16 sheās like heās got the long ass hair, wears the same clothes, same music itās you in and out,
Iād never thought I would reach this point, but I did, and damn
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Oh Iām over the moon 
Twice over And ran out of words! 
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Checking in day 17,5
I am doing well and feeling alive.
Today I am not going to drink today I will be sober.
Have a nice day my friends!
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696 Days: Going to bed sober so thatās a win. In a weird mental space, almost numb. One of the more important lessons Iāve learned with this last run of sobriety is the ability to sit through my emotions, give my emotions the space and time to run their course without over reacting. Itās ok to be down, give things time to process. The old me would drown my emotions, acted irresponsible and ended up just causing more pain. For now Iām just letting the numbness be.
Getting a ton of projects around my house done so thatās good. My kids have been incredible, love having them around. They will be at my house all weekend so that will definitely help.
Going to try and keep checking in here for the next little while. The accountability definitely helps.
Much Love!
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- Coffee. Meeting my bestie for coffee. Not sure sheās my bestie anymore. Will be the second time in two months we speak. Maybe itās better to say meeting my friend. Maybe thatās better anyway. Not putting too much pressure on her, on myself, on meeting, on our friendship. Will see. Therapy later.
Iām sober and clean and thatās a very good thing in my life. If you all are too thatās a great beginning to a good day friends. I hope youāll have one. Clean and sober love from Amsterdam.
@claire-lo Huge congrats on 18 months Claire!
@anon53116147 You concentrate on yourself. Work it friend.
@Dazercat Safe travels Eric!
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Thank you
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