Thanks man
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It helps me to lend a hand to someone else when I get in my head. Maybe your mom needs some help?
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Still sober. 675 days.
Iām glad I donāt need the margarita cart button. 
But For Fucks Sakes!!! Iām surprised they donāt have a bottle of cognac on my pillow for turn down.
You just canāt get away from the booze. Itās out there always. We just got to deal with it.
Iām enjoying my first real vacation sober without booze and margarita cart hot lines.
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Hey there - hope you donāt mind me commenting on what youāve said. It sounds like youāre beating yourself up and not loving yourself. I do the same and no one can be as brutal to me as me, but I remind myself that Iām not a good judge of character when I feel like that so not to listen to the internal beatings. You said youāre a boring dad too, and although I donāt know you I canāt imagine that being the reality. Maybe thatās how you feel about yourself but not the way your daughters feel about their dad. If thereās no evidence to suggest youāre a boring dad, you can blow that thought away. You clearly care and think a lot and that will translate to them.
Hope youāre ok.
P.S - please donāt think Iām discrediting how you think she feel. Iām defo not doing that and how you feel is so valid. Just wanted to say something and hopefully help even the tiniest bit! I mean everything I said.
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Day 3! Looking forward to tomorrow, going to fill out paperwork for substance abuse/mental health help. Iām hoping this will help me out a lot!!!
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Good luck at your in person NA meeting tomorrow Flannery. I donāt think youāre going to need it. You know your shit. Just let it out as you do on here. I know sometimes writing it is much easier than speaking it in person. Just go with your heart where God is guiding you and youāll do fine. With God on your side youāre unstoppable. I just know it.
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Back to day one shits getting old. But a solid friend that I love dearly helped me get back in the right mind set.
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90% of parenting is being present. Even if at home, playing lego with them, admiring their drawing, talking to them is THE most important thing.
Two of the best things for anxiety are extended sobriety and getting professional help. Have u ever had counselling? I know it is expensive, even the online kind, but constant anxiety will make u want to escape.
Edit to add - kids moan like anything. They have voracious appetites for entertainment and things, and complain if they donāt get it. Part of being a good parent is teaching them to be grateful for what they do have.
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That was something I learned and I tried to explain to hardheaded people,
Itās not like I can just avoid any place that sells alcohol, that means no grocery shopping, no restaurants, hell even the 7-11 would be off limits.
Itās there, geographical change wonāt change anything, I just need to learn to accept that booze will always be part of our culture, but I can learn and keep learning how to abstain from it
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congrats on your 3 days 
thatās brilliant.
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Whatever your doing DO IT DIFFERENT
Whatever your trying TRY HARDER
Whatever youāve learnt LEARN TO USE IT
Whoever is helping you ASK MORE PEOPLE MORE OFTEN.
I promise you they want to help!!
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Thank you Eric! Thatās good advice. I will do just that 
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Hey guys
Well I think Iām going to blame the weather for all the struggles it seems are going on this weekend. I can always feel SAD (seasonal affective disorder) this time of year especially now with the time change. Like I was seeing from others I too have been extra anxious for awhile. Two of my three kids are having serious issues right now, treatment ends for me this week, and I start school soon after 21 years. With all that I really do think itās SAD that has me off. I didnāt leave the house this weekend and barely left my room. It did feel good to rest my body I have been doing a lot at the gym.
Happy to say
81 days no alcohol
44 days no cigarettes
Love you guys
Letās all have an amazing week
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Checking in this evening 
Been a busy weekend with work and emotions and cleaning and self care and what not. I didnāt go to work today. I relaxed alot and played with my friends puppy 
did some cleaning. I took a little break from major self care and introspection (a new word I learned). Iāve been analyzing my thoughts and behaviors to the point where Iām suffering almost. I do everything overkill lol wether itās good or bad, I ALWAYS do things to the extreme. And Iām realizing that even good things can have negative side effects if done too often. So I need to learn balance. I need to learn to relax and enjoy recovery and incorporate self care of course and recovery stuff like TS and meetings. But I have to also watch that I donāt slack on it either. Cuz not doing those things can lead to relapse. Anyway, I have a headache so Iām going to take a hot bath next and get a good rest. Start a new more balanced routine tmrw. Hope everyone is well
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Awesome job on ur sobriety and being smoke free! Glad u got abit of rest recently. One of my friends is effected by SAD. Not sure if ur aware or if this would help, but they do have these lights (Light therapy) that u sit in front of for abit to help reduce the effects of SAD. She swears by them 
just thot id mention it in case u didnāt know
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Oh girl, Iām literally so damn proud of you! You really inspire me I can relate to what ur saying about eating. Iām going thru that right now. Itās like Iām stuffing my emotions with food instead of drugs. I also know thi that if I do gain alot of weight bcuz of this, it severely negativly effects me, and thatās no good for sobriety also. When I was 21 and getting off meth I was severely underweight. No word of a lie lol I gained aprox 100lbs in 1 year due to eating. And Iām seeing a pattern here again too. So im working on eating healthy and exercise while also getting clean again this time around. Anyway, congratulations on ur key tags. Be so proud of urself. Whatever comes out while talking is what is meant to come out no need to feel nervous. Huge hugs my friend
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I hear you on the food thing and youāre right it does suck when our addict finds something else to grab a hold of. I was feeling pretty defeated about 6 months ago when I realized I was ālosingā my battle with my ED again but after sometime sitting with those feelings I am starting to get it now. Itās just where I am right now. Because I am here today doesnāt mean I will be in this same spot next year. Same goes for you, look at how far you have come!!!
Iām very happy to read youāre getting back to in person meetings. While I was feeling defeated I also got my butt back to in person meetings, found my tribe, made LOTS of healthy connections and itās made a world of difference. Maybe thatās the spice your needing too. Canāt wait to hear how it goes.
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Thanks Dana my doctor recommended one with 10000 and prescribed vitamin D and as embarrassed as I am to admit Iāve been tanning at the gymš³
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Day 48 checking in have a great day
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Checking in before bed.
Super pissed off and resentful right now at my hubby. Itās like we are teeter tottering on an argument but it hasnāt actually happened yet. But u know one little thing could set it off lol yaā¦ It exhausts me sometimes to not allow others words or actions effect me. I have control over wether or not I allow that to impact me. And ya, Iām going to go to bed happy tonight bcuz I deserve that happiness in my life. And tmrw is a new day. Iām going to bed clean and sober and that makes me happy good night all! Chat with u all tmrw
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