Checking in daily to maintain focus #34

Awesome @Butterflymoonwoman! :vulcan_salute: Good to have you here sister, letā€™s do this together then one day at a time! :hugs:

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Yes! We can do to this! Glad to see you here :slight_smile: hugs!

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Iā€™ve been feeling really isolated and lonely of late. I miss going out with my friends. All of my friends drink and go out. Itā€™s hard not having them to spend time with. I stopped drinking when my relationship ended so it feels like I lost my boyfriend, alcohol, and my social life all at once. I can still go and hang out but itā€™s really hard ( and triggering) to be at a bar and not drink. I feel very left out. I know I need to make new, sober friends. But I love my friends. It feels like with the exception of yoga classes and walks everything social centers around drinking. Iā€™m hoping this feeling of loneliness and isolation fades.
Bright side is I am 24 days sober :heart:

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Iā€™m not sure where you are, but have you considered joining any clubs, groups, events, organizations etc where you can potentially find people like yourself? Maybe a hiking/cycling club, yoga/meditation group, anything reallyā€¦ And compose a list of all the things you could do with friends which doesnā€™t revolve around drinking, and try to steer where yous go? Stay strong and keep you head up ey, youā€™ll find a way girl :pray: There are SO many people like you out there waiting to be found by you! :wink:

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Thank you @Mno :fearful:

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:wink: :heart::hugs: To you

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Checking in, 349 days no alcohol, 99 days no smoke. I was at bone density check for my treatment. It was the earliest date I could get, but results will be only in three weeks. So it seems that I have to cancel my appointment with my doctor on the 1st of November and ask for a new one which usually takes 3 months, because there is a long waiting list. So probably I can start treatment only at the end of January. Iā€™m not sure when, Iā€™m still waiting for my doctorā€™s response.
Iā€™m so sick of waiting, sick of every day that I live through just to have yet another similar day, being trapped in the same pit without any chance to get out, without any change. I hate to hide and cover myself all the time, suffocating while trying to look as someone that no one sees, that no one believes in. I hate to be constantly ashamed of myself. I cannot stand the idea of doing that for even more months.

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There are definitely volleyball leagues and lots of sport groups. A lot of them still revolve so much around drinking. At least the really popular ones. I can probably do some research and find others. Maybe I just have to try a lot to find a fun one that isnā€™t focused so much on alcohol. Even my yoga studio has done events with craft breweries. I live in a really beautiful, fun city. So Iā€™m sure I just have to get out of my comfort zone and try a lot of different things. I know you are right about there being people like me, itā€™s a good reminder. Thank you for making me smile :blush:

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Day 11. Physically, I feel like crap today. Mentally, I feel strong. I am really throwing everything at this thing. I wish I could be paid to study sobriety and pursue sobriety. My new business is definitely suffering. I am not actively engaging in the marketing of my either of my businesses. I am spending wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on here and in other programs. Or am I? I can probably do 3X the marketing at 3X the effectiveness, when I have mental clarity and strength. So, though the bills must get paid, I am giving myself a few more days of full-time recovery. The bills and the businesses arenā€™t going anywhere.

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I completely understand how youā€™re feeling. Our society is obsessed with alcohol, and itā€™s really hard to get away from it. I looked into doing a pottery class, but itā€™s a ā€œvino and potteryā€ event. Iā€™ve been isolating as well, and itā€™s getting to the point of not being healthy.

Are you interested in photography at all? When I was involved in my photography work online, there were several workshops available at any given season across the country. Those are fun and even though most groups get together for drinks afterwards, you could bow out of that. The fellowship during the workshops is great.

Hang in there, darlinā€™. Weā€™re gonna be alright. :blush::purple_heart:

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Checking in at the end of day 291.
Had some friends over for dinner this evening. Finally gave away the last of the beers that I had in the house. I passed 20 or so to my friend who lives downstairs last week and just saved a few because I knew that a friend who drinks was coming over this week. I liked having them in, in case drinking friends came over, but Iā€™m happy to be rid of them. They werenā€™t a temptation after the first few months. They were all out of date, too. :joy:
Donā€™t know why Iā€™m telling you this. It just feels relevant, somehow.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. :zzz::sleeping:

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I didnā€™t fully realize HOW obsessed our society was with alcohol until I stopped drinking. Probably because it made my drinking feel more normal. My Sunday sunrise yoga class has a mimosa happy hour after now. So my friends stay and I walk home alone. Working out really is like the only time I get to see my friends since Iā€™ve been sober and even that is triggering. I miss everyone so much and feel left out but I donā€™t want to put myself in a situation where I drink. I know the holidays and all the parties will make it even harder. So Iā€™m trying to cope and accept it now. Even Rue is sick of me haha, but at least she has no interest in drinking!

I love making ceramics and pottery- Iā€™ve thought about getting a kiln but then I would still be alone and they are so expensive.

I do like photography! Anything artistic :upside_down_face: I really got into it when I was living in Colorado and started hiking. I will look into photography classes, I really like that idea. Thank you :heart:

Iā€™m sorry you are feeling isolated too. For some reason I think this time of year is hard. Iā€™m happy we have a place to reach out and feel less alone and isolated. Iā€™ve been thinking about you and your son. Sending big hugs and love :yellow_heart: You are right we are going to be okay

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Iā€™m sorry you feel lonely Pdebs, but smiling at strangers is a beautiful practice. You never know what someone is going through and might just change a life (canā€™t remeber who said that).
I can also relate to your feelings changing with the season, itā€™s strange, somehow the body remebers. I always am super anxious during the fall, because I had my bad traffic accident during a rainy fally night.
I have developed some traditions to remeber my loved ones on the anniversary of their passing (my grandma would always light a candel on the day her mother died and I do the same for her). Maybe you can think of something to do in honour of your friend? :slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank you @Penguin, you are so kind! I am so glad you survived your accident. Yeah, itā€™s a strange phenomenon how certain things can trigger us. I think I will take your advice and do something special on Saturday to remember her. Thank you for that. :slight_smile:

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@Soundlab sending strength :blue_heart: I use an S.A.D lamp and find it helpful in the darker months.
@EarnIt congrats on double digits :tada:
@zzz congrats on 3 weeks :tada: I hope you get the money you are owed asap! :pray:t2: good luck with the job search :four_leaf_clover:
@MagicILY congrats on 80 days :tada:
@Dazercat sorry youā€™re struggling, sending strength :blue_heart: glad you got that out, the meme thread is really helping me lately, donā€™t know what Iā€™ll do when Iā€™ve caught up! Thanks for all of your contributions :smiley:
@Dmcg1987 congrats on your month :tada:
@Nadir_Kadi welcome :slightly_smiling_face: congrats on 9 days :tada:
@anon53116147 congrats on your week :tada:
@RosaCanDo thatā€™s amazing about the no migraines :raised_hands:t2: sending healing vibes for Susie :pray:t2:
@ShesGotMoxie congrats on 70 days :tada:

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@Clarity sending strength :blue_heart: these anniversaries are hard, Iā€™m sure she would be so proud of you :blue_heart:
@1in8billion @Butterflymoonwoman welcome back both :slightly_smiling_face:
@Complicatedmama good luck with your presentation :four_leaf_clover:
@Tomek I really hope you can get an appointment to coincide with the test results so youā€™re not waiting any longer than necessary :pray:t2: sending strength, I see you :blue_heart:
@Singtone glad you were able to let them go :tada:

437 days no alcohol.
405 days no cocaine.
5 days no binge-eating.

Today Iā€™ve done two loads of laundry so Iā€™m pleased about that. My back, feet, and tooth, are hurting bad today so Iā€™ve spent the day in bed on the meme thread. Havenā€™t taken any pain meds, I try to only use them for bad migraines so they remain somewhat effective. I still havenā€™t made a call to the private hospital about the treatment for my feet, I just keep hoping I will hear from them but I really think they didnā€™t process my referral. :pensive: Thereā€™s a quote I often remember, something about pain reminding us weā€™re alive, so thereā€™s that! :partying_face::raised_hands:t2:

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(((Tomek))) My heart is wrenching for you. I was actually thinking about you and logged on here and saw this.( Thinking about you bc hadnā€™t seen you ) Want you to know I believe in you. I see you. I am here for you in whatever way. However I can help I will. I am sorry for the disappointments and the wait getting extended again. Frustrating and bitterly disappointing. Lots of love to you as you go through these days/months. I am glad you are sharing. It is the only way. Sending you strength.

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Proud of myself right now. I just finished a 30 min workout and then thoughtā€¦ what the heck, might as well do some cleaning and getting rid of all the things that remind me of my past drug use. I got rid of ā€œstuffā€ and some emotions or something came up. Not sure what exactly. But not today Satan!! Lol feeling good right now. Itā€™s almost noon here. My intermittent fasting will be done by then. So going to eat a healthy lunch and then go from there :slight_smile:

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Hi guys.
658 AF
70 no extra added sugar.
Iā€™m I grateful I let the TS magic help me with my poor me little pity party last night. I slept like a baby. @Sunflower1 i went with a nicer calmer playlist on my walk this morning. I didnā€™t want to get all worked up. Again :scream:
This place works. If you work it.
Stick around @Butterflymoonwoman your worth it. Love the new avatar.
I actually realized this morning I was taking my frustrations out on my wife. Many of the things yesterday happened that were out of my control and out of her control too. Most of the shit went in her favor so to speak and not what I wanted. So I didnā€™t get my way. With many things and she has to come home and open the wine. I get to come home and be sober being angry frustrated sad feeling not loved and knowing those feeling can change without getting all liquored up. I guess some days we have to work at it harder. Or just wait til it passes and catch the next good wave Fleur.
Thanks for the hug Patty. Iā€™ve learned to appreciate a good hug. And @Laraellelarissa Snoopy (name after Charles Schultzā€™s dog Spike ) always cheers my up. Perfect. Thanks @RosaCanDo I know you get it. I always have to remember itā€™s about my sobriety not her drinking. Just got to keep remembering that.
Carolyn @ShesGotMoxie you been quite an asset to this place and my recovery. Itā€™s great to have new invigorating blood pumped into our recovery. Congratulations on your 70 days. Youā€™re amazing. And @CATMANCAM and other long timers itā€™s great youā€™re always here for everyone of us it means a lot :heart:
@Mno me be an asshole? I can do that? Yikes! Not on purpose anyway. I do not want to be a sloppy asshole Flo. @Misokatsu
We need you here too JĆ©ne @EarnIt work that gratitude with the gratidudes and protect that new sober date at all costs. I got your fucking back. Iā€™m not going anywhere. And I am blessed and grateful every day Iā€™m sober @Alisa
I know I didnā€™t have to tag everyone in but l wanted to.
In closing: Iā€™m staying sober because I feel like I might not have another recovery in me.
One lousy Day
Or Day one
I get to decide.

So ya, Iā€™m not drinking today. And neither should you!!
Fooled yezs huh :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
:pray:t2::heart:

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Ur such an amazing person and I love that you are so self aware. I used to get almost resentful at people who could drink/use and numb out the shitty feelings, while I couldnā€™t bcuz I am a recovering addict. I know that resentment is definitely one of the top reasons for relapse. But looking at the bigger pictureā€¦ I am grateful (as I know you are too) for the ability to have a clear mind and to be able to work through things without numbing which would in turn pile up into more worse scenarios. 1 day at time is all we have and as long as we dont pick up, things will get better. Huge hugs to u my friend

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