I love road trips. Especially in Colorado. Some of my favorite memories are driving up to little mountain downs or hiking trails. Have fun with your hubs.
Big congrats on your 60 days, Ryan!!! Great work!
P.S. Your āgrumpyā beard needs it own social media page! It looks awesome!
My ex wife just dropped our daughter. The thing is, when you got a kid, you canāt get away from your ex. And when youāre stupid enough to still love your ex, itāsā¦ tricky to say the least. Gonna try to keep it strong, breath a lot and put something else, well, anything else in my mind. Oh boy what a mess
Thatās a tough spot to be in Hope ur able to distract enough so that you have a good day
Day 0 on my PMO addiction.
Iām feeling down but Iām doing this. I want to reach one year.
Iām so freaking tired of this addiction taking over my life.
We went to the Autumn craft fair and I ate a bunch of gluten and spicy dips.
So, physically I feel like shit (and later I should have a good olā psoriasis flare-up) but mentally much better. I like hanging out with my kiddo and the kid likes hanging out with me. Thatās pretty special at 17 years old.
Checking in and keeping sober. Going to be a sober weekend off work. Hope you all are having a great friday!
Blast from the pastā¦my friends were obsessed! Probably contributed to some hearing loss
Congratulations Big Ed
Great number!
Great catch!
Congratulations on your 60 days Ryan Great work!
ODAAT.
Itās Milestone Madness around here.
Way got Livy
Checking inā¦
Feeling really good so far today. Got alot accomplished today cleaning wise. Opened up with a friend of mine who I used to work with when I moved to provinces. We both knew that each of us were a recovering addict, but never got into too much detail of our pasts. Today we opened up with each other. Not even sure actually how we got on the subject. She mentioned how alone she felt and even tho sheās clean she has some things to work thru. I was actually able to help with some resources and what not for her. Online meeting app etc. She was really appreciative. Made me feel like even tho I have a day clean, I can still be useful to others on the same path. I have alot of good ideas and knowledge that Iāve learned over 20 years but it would really help if I took my own advice lol. Day 1 for me is looking up
@Lisa07 wow how beautiful that you caught this by happy accident Congrats on all the 7s
@Callie99 sending strength
@Hopeful777 I really hope the anxiety does settle with more time in the job enjoy your campout this weekend
@Chance wow! Congrats on 13,600 days
@Edmund congrats on 1500 days
@SoberWalker Iām so sorry about that customer, glad you were able to get him out safely. I hope youāre okay now
@Lotusflower happy birthday to your son congrats on the custody stuff
@Olivia congrats on 400 days
@Grumpybeard congrats on 60 days
@Mattj0813 welcome congrats on day 1
452 days no alcohol.
420 days no cocaine.
13 days no nicotine.
In stark contrast to the previous night, I only slept one hour last night, from 8-9pm. It didnāt surprise me after so much sleep the night before plus the anxiety of doing the interview today, I often canāt sleep the night before appointments and such, it doesnāt take much to trigger my insomnia.
I walked to the supermarket at 3:15am, only to realise that they donāt open til 6am. So I just layed down and listened to a few chapters of the new Dave Grohl audiobook, Iām enjoying it. Then at 7am I went to the other shop and bought crisps and coca-cola, half to have before my interview to help psych me up, and half to have as a reward for doing the interview. Then I showered and got into my suit.
The interview itself was an awful experience. I really donāt have any ability to think on the spot, at all. I feel like I performed awfully, and ever since it ended I have been having the most intense waves of CRIIIIIINGE and shame, they feel awful, so Iāve been looking at memes to brighten my mood, it has helped. Iām now on the most recent meme thread! The worst part is, with the deadline not being until 23:59 on the 8th, the earliest I will hear something is the 9th, so these waves are going to keep coming until Iāve had the outcome and can move forward either way. I hate the not knowing part, it doesnāt mix well with my ever present anxiety.
Feeling super anxious because tomorrow it will be 2 weeks on 0mg nicotine, but I will run out of my 0mg liquid and the intention is to put the vape down completely. I do feel ready I just really donāt know how hard itās going to be, and Iām a little apprehensive incase I get any cravings for cocaine like I did before. Hopefully not and it will all be fine
I plan to restart my diet properly tomorrow, and Iām going to re-read one of my books about over-coming binge-eating and bulimia nervosa. Books do seem to really motivate me and get me in the right headspace, itās the ongoing motivation that I struggle with so once Iām back in the swing of things with the diet, I just need to remember no ājust onesā.
@CATMANCAM I really wanted to take the time to recognize how important you make everyone here feel. I know how much time, care, and effort it takes to personally reply to so many people everyday. I know that sometimes itās hard and can feel like a chore as well, so thank you for your contribution. I know itās appreciated by many
I always enjoy reading your posts. They are very inspiring and motivating. To see your recovery days and ur motivation to change and grow and learn new things is inspiring. It sounds like u have some positive things going on like restarting ur diet and cutting out vaping. Hope that all goes well and I hope ur interview didnāt go as awful as u think it did.
Iāve been lurking mostly lately, but wanted to say itās been nice to see you posting
Awe thank you that means alot! It feels good. And it feels good to also see people like you who are still around how are you doing?
Awwwwhhh Iām good. I was just really busy for a while studying for a designation, and thatās finally over. It was a lot, and Iām glad itās behind me. Now Iām playing catch-up and can start spending some more time here soon. Iāve still been on, but just more so as a creeper lol. Sober a bunch of days (400 something I think), and have my ED under control for around 146ish days? That one is a miracle!!!
You seem light this time, I sense success for you I can actually feel it, Iām so glad that you are tenacious, because you really deserve this!!
Day 93 here slept in way too late (2pm) but it felt really good! Right into therapy session with psychologist and then met with my sponsor to discuss my essays on Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingnessā¦3 essential spiritual principles.
Gearing up to have my 3 younger boys for the weekend, they are 13, 11, and 8. I have been 'sick for 5 years of their childhoods and continually put drugs before them. No more!