Fell off the wagon again yesterday. The drinks were not even very good. I find that when the day takes an unexpected turn, I am more susceptible to shitcanning my goals. This journey is harder than I expected, and I am more of an alcholic than I anticipated. 8 am frustrated with myself.
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Happy Thursday! Almost said Monday haha. So busy I forget what day of the week it is. Hope you all have an awesome day!!
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One thing that really got to me over time was when I was relapse, and the experience wasnât even worth it. I hated it, and yet it was good in that my brain slowly began to recognize that maybe it really wonât be worth it the next time.
Donât focus on the fall but on how you get back up and keep walking. If you learn something from it, then itâs not all for nothing. Hang in there.
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Congratulations !! 
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Studying/working is hard when you still live with your parents, my concentration is constantly being broken 
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Nice !!! 
đź
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The beginning isnât easy. Maybe next time when you feel the urge to drink come here first instead. We might be able to talk you out of it.
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Good work vriend. Congrats and keep going.
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When the kids were little and before I started drinking, I remember being optimistic and enthusiastic, because they brought that out in me. âYou want a sleepover with 8 of your closest girlfriends? All weekend long? Sure!!!â âYou want me to drive you and a couple friends to a 311 concert two hours away? And you need me to pay for all the tickets and food? Yes! Yâall are gonna have so much fun!!!â Life was kinda like that, and the enthusiasm was real. Since I stopped drinking, Iâve sadly been faking it for the most part. I just havenât been my normal giddy-up self. Iâve still been dealing with the detachment and emptiness. I try to think of it as a deep calm, but some days I canât even bring myself to believe that. Itâs emptiness.
Day 75 and I feel like I might be getting back some of the enthusiasm I lost when I quit drinking. Itâs coming in small doses, but Iâll take it. I know itâs due to the connection I have here. Left to my own devices, Iâm not sure if I would drink again, but I would definitely be very withdrawn. I appreciate yâall helping me to come out of my shell. I still find comfort there, but not as much as I used to. Iâm so thankful for yâall. 
âEnthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.â
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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You have to find the new you. A new balance. Youâve thrown away your crutches and now youâre learning to walk again unaided. I am absolutely sure that when you put in the work (which you are) youâll end up much happier and more joyful as you were when you drank. And you are well on your way Carolyn. Big hugs.
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Thanks Menno. You mean a lot to me. Hugs right back at ya. 
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Checking in, 354 days no alcohol, 104 days no smoke. Iâm past the tooth surgery. It was scary, but it wasnât that bad as I expected to be. Now it hurts, but not as bad as the wisdom tooth extraction in spring, I havenât even taken any pills yet. Also I was called mister (âpanâ) for the first time (despite them knowing my full name) and that just made my day.
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Thanks for the message vriend. And I love the GiF 
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Found out i have been offered a position for a new role today!
Really happy. Going out for a meal to celebrate.
Here come the thoughtâs. âSurely I deserve a couple of drink today of all days???â
To that voice in my head I say âfuck off Iâm not falling for that shit!â
I would not be in the place I am career wise if I hadnât been dry for the last three years (I slipped 21days ago). But sure of course that voice will tell me I should celebrate with that shit.
Anyway. Wanted to write my thoughts on this before I go out. Much love all.
God bless 
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Iâve been thinking about emptiness and enthusiasm so much these days. I remember when I was little I had such a zeal for life and people. How my mom had to buy a space heater to put in the garage in the winter because I spent all my time out there doing art projects. I didnât realize how much of that creativity and enthusiasm for life I had lost since starting drinking. My sobriety has had me reevaluating what I do for a living, how I spend my free time, and rediscovering what I love. Admittedly I have felt kind of detached and unenthusiastic about life but I think itâs because of my drinking- and getting out of touch with me. Maybe this is an in between period where we slowly get back our fire. Whatever that is to all of us. Iâm so happy you are here and thankful for you 
Happy day 75 
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Checking in! Today is our Halloween party @ where I live at. I went as a witch 
there is food (pig in a blanket, mac n cheese, punch, and sweets) they are playing Hocus Pocus, pumpkin carving and painting so it is a good day so far. Just wanted to stop by and show you guys you can have sober fun. This is a sober party I am at. Oh btw, thatâs my kitty Birdie.
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Day 83 having a very lazy day which I feel my new sponsor will have something to say about when I call, kinda goes against the 'have a routine âmake your bedâ thing we learn in rehab⌠may have to change my ways⌠lol
Thatâs my check in, wishing all of you a clean and sober 24 hrs!
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@Rockstar24777 âŚCONGRATS!! HUGE Congrats! You have earned every single one of those 500 days.
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