Congratulations Big Ed 
Great number!
Great catch!
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Congratulations on your 60 days Ryan 
Great work!
ODAAT.
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Itās Milestone Madness around here.
Way got Livy
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Checking inā¦
Feeling really good so far today. Got alot accomplished today cleaning wise. Opened up with a friend of mine who I used to work with when I moved to provinces. We both knew that each of us were a recovering addict, but never got into too much detail of our pasts. Today we opened up with each other. Not even sure actually how we got on the subject. She mentioned how alone she felt and even tho sheās clean she has some things to work thru. I was actually able to help with some resources and what not for her. Online meeting app etc. She was really appreciative. Made me feel like even tho I have a day clean, I can still be useful to others on the same path. I have alot of good ideas 
and knowledge that Iāve learned over 20 years but it would really help if I took my own advice lol. Day 1 for me is looking up 
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@Lisa07 wow how beautiful that you caught this by happy accident 
Congrats on all the 7s 
@Callie99 sending strength 
@Hopeful777 I really hope the anxiety does settle with more time in the job enjoy your campout this weekend 
@Chance wow! Congrats on 13,600 days
@Edmund congrats on 1500 days
@SoberWalker Iām so sorry about that customer, glad you were able to get him out safely. I hope youāre okay now
@Lotusflower happy birthday to your son 
congrats on the custody stuff
@Olivia congrats on 400 days
@Grumpybeard congrats on 60 days
@Mattj0813 welcome 
congrats on day 1
452 days no alcohol.
420 days no cocaine.
13 days no nicotine.
In stark contrast to the previous night, I only slept one hour last night, from 8-9pm. It didnāt surprise me after so much sleep the night before plus the anxiety of doing the interview today, I often canāt sleep the night before appointments and such, it doesnāt take much to trigger my insomnia.
I walked to the supermarket at 3:15am, only to realise that they donāt open til 6am. 
So I just layed down and listened to a few chapters of the new Dave Grohl audiobook, Iām enjoying it. Then at 7am I went to the other shop and bought crisps and coca-cola, half to have before my interview to help psych me up, and half to have as a reward for doing the interview. Then I showered and got into my suit.
The interview itself was an awful experience. I really donāt have any ability to think on the spot, at all. I feel like I performed awfully, and ever since it ended I have been having the most intense waves of CRIIIIIINGE and shame, they feel awful, so Iāve been looking at memes to brighten my mood, it has helped. Iām now on the most recent meme thread! The worst part is, with the deadline not being until 23:59 on the 8th, the earliest I will hear something is the 9th, so these waves are going to keep coming until Iāve had the outcome and can move forward either way. I hate the not knowing part, it doesnāt mix well with my ever present anxiety.
Feeling super anxious because tomorrow it will be 2 weeks on 0mg nicotine, but I will run out of my 0mg liquid and the intention is to put the vape down completely. I do feel ready I just really donāt know how hard itās going to be, and Iām a little apprehensive incase I get any cravings for cocaine like I did before. Hopefully not and it will all be fine 
I plan to restart my diet properly tomorrow, and Iām going to re-read one of my books about over-coming binge-eating and bulimia nervosa. Books do seem to really motivate me and get me in the right headspace, itās the ongoing motivation that I struggle with so once Iām back in the swing of things with the diet, I just need to remember no ājust onesā.
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@CATMANCAM I really wanted to take the time to recognize how important you make everyone here feel. I know how much time, care, and effort it takes to personally reply to so many people everyday. I know that sometimes itās hard and can feel like a chore as well, so thank you for your contribution. I know itās appreciated by many
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I always enjoy reading your posts. They are very inspiring and motivating. To see your recovery days and ur motivation to change and grow and learn new things is inspiring. It sounds like u have some positive things going on like restarting ur diet and cutting out vaping. Hope that all goes well and I hope ur interview didnāt go as awful as u think it did.
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Iāve been lurking mostly lately, but wanted to say itās been nice to see you posting
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Awe thank you that means alot! It feels good. And it feels good to also see people like you who are still around how are you doing?
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Awwwwhhh Iām good. I was just really busy for a while studying for a designation, and thatās finally over. It was a lot, and Iām glad itās behind me. Now Iām playing catch-up and can start spending some more time here soon. Iāve still been on, but just more so as a creeper lol. Sober a bunch of days (400 something I think), and have my ED under control for around 146ish days? That one is a miracle!!!
You seem light this time, I sense success for you 
I can actually feel it, Iām so glad that you are tenacious, because you really deserve this!!
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Day 93 here slept in way too late (2pm) but it felt really good! Right into therapy session with psychologist and then met with my sponsor to discuss my essays on Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingnessā¦3 essential spiritual principles.
Gearing up to have my 3 younger boys for the weekend, they are 13, 11, and 8. I have been 'sick for 5 years of their childhoods and continually put drugs before them. No more!
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Congratulations to each and everyone on here for still going strong 
My sobriety baby is growing and growing, instead of an āattemptā itās a ādecisionā - which feels so much better 
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Day 497. Probably gotta talk to my boss. I was really productive today, just not about work. Pfft
Today was a nice day with date. Talked, watched the Office, got kisses, went to have dinner, catched a movie in the theathers. He was nothing but respectful, cute, funny, nice, giving me warmth. Still Im so afraid that every time he walks out the door he is like ānope I dont like her shes stupid ugly fat nothing I wantā. It is all in my hear, 100 percent. And gives me an impulse to message him and break it off before he can. Ugh. Fear of abandonment much 
Why cant I let myself just enjoy what I have and let myself be happy? Gotta get in my own head and in my own way. Stop it Jenā¦
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Hey @anon53116147 ā¦how you feeling todayā¦ Glad youāre still here, lots of love, keep safe. I been looking for pics of your latest tattoos ,?, 
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Evening check in. Coming up on Day 2 in about 5 hours. Feeling good but exhausted. Recovery is draining but itās a good sort of exhaustion I guess lol. Got all my cleaning done and even some other odd tasks. Now waiting for hubby to get home. Heās working a very long day. Their concrete pour wasnāt until 2pm and they had alot to pour today. So itās me by myself. Iām feeling squirrly and abit restless. Just trying to keep occupied. I work on the weekend. My self care routine isnāt not how I like it to be when I go to work. I usually like to start my day with a few things and I canāt do that since Iām at work by 8am. Sort of throws me off. Need to figure out an āon the goā type of routine for the weekends I guess. Cuz my self care routine is what helps me to stay clean and on the right track emotionally
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Interesting. I wasnāt defiant as a kid at all. I was very passive, kept my head down, and just saw to my mumās needs not my own.
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different spokes for different folks 
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But u went out and did the interview, be proud of that. Facing what u fear, doing something new, these are important to do for the act of doing them, not the outcome, whatever that might be.
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Well done and thanks for being you 
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Hey guys checking in on a beautiful fall day
I hope you are well. I donāt have too much going on right now. My outpatient part of Treatment will end on Thursday so I need to find something to fill my days until school starts. As Iām typing this I just got a txt from a friend with some service for us to do tomorrow thatās cool 
. I havenāt been doing a good job posting lately just feel run down I think Iāll take another day off from the gym today.
But I am happy to sayā¦
80 days no alcohol
43 days no cigarettes
God bless you
Love prayers and positive thoughts
Correction 79 AF 42 CF*
I woke up and thought I slept through the night wowā¦ I told you I was feeling run down 
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