Thank you! That means so much so me 
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Late check in Day 45:
I really enjoyed my days of. My body battery is reloaded again and I am fully recovered from last week.
I like my sober mind… I can see so many things more clear now and it helps me allot with solving problems in life!
Can do this… I actually start to like it 
One day at a time… we can do this my TS Friends!
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What TS needs is more Chesney. Maybe on the pet thread. What a beautiful shot.
Thanks.
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Good for you!
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Carolyn, your first 90 days, you did it. 
I’m so proud of you and happy we get to go on this journey with you.
Ps. Chesney is such a cutie 
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I just posted some of her! She goes crazy in the snow.
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I remember the first time I felt pride in myself… it was in January of this year when I finished my Gr 12. Months prior to that “being proud” had been a topic at a meeting, when I was asked to share I had nothing. If I am being very honest the feelings of pride for my schooling have gone now… it makes me wonder about “pride”. It can be a fleeting emotion like all the others I suppose.
Congrats on your 3 full months of sobriety Carolyn, I am proud of you. 
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It makes me happy, too. 
Thank you for being here, Caroline. I’m so thankful for you. 
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Thanks so much, Stella. Yes, I understand those feelings. When I was thinking about it this morning and finally realized I didn’t feel proud, I was trying to figure out what it is that I actually feel. I came up with “content”. I’ll take it. 
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Congratulations on your 
days!!!
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You’re doing great! I lock your lock box idea. Having a little nest egg for emergency use is always wise.
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You’re welcome.
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Well done lady!
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Congratulations on your 3 days. Maybe you could transfer the money to another bank account so that it is out of your sight, kind of…
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I like this idea 
thank you I’m debating going to the bank today and asking them to set up am account that can not be accessed easily. So no transferring funds from one account to another or being able to pull money out via atm or bank machine. Like make it very difficult for me to access it. Maybe a lock on it? Idk what they can do. I’ll check it out
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Thanks so much, Mel! 
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@Winchester thank you you are right, that is what I should be doing, but I can’t seem to snap out of this restrict/binge cycle at the moment. Waiting for longer term psychodynamic therapy for my eating disorder. Congrats on 2+ years 
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on spending the money in a healthy way and I’m so pleased your husband is being supportive maybe you could pay the extra money off your debt if that would help keep you sober 
don’t let it have the power.
@Its_me_Stella sorry for your loss
@Fury I’m so pleased for you for reconnecting with your sister
@MagicILY congrats on triple digits 
@Dmcg1987 congrats on 50 days
@TeamMeyer congrats on 90 days
@Carol01 welcome 
you’re in the right place
@Chiron thank you stunning scenery photo 
@ShesGotMoxie congrats on 90 days I love the dog 
457 days no alcohol.
425 days no cocaine.
18 days no nicotine.
I’m so pleased that I’ve finally managed to stop vaping. 18 days without nicotine, 4 days without the vape at all (I used 0mg liquid for 2 weeks). I do miss it but only a handful of times per day and it doesn’t make me crave it. I do keep getting the occasional craving for a real cigarette, which I haven’t had for over 7 months, but that’s just the dying addict voice getting desperate for it’s fix.
I do think the quitting vaping has lead to the escalation of my ED behaviours. I mean I hear a lot of people eat more and gain weight after quitting smoking, so it’s not unusual. I’m really hoping it settles down though, but at the same time just trying not to beat myself up.
I’m still yet to hear anything about the job. Getting thrown from one extreme to the other in regards to whether I think I could cope with the job again or not, but recognising this as self doubt and trying not to listen.
Had CSA support group this morning, it was very heavy stuff about guilt and shame. I had palpitations and felt very dizzy again, but got through it, only 2 more weeks left.
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You did a great job quiting the cigarettes and now also with quiting the vape… For me this is still really difficult So what you are doing is awesome. Proud of you
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Checking in, Sober, yes ohh yes!
I feel like I complaine alot when I check in, but its nice to vent it out some where. Lately feel like Im spiraling down, down to a dark place where everything is shit. I have all my pains, all the headeachs and headpain, anxiety is getting worse, my thoughts are getting dark and I feel nothing with me is good, or good enough, I cry alot during the days. Maybe Im getting depressed? I want to get away from my feelings, I feel so deep, for my self, for everything, I really hurt inside if I see someone else hurt, even if I see it on TV I can feel so bad. I hate to feel my feelings its so tough, and I cant escape them because I dont numb myself with alco, and I cant release because I dont harm my self by cutting anymore either. Feelings are hard!
On the other side in hope to feel better I will work on my self. Im trying to have routins, its bit hard, but for a start I will get my self to bed at a time so I get my hours of sleep, and getting to bed same time every day (maybe +1hour in weekend). Also do so e easy exercise everyday for my musclepains, and get out for a walk everyday also on my days off from work.
Well this got a bit long and selfpitty, thanks for reading and with a wish for you all to have a great day.
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Day 27. Have a good day everyone
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