Checking in daily to maintain focus #35

Day 502. Anxiety, all day. Missing home. But life is good nonetheless. Im sober.

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Checking in - rough day today. My friendā€™s brotherā€™s funeral was today, and she and her family are on my mind. I even saw a funeral procession while I was on my way back from her place and the bunnies. The first winter storm of the year is approaching and has me feeling crummy physically, but I took care of my obligations and managed the bare minimum of my routines today. I am grateful to be sober. I found out that my husband will be away a few days on a business trip next week, and rather than commute 2 hours each way he and his coworker will stay overnight in a hotel. It will be so strange to be home alone! Another test for me in terms of my codependent tendencies, it seems. I have been wanting to focus my days more on my own development but it has been hard to not be so attentive to his needs, sometimes over my own. So I intend to use this time purposefully. Exactly what that looks like is still up in the air! But Iā€™ll figure something out. For the moment I am practicing loving kindness to myself today. Much love, amigos.

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Late check in. Tired. My long weekend just started, although tomorrow I have an early service to attend for a resident who died yesterday morning. And therapy to go to in the afternoon. I better get to bed pretty soon. First cuddle Luna a little bit if she lets me. Sober and clean. Good night all.

@ShesGotMoxie 90 days yay! Big congrats Carolyn, and thanks for sharing your beautiful doggo with us all. Big hugs.
@Butterflymoonwoman Looking good Dana. Positive stuff happening, positive thoughts occupying your mind. Keep going lady. Doing good.
@CATMANCAM Making progress on all fronts Tyler. Be proud. I am. Of you.
@Wakikki Sober! Yes! Congrats! Vent away friend, itā€™s one of the main reasons this place is here. We can take it. Iwas wondering, do you have a SAD lamp? Ever been tested for or even thought about Seasonal Affective Disorder in the first pace? For me itā€™s not the beginning and end of my depressive patterns, but it sure plays a part and November is typically the time I get my SAD lamp out of storage and use if each and every morning and I do think it helps. Otherwise I think youā€™re doing great and you are giving yourself every chance of being as healthy (mentally and physically) as you possibly can.
@RosaCanDo Youā€™ll be fine amiga. A good test case like you say yourself. You got this. We got you. Abrazos.

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@Chiron What a wonderful view!

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That is very observant. Sobriety takes a lot of active work in the beginning, and continual upkeep once a stable point has been reached. Sounds like u know this and are doing it!

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Whoo hoo! Congratulations!

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Checking in, day 51.
A change in medication has proved beneficial for me (sometimes less really is more) and Iā€™m back on track on my journey of growth and self love.

Yesterday was great, And today is ok.

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I havenā€™t checked in for a while. Here I am on day 165.

To everyone having a tough time and struggling, keep the faith :muscle:

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Day 152. Absolutely rotten day. Iā€™ve lost my wallet. Itā€™s just disappeared. Vanished into the aether. I had to stop my cards, and I will probably be in trouble for losing my travel card. I had to go to the DMV today anyway because my license expires Friday, but they refused to issue the ā€œenhancedā€ ID without two forms of government ID. Then the DMV workerā€™s scanner jammed and crumpled my documents! She was very apologetic, poor thing. Not her fault. Anyway, just feeling like garbage today. Staying sober though. At least I didnā€™t lose my wallet while blacked out at a bar!

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Sorry you had a bad day, Drew. Those days suck. But you are sober through the strife and better able to handle the challenge. I hope tomorrow is better.

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Iā€™m so sorry this happened. Losing your wallet is literally a nightmare enough without the extra rediculousness you experienced. I hope this is the worst of it. Hang in there.

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Day 469
Havenā€™t checked in or been around here much the past month. Life stuff has been a bit overwhelming. Hit a boiling point this weekend when we went out for my Memereā€™s birthday and she was pushing me to have a margarita with her and I yelled at her in the middle of the mexican restaurant that Iā€™m a damn alcoholic and just going to keep drinking my damn water. (Stronger more offensive words were used) Not my best moment. Loud restaurant and nobody else seemed to notice luckily but she kept arguing and insisting ā€œNo youā€™re not! Just have a drink!ā€ Canā€™t even let my guard down around my own grandmother.

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Checking in late, still sober, but oh so tired.

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Ah!
You were on my mind today, happy to see you checking in. Family can be tough, you did good though.

:orange_heart::seedling:

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Day 51 checking in :pray:t2:

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Day 1103 for me, feeling good.
Happy to be a part of this as it is reminding me where I come from. I donā€™t want to go back to this dark place I was living in. My own built prison.

I was reading something about not wanting to feel. I am grateful I learn bit by bit to feel and am open what I have to do to react to these needs expressed by the feelings. If that makes sense.

Have a good and sober day, evening :innocent::four_leaf_clover:

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Feels good isnā€™t it! For me I found the first 3 months the hardest to overcome and you just nailed that one! :wink::facepunch: And @ShesGotMoxie so did you! Well done!
WFP-20140305

@kat261 Iā€™m so happy for you! Look at your numbers: almost 100 :tada::tada::tada:
Good you prepared safety around you with the family meeting. Crappy English but I hope you understand :hugs:

@icebear owwwwā€¦that would ruin my day as well. Iā€™m always super stressed when I cannot find my wallet :expressionless:

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  1. Coffee. My long weekend is here. Going to a funeral service for a resident form my work place first. And group therapy later. Grey wettish skies. Iā€™m OK. Iā€™m sober and clean for one thing, which is a total prerequisite for making my life better. One day at a time. Have as good a Thursday as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. It helps so much. Love from Amsterdam and along the wayside in Texas some time ago.


@anon9289869 Glad to see you friend. Sorry for that. Lots of people just donā€™t get it. Not quite sure why it works that way.

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Day 17 today. :slightly_smiling_face: Feeling good and was successful fighting the urges lately

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#Day 1149 :coffee:
Told my brother about my upcoming wedding and the plans around it. I want to keep it simple and do not want to invite people to the ceremony. My brother and his wife complained saying I denied them and the others a way to show us their love to usā€¦
They where very persuasive with their opinion.
But I wonā€™t change my mind to it.
Itā€™s our wedding and we are going to do it our way.


Picture made yesterday, love nature in all his ways :beetle::green_heart:

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